Post # 1
I’ve been whining on various threads over the last week or so and finally got it together to put everything together in one post. At this moment, I hate my wedding. I get married in 10 days. I am so disappointed about everything after all the work I put into it.
I got engaged in March 2008. We could have swung a smallish wedding that next June. But I wanted a big wedding. My cousin had gotten married the previous year, I asked her about her numbers (150-160) and I assumed mine would be similar as we share the same family (we have a gigantic family) So we had a longggg engagement so that we could plan the big, beautiful wedding I dreamed of. We pinched every penny. We saved and saved and saved. We went all out and we’re paying for everything, including awesome out-of-town gifts, wedding party gifts, hair, makeup, nails, etc. Our venue is considered high-end in the area we’re having it.
As of this morning, we’ve had to beg our venue to lower the minimum to 120. We’re not even going to make that. We invited 200 people. I feel like everyone has said no. Close friends and family are not attending for reasons such as a weekend up at camp, helping a friend at the amatuer race track, etc. We sent save the dates, we sent invitations in a reasonable time frame, we got incredible hotel rates for the area. Many people saying “no” live 15 minutes away. Others own boats and expensive cars (meaning its not a money issue) Many told me over and over that they wouldn’t miss the wedding for anything.
I’m just devastated. I feel the beautiful venue I spent years saving for will look empty. I’m afraid people will be bored. I’m heartbroken that family members that I considered so close to me would miss this day for BS reasons. I understand that my wedding is not as important to everyone as it is to me, but I don’t feel I’m asking for much. Just for them to come to my wedding just like they have to weddings of other family members.
Everyone keeps telling me that those people who want to will be there. I understand that…but why don’t the other people want to be there? In my family/friends, weddings are a big blowout party and that’s what I’ve worked so hard towards. I just feel like I’m bracing myself for a total FAIL of a wedding.
Post # 3
🙁 That is annoying that not a lot of people can attend. Especially if you feel like they didn’t care enough to make plans. Your wedding will not be a FAIL! You are still marrying the man you love, and it sounds beautiful. I bet those guests that aren’t going to make it will be bummed after seeing the pics and hearing about it from those who did attend.
Post # 4
Maybe because you and your Fiance are too much awesome for them, that they are blown away by it!!!
No but seriously i have no idea why and it totally sucks and I would be COMPLETELY irritated and pissy about why people wouldn’t want to come to my kick ass party. Not even just people–FAMILY. CLOSE family. Who live a few blocks away.
Your wedding won’t be a failure; it’ll still be fantastic.
Post # 5
Your day will still be beautiful and make the most of it with the people that are in attendance. I know its hurtful for others not to consider your day as you would. Smile and keep it moving because you still have 120 people that will be cheering you on as you come down that isle!
Post # 6
I’m so sorry. I *sorta* know what you’re going through, even though my wedding is on the “smaller” side. We’ve had a long engagement as well and have told EVERYONE about the date as soon as we set it (well over a year ago) and as far as I know both my SISTERS aren’t coming. I understand that the economy isn’t awesome, but they’ve know about this for SOOOO long now.
Anyway, sorry to over take your vent with my own. (((hugs))) I’m sure it’ll still be beautiful. Try not to focus on the people that aren’t there and focus on the ones that ARE.
Post # 7
I’m having a similar situation. We got 50% acceptance rate. Lots of family aren’t coming – some too far away, too expensive etc. We’re totally being screwd by our hotel block – we’ll probably end up owning money! Just try to be happy with who’s there!
Post # 8
It does hurt when people you thought would be there for you back out – we had a few of those as well and it sucks (even more than I thought it would). But 120 is still a pretty big crowd and it will still be beautiful. You worked hard for this, so don’t let those other people bring down your day!
Post # 9
Try not to stress (although I completely understand what you’re feeling – a part of me is sad everytime we get a “No” RSVP (even though we need some to make numbers) – I can’t imagine if they were from family and people I felt really close to)! Your wedding will still be beautiful, you’ll still have a great time with those in attendance, and at the end of the day, you’ll be married to the love of your life!
Post # 10
Just to try to post something a little different to “try to be happy about it”, I would say that if you have a close relationship with your parents send them out to talk to some of your relatives. I have my mom doing a lot of my dirty work for this wedding–“no you can wear white!” “don’t bring your kids” “she needs money not a vacum cleaner” etc. Just a thought.
Post # 11
Awwwww ((hugs)). Seriously, your wedding will not be a FAIL– the only way that will happen is if you continue to let it get to you.
It sucks that people are giving you lame excuses (I got some of those too, and it totally annoyed me), but 120 people is a great sized wedding! It will definitely be a big party! Just remember that YOU need to have fun, because your guests will reciprocate your attitude/behavior that night. Don’t be down… you’re getting married in 10 days!!! YAY! 🙂
Post # 12
Ah, i can understand how you’re feeling. I had some pretty close people back out really close to the wedding (my brother the day before! surprise!) and I felt crushed. However! So much went into it, you’ve dotted your i’s, crossed your t’s – you can relax on your wedding day and enjoy it and i’ll tell you, with all of the stuff going on and the people that ARE there, you will not think about those who are not. And when they see your awesome pictures you can rub it in their faces! haha
Post # 13
I’m so sorry, it does suck that people are going to miss a great party. We had 120 people and I thought it was the perfect amount. Got to talk to everyone and a lot of people mingled and met each other, it turned out really nice. But you know what, my hub and I closed out the dance floor together and had a great time even when almost everyone had left. I was dissapointed in a few friends that left earlier than I would have liked but honestly, you’re 10 days out, you’re at the point where you just have to have a small pity party (no wedding day pity parties though) and then say whatever, we’re still going to have the best freaking time and make all those who said ‘no’ wish they would have come. Their loss and not much you can do about it at this time except not let them drag you down.
Post # 14
Hugs to you. Your wedding will be awesome!
I’ve decided part of the reason weddings are so stressful is because we have expectations for everyone. We expect our friends to act like friends (and be there for us). We expect our family to come to the wedding (just like we’ve done for every random cousin over the years). And sometimes people dissapoint us. They prioritize other things ahead of coming to our wedding and it hurts. And our only option is to suck it up and move on.
Don’t focus on what isn’t going the way you want. Focus on what is going well. You have a fantastic Fiance and a beautiful dress. And wonderful parents and a beautiful venue. Focus on these things and feel blessed you are getting married.
Post # 15
That stinks. We invited 183 and I think we might have had 102, counting us. We lost several people last minute due to swine flu or something else going around. My brother-in-law, MOH’s husband, almost didn’t make and in fact missed the rehersal dinner. I think it being Halloween screwed us over. Do you have friends who could come last minute that you had to cut originally for family obligations, that wouldn’t mind be informed that hey I have space at my wedding now for friends, now that some many family guests that I was obligated to invite aren’t going to show.
Post # 16
The same thing is happening to me. I think we invited 240ish. The RSVPs were due yesterday, I have about 50 missing and so far, we only have 85 people coming. My co-worker actually “complained” to me that he can’t commit to my wedding, which is almost a month away and that he might be on vacation. wtf? We sent out save the dates to everyone and so they had more than enough time to plan. People can be so rude. But, I’m sure all I’ll be thinking about is my new and shiny husband on the day of our wedding. 🙂 I hope you cheer up.