Post # 1
I don’t want to shell out too many details as I’m always paranoid of everyone I know finding out my weddinbee name.
My FSIL (FI’s brother’s wife) pulled out ALLLLLLLLLL the stops for her wedding as far as parties. 2 Engagement parties (one from her homestate and another where she and her FI now live) 3, yes 3, showers (homestate, local and where the FI’s parents live) and I could go on. Let’s just say that she wanted it big, huge and made a huge fuss if people were not flying in from out of state for every. single. party. Fine, whatever. Her choice. She really pressured her FMIL (and my FMIL) to come to all of these parties.
I guess I’m irked because she hasn’t done or really said shit about our engagement. She’s been invited to the shower I’m having but hasn’t even mentioned it. I’m aware that nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do and that time does not stop for everyone when someone else has a wedding but….for someone who made such an enormous deal about her own wedding….you would think she would understand what it’s like to be happy/enthusiastic over someone elses.
I’m not going to do anything or harbor massive resentment – I’d just like to hear other stories of people who made a HUGE deal over their own weddings and expected others to do the same but then when it came time for you….they basically just looked at their nails and yawned.
Post # 3
many people have entitlement issues
Post # 5
she sounds like an attention seeker. Forget her, she’s just your sister-in-law, she will get her comeuppance when you least expect it
She’s also probably jealous and worried your wedding will be better. Me and my SIL got married in the same year, 3 months apart. We just got on with the planning, I was not fussed with what she was doing etc …
Post # 6
I seriously doubt her narcissistic personality was unique to her wedding time. In all likelihood, she’s just “that person.” I have people in my life who are “those people,” and trust me when I say I can understand where you’re coming from. You cannot change a narcissist, period. The only thing you can do is focus your energy and attention on the other people in your life, and try not to engage with her too much. The world already revolves around her, so don’t add to it.
You may get flamed for your complaint, but I hear you. This isn’t even about wedding stuff; trust me, this will be your life. Hang in there. Have more wine.
Post # 7
@chercee: hmmm thanks- you’re right.
People can flame away if it makes them feel better – Weddingbee is for support and I haven’t posted anything ridiculous or offensive. I would hope it doesn’t come to that in this thread.
Post # 8
@skippydarling: I agree that she is probably like this with everything in her life. Just wait until she has kids!
Post # 9
Of course someone who made a huge deal out of their wedding isn’t going to give a shit about any one elses – it’s all about them! You really shouldn’t be surprised by this.
Post # 11
@MrsWBS: exactly what I was thinking.
She made a big deal about her wedding because it was about her and not because she loves weddings.
Post # 12
This was super annoying during my wedding. “Friends” who expected the entire world to revolve around them during their wedding, but couldn’t even be bothered to come to mine (because they didn’t feel like it). People have forgotten how to be empathetic, to express joy for others, and not pout when someone else has something going on.
To echo a PP, yeah, people like this are usually this way all the time, it’s just more annoying during wedding stuff.
No flames from me because I’ve been there (not with future family though).
Post # 13
She sounds unpleasant.
I’d hope she doesn’t attend your shower, but not let her affect your mood if she does. And I would just not really spend a lot of time thinking about her, or talking with her. I don’t really think she’s very beneficial to have as a major person in your life. Let her be the annoying person you occasionally hear about and rarely remember exists.