Post # 1
Ok so a little bit of background:
I should have been graduating with my bachelors this spring but I’m not. I was attending school out of state and in the Fall semester of my junior year (2008) I had a little bit of an emotional breakdown and decided to move back home. Because I decided to transfer across a state line (and only go to school part time for the spring semester) i won’t be graduating until spring 2011.
Now for the story:
I was browsing through facebook and (stupidly) went to my ex-boyfriend’s (we dated for 4 years and it ended horribly) now girlfriends page. And it said she got into pharmacy school. Which is my (hopeful) plan for the future. And she is a year younger than I am. Cue pity party please.
I was always that girl who everyone expected huge things from. I graduated high school with over a 4.0, top of my class and had my pick of schools. Now I’m going to a really small state school so that I can live at home and it is taking me 5 years to graduate. I hate to say it, but I am emberassed that I didn’t live up to the expectations I had in high school. I mean I’m still doing great in school and all that, but I feel like I’ve let myself down.
The worst part of it is I was finally coming to terms with taking longer to graduate. I was happy to see all my friends getting their med/vet/grad school acceptances knowing that my turn was coming soon enough.
But then I had to see that ONE girl get accepted and it totally broke me down.
No real point to this except I needed to vent. Thanks for letting me!!
(Edit: oops, meant to put this in emotional but clicked submit too soon)
Post # 3
*hugs* At least you’re in school! I still can’t decide if I want to go to college or not! I give you some major props!
Post # 4
aww dont worry about it, You have already come so far! some people never even get a chance to do half the things that you have accomplished already. : )
Post # 5
i know how you feel! i was super motivated, got into nursing school, started nursing school and had some crazy breakdown when i realized it wasn’t what i wanted to do and dropped out. i moved home for a semester and came back. i was supposed to be graduating this semester, but last semester i had a lot of health issues that made being in the college of education (new plan) impossible. i even had my professors say to me that teaching was not for me simply because of my health issues – bastards! anyway i had like three classes left but after the absolute hell of last semester i just could not bring myself to resume. i enrolled in my last courses and then just didn’t go so i dropped them and now apparently i’m taking the semester off. i definitely was just burned out and needed to breathe and be done with the university for awhile.
i was worried what everyone else would think about it but i decided i didn’t really care. in fact i’ve barely told any of my friends that i’m not finishing right now, i just don’t want to talk to them about it because then i would have to go into the details of why i needed the break so bad (friends know that i had health issues but really didn’t know the extent of them).
anyway you will get there! take some time for yourself – then come back refreshed and motivated to finish up! 🙂
Post # 6
Your family will love and support you no matter what. For the longest time I was planning on joining the military (namely the navy). Finally about 2 months before I was supposed to leave I made the decision not to join in order to preserve FI’s and I’s relationship and because I realized I didn’t want the job that I was going to get. Until my cousin (who is in the army) talked to me last week and let me know that everyone supports my decision and understands that I’d rather do something else.
Post # 7
*flies the pity party flag* it will be ok, dont be down on yourself. Life throws you curveballs sometimes and you will get there in your own time! dont be so hard on yourself, your doing great!
Post # 8
I think the average person takes 6 years to finish their undergrad. Most everyone I went to college with took over 4 years! I think it’s totally normal. Especially since you’re likely pre-pharm, which means your classes are tougher than a lot of other majors.
You’re right on track!
And, high school expectations mean nothing. I know peopel who graduated at the bottom of our class who are going to medical school now and I know peple who graduated in the top 5 who struggled to graduate college. I don’t really believe that how you do in high school is a direct correlation to college–college is a whole other ball game! Plus, look at it this way–if you’re taking a litte longer to graduate, you’re NOT cramming 18 credits in a semester. Which means your grades are probably better and you’re less stressed! So you won’t be burnt out when you get to pharmacy school. Basically, all that matters is what you do in college, not high school. Don’t worry about that, you’re working towards a goal!
Plus I think with most professional schools the average age of entry is 26-27. MOST of those students do not graduate and go straight into professional school. So once you get in, you’ll be the young one =]
Post # 9
Oh hun! No one is disappointed in you! Everyone has setbacks. But as long as you are still chasing your goals, isn’t that all that matters?
I know a TON of people who took 5 years to graduate, and I don’t think any less of them. 🙂
Post # 10
you’ll get there, just wait! I know it sounds so hard, but after seeing so many people i know drop out of college… well, you’re ahead of the game there. Things will get better!! ((hugs))
Post # 11
I am that exact same girl! Except I am on the six-year route, I should have graduated last spring! But I had sort of an emotional breakdown too, and ended up going to culinary school for awhile, dealing blackjack for awhle and finally getting back into school. I will graduate next spring too.
It’s really hard when you were the one your family always put on a pedestal, and things end up working out differently than you expected. But you know what, I am happy I am not graduating this year, or last year, because there are no jobs anyway! None of my friends who graduated last year have “real” jobs yet. Also, if I hadn’t became a blackjack dealer, I would have probably never met my boy, which was worth my six-year B.A by itself.
Give yourself some love,
Post # 12
Thanks to all you wonderful ladies for your encouraging words, they are really helpful!
I know I’m still on the right track, even if it is taking me awhile to get there. I’m deciding between pharmacy school and graduate school for a phd so we’ll see where I end up in life in the near future. My one comfort is knowing that even though a ton of my friends graduate this spring they are going right back to school in the fall again :p
and @everyone who has been/is in my situation it is really nice knowing I’m not the only one and I wish you all the best of luck!
Post # 13
I know how you feel. I took a lot of AP classes in high school, and most of my peers and friends wound up at Ivy leagues and are now in grad school or traveling the world or doing med school or something completely amazing.
I, on the other hand, went to a state school for my undergrad, and now have a cubicle job. I feel like such a disappointment compared to my friends, but when I say that they always tell me “are you kidding? you’re the one that’s got a job and is out of school and is getting married…”
The grass is always greener on the other side…so don’t worry about what other people are doing!
Post # 14
I know how you feel. I had good grades/AP courses through high school, had a lot of plans, and ended up working full time and going to state school part time, so it took me 5 years to get my B.A. Then, I went to law school. I LOVED the academics, but had a lot of issues with the school, and some personal issues, and decided to return home after the first year. Even though I know leaving that crackhead school was the right choice, it stings a bit when I see people younger than me graduating law school, and I can’t help but thinking “that should be me!”
It sounds like you made the right choice at the right time. It’s way easy to second guess, and to compare yourself to others. It’s easy to forget what else we’ve done for ourselves that might not reflect “on paper”.
Don’t beat yourself up, especially since you’re still going to school and working towards what you want.
Post # 15
I do the same thing to myself… look at ex’s facebook or ex’s girlfriend’s facebook and see something I don’t want to see…
But you can’t let that get you down! I’m sure your family, friends, and fiance are very proud of everything you’ve accomplished and you’re definitely on the right track! You’ll get there. 🙂
Post # 16
I know how you feel. But honestly, college can really, really take its toll on a person, especially if you are away from home and living without the support system of friends and family you are used to.
I go to school about 3,000 miles away from home. I have made acquaintances but no one I would consider a true friend (although I am admittedly a stricter user of the word than many people), and even though I have my FH who I love to DEATH, sometimes the stress of not having my family or my girl friends here to confide in really gets to me. Not to mention, I am from a small town and go to school in Philadelphia. Needless to say, the attitude of people here is just different. I am not used to rudeness, mean people, or crime, but unfortunately that is something that comes along with living in big cities. People are programmed to fight for themselves and worry about others later. Those kinds of things stress me out to no end. I can’t stand being around it. Anyway this is turning in to a rant so I’ll get to the point.
I dealt with it for 3 years, and the final straw happened when a man exposed himself to me on the subway. Call me naive, but to me that is something no woman should ever be forced to experience . I became completely panicked and paranoid every time I was out in public. I literally had a mental breakdown, was in and out of the doctor’s office and ER at least 10 times in a month with vomitting, severe GI problems (which led to IBS), migraines, and strange mystery illnesses (I was tested for everything from lyme disease to mono to hyperactive thyroid). I was a complete MESS. I was ready to move home.
Luckily my FH and family convinced me to finish it out. I have some great opportunities here and didn’t want to throw them away. That being said, I can totally understand leaving college to go back home. There is a reason college is onyl supposed to be 4 years, because it WEARS on you, especially if you are in a challenging program, which it sounds like you are if you want to go to pharm school. Honestly there is no amount of $$ that is worth your sanity or your happiness, and I know this first hand, so please do not regret your choices. Everyone’s circumstances are unique and it is unfair for anyone to judge you (or you to judge yourself) for the fact that you are taking longer to graduate than planned. Things come up. What matters is that you perservere and accomplish what is important to you.