Planned a childfree wedding and people still bring their kids?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Don’t let them walk over you. Call them and say, “I’m so sorry for any confusion; the invitation was just for the two of you. We hope you’re still able to come.”

Post # 3
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

MoonlitMagnolia:  Good answer!

I wrote a reply of “unfortunately we aren’t able to accomodate children at the wedding. we really hope you’ll still be able to come, but please let us know” to my FH’s cousin. Still haven’t heard back from them, but we’ll see how it goes. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

Shockolate:  ugh, it suck that your FH “allowed” one. We have said breastfeeding babies, sure – not toddlers, or older – but once you let one come, it’s hard to say no to others. 

Post # 7
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Shockolate:  Put your foot down. 9 times out of 10 people who want to bring their babies to weddings purely want to show them off and dress them up in cute outfits as you say. We let DH’s nieces and nephew attend our ceremony (we were not asked, it was assumed they would come by the parents) but we made it politely clear that they would not be able to stay for the reception, with the exception of the new born who was still on the boob of course. They were fine with this and it is generally the accepted practice at most weddings we attend. Family kids at the ceremony but they do not stay for the late night reception. Could you reach this sort of compromise with your guests?

Post # 9
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Shockolate:  I am a little unsure about the details from your post. Are you having a childfree wedding or are you just not inviting everyones kids but the 7 and 10 year old nieces?

If no kids are invited then you and your FI need to get on the same page and reinforce that no kids are invited.

If you are inviting some kids but not others then you are not having a childfree wedding and you will hurt peoples feelings by making them feel like you dislike their children. Also how are you going to explain that one siblings children are invited but other siblings children are not. That is really rude and will cause a family rift.

Post # 10
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Shockolate:  So you’re inviting FI’s nieces (aged 7 and 10), but not his 3 year old nephew? I’m sorry to say that was a bad move. It really seems like favouritism to allow one sibling’s kids but not another, when they are equally closely related.

I agree that you should put your foot down for other kids (e.g. cousins’ kids and friends’ kids), because they are not as close to you. It’s ok to allow nieces + nephews, and not close less close children.

But I think you should compromise and allow your nephew, since you have already allowed your nieces. 

Post # 11
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Shockolate:  Think of it this way…at least they told you in advance (so you have the opportunity to do something about it) as opposed to them just showing up with their “bundles of joy” lol

I can totally relate to you. FI and I are very adamant about having a child-free wedding, with the exception of immediate family. So that means my Goddaughter and his 2 neices and 2 nephews (one breastfeeding). Otherwise, the only young people invited will at least be in the 18-22 age range. You don’t have to justify your guest list. It’s YOUR wedding. 😉

Post # 12
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

It frustrates me that there rudeness is paying off. It’s teaching them that in the future they can continue this behavior and get there way. Maybe you tell them not to come over on Sunday beacause you want alone time, and they agree. The next thing you know, they send you a picture of a cake they are bringing over Sunday. WTHeck? <br />This irritates me so much. <br />Clearly I have a pet peeve. 

Post # 13
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I personally wouldn’t have made any exceptions, because it makes it harder to explain that you are having a child free wedding.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  .
Post # 15
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This probably isn’t going to be a popular comment, but I have no problem with a close relative (like a sister) bringing a baby to show him off. After all, all her relatives are going to be there. Some brides seem to think that guests’ attention will be 100% on them, but the reality is that guests spend lots of time catching up with each other, so why not show off the baby? That’s what my sister in law did at my wedding, and I did at my sister’s wedding – though in both cases the babies were invited – without detracting from the day at all. So long as the mother can be trusted to take him out if he gets loud, I don’t see any downside.

If the music’s too loud for a baby, then it’s probably too loud for half the guests as well.

I guess what I’m saying is this might not be a battle worth fighting.

I completely agree on no other children though, like the cousin’s child.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors