- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Disclaimer—This is a long vent/story!!
Tonight I broke down in front of my DH. I have been feeling emotional and upset lately but the past few days put the cherry on top.
The news, while exciting, is also a little bitter sweet for me. My brother and SIL just found out (6 weeks out) they are expecting. (I’M GUNNA BE AN AUNT!! ) They are older and own their own home but other than that, they are not ready to have a child. They have bill collectors calling daily, no health insurance, they always pay bills late, there house is always a mess and they fight all the time. They also have had a lot of breaks in their lives that I am so jealous of. They have been given there wedding, cars, education costs, their home (down payment of $60,000), and even government aided health insurance since SIL is pregnant. (The baby will cost them nothing)
Right now the DH and I are living in a one bedroom apartment trying to save every penny to buy a home. We have busted our butts for everything we have and we still have student loan debt, wedding debt, car debt and debt debt (Credit Cards). And when we have a baby we will have medical bill on top to boot. (because we are too responsible to have a child when we couldn’t afford it so the government will not cover a penny of that) I just feel like we never get a break and I want so badly to start a family.
Anyways, DH and I have a plan, as long as I can get a full time job we should be able to buy a home by the year. Then we will have to wait for DH to finish student teaching, which will be next winter semester. So if all plays right we want to be due next summer putting our TTC starting in September (right around our 1 year annv). If September rolls around and we are not ready to buy a home then we will but off TTC.
While over the weekend, I went out with my In-law family because it was my MIL birthday. (DH had to work) At dinner, someone asked when we were next to have a baby (DH will be the first on his side) and I casually said we were “hopefully” shooting for next summer. DH’s grandmother and brother started whispering behind my back about how we need to own a home and he needs to finish school and all this stuff. (Come on, it’s a small table) and if you have concerns confront me. I’m not a child, especially if I’m thinking about having children.
Needless today it really hurt my feelings and with all the other baby crap going on I feel like its never going to happen for us. Who says you have to own a home to have children?? I don’t want to buy a home to find out we have to move (and not be able to sell because of the market) because DH can’t find a teaching job in Michigan. We have so many unknowns because of DH’s school and job renting for the next few years would probably be better for us, but if we did that, everyone would talk behind out backs.
Can anyone relate? Are we alone? Suggestions? Questions? Comments? Concerns?