Post # 1
My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been together for just over a year and we moved into together about 3 months ago. We have been pretty serious from the beginning, but we’ve been talking about getting married for several months now.
He has recently just become a partner in his company and is having to make monthly payments over the next few years to buy in. So before I moved in, we discussed getting engaged in the fall, probably around November since that would be several months after he became a partner and would give him time to get used to making the payments.
Of course, I would much rather get engaged sooner, but I understand the situation and I’m trying to be patient! Last night we had another talk about getting engaged and he told me that we’ll need to wait until the end of the tax year since he’s not sure how much he’ll owe in taxes now that he’s a part owner of the company. So now we’re talking December/January rather than October/November. I know it’s only a few more months, but it feels like an eternity. I just felt like crying :(.
I told him I’d rather get engaged and have any ring than have nothing. My aunt was asking when we’re getting engaged when we were home a couple weeks ago (along with everyone else in the world…it’s constant!)…anyhow, I explained the when and why to her and she suggested that we just get the setting a I want with a fake center stone that we can replace later. I suggested that to Boyfriend or Best Friend and he thought that was stupid. He keeps telling me he wants to marry me soon…well we have to start with a proposal!
At this point, I’m not even excited about it anymore. It’s starting to feel like a business transaction. It won’t even be a surprise now…we might as well just go pick something out and say we’re engaged.
I know it’s bratty, but I’m just having a pity party for myself today. Anyone else feel like the waiting game is taking all the romance out of the whole thing???
Post # 3
I understand how you feel, I’ve been with my bf for almost 7 years and it was very frustrating having to wait around even for an answer or discussion. But, you and your SO have discussed the when and the how (for the most part) so you should be very pleased that it is coming within the next year! I know it feels like forever to you, but 2 years of dating before the engagement is nothing. My suggestion to you is to clear your head of the waiting-to-be-engaged feelings and find enjoyment in other activities. Even if that is actually PLANNING your wedding! Look up what you want, venues, flowers, DIY projects, the whole thing. And just remind yourself that you will be getting engaged down the line, but in the meantime you can occupy yourself with other things. You don’t want to end up feeling resentful toward him for getting his career together for a more financially secure future for you two. Take a step back, enjoy your man for the reasons you love him now, not what you will love him even more for in the future! 🙂
Post # 4
Aww, I know how rough it can be! At least you know it’s coming soon, even if it is going to take longer than you originally planned. I second the PP. Get busy! Keep yourself distracted so you don’t dwell on it too much – that’s what I’m having to do right now. It’s tough, but it’s possible. Working towards a goal helps, too. I’m currently training for a 5k!
Post # 5
So exciting that he is planning on proposing soon! I think you should not pressure him or let it be obvious that you are upset because maybe he will surprise you with an earlier engagement!? Maybe he is trying to throw you off so you don’t expect one in the upcoming months. I know it is hard, but just be extra loving and YOU and he will just hopfully speed the process up some!
Post # 6
Thanks for all of the advice and kind words. You’re all right. I need to relax and let go of my timeline so I can enjoy today!