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What about a non-pill option? I was on nuvaring for a few years and found that its effects versus those of the pill were night and day. I really prefered it. You have to get over the "ick" factor of grabbing a the ring out of your whatnot to replace it. No worse than tampons though. I really don't like condoms either and they aren't that effective. Or at least, as effective as I want my BC to be.
Mrs. Spring is super all about the FAM method and really knowledgeable about it.
I've been on various pills for YEARS and sometimes I would go months and be fine but there were way too many times that I was so depressed and I really think the pill is to blame. I also have zero sex drive and I had been bleeding in between periods (like, pretty bad not just spotting). I would tell my dr and he would change something slightly, it would work for a month and then same ol'. We made the decision to drop the pill and use condoms a month ago (just had my period first time pill free). We don't want to keep using condoms but I really don't want to go back to putting harmones in my body so we are kind of in the same boat.
I am interested to see some answers.. the whole natural planning thing scares the cr@p out of me (and FI). I have no desire to get pregnant for a very long time!! I have AT LEAST 5 years before I would even consider it. Was planning on asking my gyno at my next appointment his opinion..
I think the natural method can work, but I do think you have to be very diligent and careful not to make a mistake. A friend of mine bought this elaborate thermometer that tells your body temperature very precisely, and therefore helps you figure out when you're ovulating (I guess your temperature rises when you are). Unfortunately, she was a little careless about figuring out how to program it, and her baby's due in September! So, I think you just have to research carefully and make sure you're using your chosen method very accurately.
ok, first things first, using STM is PROVEN JUST AS EFFECTIVE AS THE PILL! Secondly, if you do choose to abstain during your fertile times, it can be MORE EFFECTIVE THAN ANY OTHER FORM OF BC! The reality is, if your method of BC is going to fail, it's only going to fail within about a 5 day window of your being fertile. So, if you were to want to have sex during those days, a Condom then would be your best friend. My FI and will be abstaining.
Your Gyno's opinion could be flawed. I hate to say it, but most don't actually know about the DIFFERENT methods of FAM or NFP and still think most are talking about Calendar Method, which IS completely foolish and doesn't work. Also, Dr's have drug reps in their pockets... Unless you are going to one that is actively supporting it (which some do) odds are their knowledge of it is most unfortunately little to none.
To begin practicing it, or even to just start learning more, I suggest you head out to Barnes and Nobles today and pick up a copy of "Taking Charge of your Fertility" and start reading it. There's no reason for you to be a basket case or infuse your body with all kinds of crap. I'm in my first month of charting and so far it's been really easy peasy. It's actually really exciting to finally learn what the heck my body does.
I have had horrible reactions on BC. When I was in high school, I was put on BC because of my endo. I had always been a very happy go lucky girl and pretty laid back. Over a course of a year (with no changes in lifestyle, events, anything) I became severely depressed, almost to the point of suicidal, my anxiety was through the roof...it was a horrible, horrible experience. Granted, I now know that it wasn't just the pill, but I actually do have anxiety/depression problems (it just so happened they came out in full force when I got on the pill...sucky coincidence)...Anyhoo, I got my endo under control and for several years went off of the pill and my anxiety/depression got better to a way more manageable level. Fast forward about 10 years...my FI and I got engaged and I went on the pill about 6 months before the wedding to get body used to it. Originally I was on YAZ and loved it. It helped my mood swings, lighter periods, virtually no cramps, but then I started spotting constantly and getting major major headaches (and I NEVER get headaches), so I decided to try a different pill. After about 2 weeks on it, I was right back where I was in high school. My depression and anxiety was out of control and I felt like I was "losing it," even though for the last 10 or so years I've learned how to deal with it. So, needless to say, I kicked the pills to the curb and now I'm not any kind of BC...which is ok beings my DH is stationed elsewhere and doesn't live with me. lol Sooooo.....I'm glad you started this post b/c I need some answers too! I plan on trying the pill one more time when he's finally living here and my life is more "stable," but for now, I need to figure something
The temp. reading is NOT used for BC. The temp only tells if you HAVE ovulated. Therefore, if you wait to see a shift in temp. then odds are you WILL be preggers. In the right environment, sperm can live for up to 5 days... your egg only lasts about one, so you can technically have sex and get pregnant 4-5 days later with no other sex inbetween...
STM is based of primary and secondary signs of fertility. Temp only merely tells if you did ovulate, and then it will also tell you if you are pregnant... and the conversely about to or in the midst of miscarrying.
Thanks so much for the advice. @ ejs: I've considered trying the ring. It is actually probably going to be my last try on hormonal anything. I just don't think the pills are going to cut it for me. I know FI as well as Myself are a little sketchy about the risk if I go off of it. I don't want to just depend on my bodies "natural" cycle. But I'm just at a point where I don't know what else to try.... I'm nervous about it.
chelseamorning is usually pretty active on these threads, she's been using it SUCCESSFuLLY for about 2.5 years or something...
For some more info check these threads
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/nfp-choosing-a-method
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/different-types-of-nfp-courses-can-someone-please-explain
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/coming-of-birth-control
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/starting-nfp
It does sound nerve wrecking, but there are so many advantages to it, that I highly rec learning more about it before you decide if it IS scary or not. It's really not :-)
@ KLP thanks for the links. I'll have to check them out later today. I've looked @ some of those posts.
I guess my main concern is what are people using while they're still adjusting to this Natural Planning Method? Are they using condoms (which some say can affect your mucas) are they using something else? or are they abstaining? I guess I just need to make a dicision if I'm going to or not going to try it. I'll have to take a period of time to abstain and see what my body is doing....
Well, I've been using FAM for over a year with no problems whatsoever. I wasn't sure if I could trust my body at first either. Now it's second nature. :)
As for coming off of BC, I'd be dilligent about using a barrier method. Just be wary of spermicide because of how it can mask some of your signals.
My husband and I used STM (the Sympto-Thermal Method of NFP/FAM) successfully for several months before trying to conceive. When we did start trying for a baby, we got pregnant on literally our first try. :) That's the beauty of Fertility Awareness; once you understand how your body works you can use the same method for avoiding pregnancy or trying to conceive.
We always used a barrier method (male condoms) instead of abstaining. We used condoms every time until I felt comfortable knowing my fertile periods; after that, we only used condoms a few times a month when I knew I had the possibility of getting pregnant. Other people use female condoms, sponges, etc... or abstinence for the first few months of use and during fertile windows thereafter. Obviously, abstinence is the most effective of these choices, but it's really up to you as a couple.
I totally second KLP's suggestion of reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's a great guide on how to properly use STM. Also, I tracked my ovulations on www.fertilityfriend.com, which is a free website with lots of helpful information (vidoes, tutorials, advice, etc...). Finally, one of the best things about most NFP/STM methods is that you don't have to spend hardly anything to get effective bc. I bought a digital thermometer from the drugstore for about $10 and a used copy of TCOYF for the same amount (i.e. total = less than one pack of bc pills). And as long as you get through the initial learning curve, STM is about as much "work" as taking a daily birth control pill. Good luck!
There are "rules" for those coming off the pill, it may require a bit more diligence, but there are ways to do it. That book I mentioned goes over it and there's also classes you can take with an instructor who can help interpret your charts and signs, etc...
Like above - you have to be careful about spermicides. Also, even having sex can mask your cervical fluid so there's also ways that you check things out before your sexy time.
Thanks Again Ladies! I guess I need to go buy the book everyone is suggesting!
Hey thanks for the shout-out KLP2010! I have been using the sympto-thermal method (STM) of natural family planning since August 2007. No babies yet! Hormonal birth control really disagreed with my body too. After years of trying many different pills as well as the ring I finally gave up and turned to NFP. It has been extremely cost-effective, easy to learn, and easy to do.
Some of my (rather verbose) responses in this thread here address the efficacy and methodology of STM: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/alsonatural-family-planning-does-it-work
I second "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" (TCOYF) by Toni Wechsler as the best all-audiences book about NFP out there. The lynchpin of NFP is that a woman is only fertile for a short time each month. NFP allows you to determine when that fertile time is, and then you choose what to do during that time (abstain or use a barrier method such as condoms). You do not have to use NFP alone to avoid pregnancy. If you are comfortable with using condoms (or any barrier method) to avoid pregnancy then you can learn NFP concurrently and even can use NFP to enhance the efficacy of condom use---for example, it will tell you when you are very fertile, in which case you have to decide how much you trust the condom, and it will tell you when you are totally infertile (after ovulation for the rest of the cycle), at which point you don't need to use a condom at all. NFP is compatible with many different lifestyles and family planning plans. The only thing it is not compatible with is hormonal birth control (or pseudo-hormonal methods like the copper IUD).
There is a set method for learning NFP when you are coming off the pill. I had been taking the pill too when I decided to learn NFP. It does complicate matters because not only are you learning a new method, but the residual hormones can mask the signs your body is giving. Nevertheless, tons of women figure it out and do so successfully! My signs became clear after two months off the pill. You will know when it's right because your chart will look just like what's in the book. If you are unsure, you can always give it another month or consult someone who knows about NFP.
The recommendation for women learning NFP after quitting the pill is that you abstain from sex until after you have ovulated for the first three cycles off the pill. That allows you to observe your body without any interference. The signs you need to look for with NFP are the beginning and the end of the fertile window. So once you've found the end of it, you can have sex (using a barrier method if you want, although it's not necessary) until the end of your cycle. There's a chapter on doing this in TCOYF. Feel free to PM me too with any questions.
On the subject of books, while I liked and own TCOYF, I learned from and really recommend the book The Art of Natural Family Planning by the Couple to Couple League as well.
If you have the funds or inclination to have two books, I would recommend you get The Art of Natural Family Planning too (make sure to get the revised edition from 2007, not the older one). It's not my first recommendation usually because it is written from a Catholic perspective in which birth control is considered wrong, and lots of people find that off-putting. However, there is only one chapter on that, so you can skip that chapter easily if you want. The "how-to" chapters are free of morality discussion. I recommend it because I think it gives clearer directions than TCOYF. I liked that there are exercises where you can practice interpreting sample charts. There are even color pictures of the stages of the mucus sign---so valuable when you are learning.
Thanks Soo much Chelseamorning for all the insite! I'm getting lots of great feedback... I'm feeling better about this :)
This is great information- i think i am going to order the book/s tonight. i like the idea that this is much more natural than being "doped up" on harmones.. and i like that when we DO decide to get pregnant (someday...) we will have a better understanding of how to go about doing that!! thank you!
i take my pill continuously so i don't get my period- EVER. My doctor actually recommended I do this and said that's what she and all her colleagues do. It's a monophasic pill so there is no fluxuation in hormones. There is no medical necessity to have a monthly period and it will not affect your fertility. I know this technique is not for all girls (I have friends who say it's "unnatural") but taking the pill in the first place is "unnatural" and I have to say it's WONDERFUL to never get my period. NO spotting, NO mood swings, NO cramps... i love it!!
@butrfly682: I do the same thing where I don't have off times in my pill. Sadly, it doesn't stop the side effects!
I'm thinking about going off BC too. I'm not sure that I could trust myself with just FAM or NFP though.
@MissAsB: I'm in the same boat. I'm on a pill that supposidly is the same dosage through all the rows of pills but I still get the side effects.... Arg
Trust yourself! NFP is not difficult and the rewards of understanding your body are awesome. I LOVE it. I second the TCOYF book, it is clear and has tons of examples so you can see a chart that looks like yours. Also lots of resources in case there is a problem. I also bought the Petite Sophia thermometer to go with the FAM method and it is great for newbies because it has software that does the charting, so I have used it in conjunction with my charts to make sure I am charting correctly. It also has an alarm that goes off in the morning so I never forget to take my temp on time. They sell it on amazon.com. Easy peasy!
Hi Lacylust, I can completely relate to hating pills! I tried the nuvo ring for awhile but didn't have any better luck, plus I found I was more prone to infections (not fun).
I thought about doing natural family planning, but my doctor, a well-respected naturopath who I see for all of my gyno needs (and who will probably be my prenatal doctor when we decide to have children) advised against it. She said that the method can work well for some women, but not for all, and if you are not one of the ones that it works for, you won't know that until you are pregnant. I've also had at least two friends using the NFP method that have become pregnant. Now, they may not have been doing it correctly, but either way, I haven't been in a position where it is something I want to risk. Personally, I'd be willing to experiment with it after I'm married, when I'm in a more stable position financially, etc.
Anyhow, I got an IUD instead and couldn't be more happy with it. I don't even think about it, honestly, and I don't have any side effects of moodiness, mood instability, etc that I experienced while on pills. The negative is that my periods are a little more painful now than they used to be (more cramps) and I also have heavier bleeding the first two days of my cycle (I had very light flow before getting the IUD). However, the tradeoffs to me are totally worth it. Also, while cramps were pretty severe for the first two months, they've gotten much better to deal with over time. Finally, I should mention that I have the copper IUD. The Mirena (plastic one) is supposed to generate less cramping than the copper, and also less severe changes in volume of flow.
I have major mood swings with the pill and never heard of the these methods until now. Thanks for the info-I'll look into it. I definately don't want to stay on the pill much longer!
By the way, for our "1st wedding" in India 3 months ago, I was scheduled to get my period the day of the wedding. My GYN told me to take the pill continously starting two months before we left. I ended up spotting every single day we were there (3 weeks). I just realized a few weeks ago that my period is due for half of our honeymoon in April so I'm considering taking the pill continously again, but crossing my fingers there isn't any spotting this time. Anybody been through this?
I'll second the love for an IUD - if you are interested in NFP for non-religious reasons, it might also be something to think about. The Mirena does have hormones, but (according to my gyno) the dosage is much smaller because it doesn't need to be systemic, and therefore it has a smaller chance of the emotional side effects. The Paraguard (copper) is hormone-free.
The downside of an IUD is that you can't really just "try it out" - getting it inserted is a serious, somewhat painful, process. For me, totally worth it, since it matched my needs really well. But it's something you want to do a lot of research about, and have conversations with your doctor about, before you decide on it.
Hormonal BC made me crazy too so my FI and I switched to condoms - I know they aren't for everyone, but we found a brand that works for us and we use them diligently. No babies, no scares for over a year now.
Look into the copper IUD. It's a piece of copper inserted into your uterus, painful for the first day or two and then totally effective and non-hormonal birth control. My best friend uses it and swears by it. She had it removed when they wanted to get pregnant and had it put back in after having her baby.
So, for the last 8 years I have kept track of my period on a fertility wesbite designed for women trying to concieve. FI and I use it to NOT get pregnant. I just hate, hate, hate hormonal BC. Then again, my body is like clockwork--there is not guessing as to when I'm ovulating. If you're a fairly regular person, this method can work well.
@LacyLust be careful with the Nuvaring I went on that in desperation because of the same thing the even low dose BC pills were so difficult for me to be on. It was pretty much like I had PMS ALL the time. I went on Nuvaring and it was the worst of all of them it made me very angry and aggressive. In the end I found a new doctor who diagnosed me with PMDD (my previous doc had misdiagnosed me with chronic-depression instead of just taking me off BC pills). She also found a major Vitamin D deficiency which can also effect your hormones so you might want to have your doc look into that too because it can definitely effect your mood swings and hormones. For me I can't be on any form of pill or any product with hormones in it (IUD's, inserts, etc). Now I take a prescription dosage of Vitamin D and I'm also treated for PMDD for 1 week when I go through pms. It was totally life changing for me, I wish I had switched doc's years ago! PM me for more info about PMDD!
I totally recommend the copper IUD. It was great - once its in you're done - you check the strings every so often but that's it! And it works for 10 years, plus for me, it was basically free since my insurance covered it completely (though they wouldn't cover pills? weird).
I can't believe how many people are in similar situations! I so much appreiciate everyones feedback.
As for the IUD: I think that is something I would look into later. Maybe after we have kids. How many years are they suppose to stay in place for? I'd just hate to get it now and then get it removed in another year or two... or does that matter?
@ ladyox: do you mind sharing the brand of condom that works best for you? I guess finding a good one could make it a little easier to adjust to.
@ cricket: What type of questions did you ask your doctor about it? I'm thinking of switching doctors because I feel like when I tell him I get major mood swings with my Birth Control that he kind of shrugs it off like it's no big deal. How severe were your mood swings? how did you know the difference between PMS and Depression?
You should absolutely buy the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Tony Wechsler. I was amazed to actually learn how everything works!
NFP will change your life! For the better! It is the one thing throughout the engagement process that has kept me calm. Getting to know and understand your body does a tremendous amount of good for not only your physical health but your emotional health as well. It is like you are on the same page with your body! Plus, the benefits that NFP brings to a relationship are amazing enough for me to use it for that reason alone. The communication skills, the respect, the understanding, the list goes on. Throughout all the chaos of planning a wedding, you shouldn't have to worry about your body going out of whack as well! I too am using the Sypmto-Thermal Method of NFP, and if I can do it and love it, you can too! One of the things I struggled with was just what you said -- trusting myself. It felt like the decision of having or baby or not having a baby relied solely on MY interpretation of my body! It's not so. It does have to do with your interpretation, but that's why I love Sympto-Thermal - it combines other factors as well, since as temperature checks, etc. If you're thinking about NFP, I would consider Sympto-Thermal above the rest, for the mere fact that it cross checks with three symptoms. As a young bride, NFP has brought me exactly what I've needed - no stress, no anxiety, and better communication with my future husband!
All the best!!
@LacyLust, I don't think there is any problem removing an IUD after 1-2 years, except that if you pay out of pocket it might not make sense financially, as the device is about $500 (with doctor services on top of that).
@Historienne, great comments/ advice- it is definitely something to be discussed with your doctor, and researched. Also, the procedue is pretty painful if you haven't given birth. Apparently it is much less painful if you wait to use an IUD until after childbirth.
I too dislike how the pill is making me feel and react, and is it possible to use the NFP method after you have been on the pill? I was like clockwork before the wedding, so I don't know how it will work now. AND, I am getting married in three weeks.
@hisbunny: from advice I've got and from some research it seems to take about 3 cycles for your body to really get back to normal. Your cycles should hopfully still be like clock work after you stop the pill if they were good before. I have heard though that it does take some time for your body to adjust; so I don't know what your body would do in just 3 weeks...? Maybe someone else could chime in on advice for that. I would probably wait till after the wedding. Just in Case your body has a weird break out or something. Good Luck!
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So I've read almost every post there is about Birth Control and all your horror stories about the emotional ups and downs with Hormonal BC. I've been on BC for 5 years now. I've been with FI since i've started on BC. We've always just depended on it. We've never had any problems or scares. It's been pretty easy peasy. Except about the last 1 or 2 rows of my pills I turn into an emotional rollercoaster. I just can't handle it anymore. I've tried different pills; they all seem the same. I can feel my body "heating" up and getting angry and irritated but I have no control over it. It's like some weird demon invades my body. lol. It's really not funny but I just don't know what to do. We are getting married in May of 2011. I want to try and go off my pill but I know that we do not want to get pregnant before the wedding. That is for sure. But i don't know if I can handle being an emotional wreck for much longer. I've been reading about these different FAM methods and STM methods. Does anyone have any advice for me? Can you share your experience?
Are there more conveinient options out there other than condoms? We've tried them; I know FI doesn't prefer them (I don't really either) but he said if it will help me feel better he will do that. Even if we do try this FAM method I sitll don't know if I feel confident in just using it alone. Any advice would be soo soo much apprieciated!