Post # 1
I am 46 and this is my first real wedding. I was hesititant about choosing my BM’s but my mom pushed me into having my two sisters as co-MOH. One is ok, the other is being a complete cow. Then my friend who is the other BM has just informed me that she is going to try to conceive another child starting this fall and wants to wait to confirm if she can be a BM later in the year. I have done everything for this friend, and she has always been selfish. We had stopped being friends for about 2 yrs but recently reconnected. I hosted a massive Bridal Shower and Stagette for her wedding, and she ended up having a destination wedding that I could not attend. However, she had not asked me to be a bridesmaid and I should have known better.
I have been sending my sisters BM dress pictures for a month now, with mostly no’s and/or no response. Tonight I finally emailed them and said “come on, you have to help me here, what do you want to wear, so fare you and vetoed everything I’ve shown you” I got a one line response…. something we can wear again.
I am frustrated and angry. I know the weddings not for 1.5yrs, but I’d like to have some idea of the dresses so I can start with a theme, colour, planning. I feel like I just give and give and give and these people just treat me like crap. I am ready to say, here is your dress show up in it in your size.
Post # 3
@MrsTimmy: actually, I’d just say “here’s your dress. if you don’t get it, you don’t get to be a bm” and let ’em be. other than that… i’ve got nothing 🙁
sorry you’ve gotta deal with this!!! (((((HUGS)))))
Post # 4
Yuck. Sorry your BMs are being so bratty. How about you pick something out, and if she doesn’t like it, then make her pick something out herself.
If she doesn’t pick out something herself by a certain time then she will have to go with your pick or take a hike. It’s a dress. If she feels she can’t wear it again she can donate it or consign it.
I wonder why there are so many bratty BMs out there. It’s easy to say yes to being a BM, but you have to fulfill the role. If you can’t do it or know that you may possibly be unreliable – just say no and save the drama.
I really hope things work out. ((HUGS)) Good luck!
P.S. Not that the one planning on getting pregnant is being bratty, but really if she knew she was going to try to get pregnant she should have thought about whether or not she wanted to be a BM when you asked. But it could still work out anyway if you don’t mind her being pregnant in the BM dress.
Post # 5
The pregant one is bugging me too. Why did she say yes if she knew that. So if she starts trying in Septemnber….the following scenarios are possible….She will get pregnant right away and have the baby just before the wedding (makes it hard to size a BM dress, also, means she will be exhausted she already has a child under 1, so she will be with a baby and a 2 yr old by the wedding)….or She doesn’t get pregnant right away but might be pregnant for the wedding, which is fine, except she needs to fly to the wedding…so again (what about BM dress, and what if she is too pregnant, alot of airlines won’t let you fly past a certain date). I would really like her to bow out instead of me having to say this isn’t going to work. But I think it is far too dicey. Also, she and her husband have decided to move back to Canada, hubby with no job and both with no place to live. Being a BM does have some expense to it. And I don’t see it being financially feasable for her. ughh
Post # 6
I’m with Ryna. Get rid of the drama and just pick the dresses yourself. If they don’t like them then say that you gave them plenty of time to send you some feedback and they didn’t want to.
However, you could wait a little. You can still pick a color and a scheme without having bridesmaid dresses picked out so early. You are more than a year out and bridesmaid dresses don’t take too long to get in.