Post # 1
I am SO EXCITED to be 36 days away from my wedding ahhhhhhhhh! Since FI and I are having a planned elopement (we are going to Hawaii by ourselves, no friends or family, getting married and honeymooning there) there is a sticky situation about a registry. We want to register mostly because even if you dont have people buying you presents, you can still get a % off those items on your list. (Hellloooooo Kitchen Aid mixer!)
I am in the process of setting up a wedding site at The Knot to sort of give people some details about what we are doing, why we are doing it, along with background of our story together, etc. Some people have been asking us about where we are registered, but I’m REALLY hesitant to put this info on the site because I don’t want to seem gift-grabby. We are likely not going to have a reception back at home (otherwise, why elope?) which is probably a situation in which people would get us presents. Its mostly people who’s weddings/baby showers we have attanded and given presents and they want to return the favor. FI says we can word this in a way that doesn’t sound grabby and put it on the site in case other people are feeling generous as well.
Do you bees have any suggestions for wording our registry in such a way that says soemthing like…”Please under no circumstance should you feel obligated to get us anything, however if you feel you must, we are registered at Macy’s.”???
Post # 3
@1stRosie: If they aren’t invited to your wedding, then they shouldn’t be given registry information. I completely understand about getting the discount off of registry items, so I suggest making a registry but not telling anyone about it. That way you can still use it and aren’t asking people to give you gifts for an event they didn’t attend.
I’d say the only way it would be okay is if you are hosting a local reception when you get back. We are eloping and expect no gifts nor would we think to ask for any. We have registered to get the discount though (but don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret). I’m sure your parents will still get you something but I wouldn’t risk being rude and asking.
Post # 4
TBH I wouldn’t put it on the website at all. If someone asked I would tell them but I wouldn’t put it up on the website if I were eloping. How are people going to find out about your website?
Post # 5
Ummmm yea! You shouldn’t ask uninvited people to get you a gift
Post # 6
Yeah, it’s fine to make a registry for yourself but not okay to disperse that information out for others to get you gifts.
Post # 7
If you are eloping people shouldn’t be buying you gifts so do not give out registry information. Will the store not find it suspicious that you register, no one buys anything from it, and then you come in to buy everything at a discount?
Post # 8
You shouldn’t put this information out there, you’re just asking them to get you a gift for you going on vacation and getting married. If someone asks anyone if you did register, because they want to get you a gift, then they can be given the registry info via word of mouth.
Saying “don’t get us a gift but we’re registered at macys”, isn’t any better than say “I’m sorry I did that but you deserved it” or any other oxy moron.
Post # 9
+100 to everyone.
You shouldn’t be having a registry if you aren’t inviting guests to your wedding.
Post # 10
Ahhh so glad you guys are saying this! I feel totally uncomfortable saying it on the site– FI thinks its okay but I was truly looking for a way out and now I have proof!
I think its safe if we say to people who ask us directly that we are registered at X place, but not to volunteer the info, correct?
Post # 11
@pixiecat: I heard people doing this before who have eloped. In all honesty, I think the stores just want you to buy their stuff and the discount isnt overwhelming– its like ten percent. every little bit helps me though, and the store just wants to push their products.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
I understand where you’re coming from if people are already asking.
I would say something like…
We are chosing to elope and in the same regard as if we were to have a wedding, there is no expectation for anyone to purchase gifts.
Some close family members have asked us where we have registered, and as a result we have created a small registry at X.
I don’t know if I would put that on your site… but maybe when people ask you can say it like that.
Post # 13
@MrsBeck: I figure we will post it on Facebook or something? Havent totally thought that through, hah. It’s just people have been asking us about our wedding and we figured it would be nice to have a centralized destination for information about us, our story, our proposal etc. including a gallery of pictures that can be updated with wedding pics.
Post # 14
Are you having a party when you get home? That’s what we’re doing and my mom is insisting that we register somewhere “just because”. If we weren’t having a party, then we sure as hell wouldn’t be registering.
Post # 15
Don’t post it on facebook. If people want to know, they will ask.
Post # 16
@1stRosie: Personally, I wouldn’t put registry information on the site paticularly in light of the fact that you’re eloping. If people want to know, they’ll ask or just google it.
If you do put it on, don’t fall all over yourself declaring no one should feel obligated to get you anything – it comes across as insincere. Just put up a link to the spite as discreetly as possible.