Post # 1
Sounds dramatic? i’ll try to keep it simple
Last Oct, i regrettably had to call off my wedding which was scheduled for the end of March. Call off as in, STD’s were sent out, custom wedding dress was being made and many deposits were put down. Ouch. It sucked. We ‘indefinitely postponed’ our marriage due to personal reasons but we remained together. The business of calling off a huge 200 friends and family wedding deserves its own post, really.
Now many months later, we are still together, still living together, and we work(ed) hard at correcting the things that were becoming problems. Honestly – i think we are even better than before. We still want to get married.
I’m trying to decide the best way to proceed with this. It was terribly embarrassing to call off the wedding the first time and i would like to maintain a bit of dignity with organizing the second instalment. There is just no way i can hold the exact same wedding i was planning! I had the ladies of the family collecting tea cups, for god sake!
Thoughts? If you were in this situation what would you do? Elope? Small 10 person affair?
Post # 3
I would go on with the wedding. Its your wedding who care if you made an adult decision to postpone it in the first place? You had things that needed worked out. Everyone may just think it was something financial since you two are still together.
Post # 4
I think it commendable that your FI and you took the time to really work on your future marriage, even if it came with the embarrasment of calling off the wedding. It’s understandable that you maybe don’t want to elope or have a super small wedding – after all, it’s not like your dreams for the wedding changed when you’re relationship did! I don’t really know what you tell you, but I think what I would do is to only invite the guests who are really important to you and understand the situation, instead of all 200. That way you know the people there understand why it was postponed and support you and FI.
Best of luck!
Post # 5
If it was me, I would probably just do a small, intimate affair.
Post # 6
I would still have the wedding for sure!
Infact I commend you for postponing it, knowing that you needed to!… and your friends and family should be suppoertive of that too. (no matter what they think the reason was)
Enjoy your planning!
Post # 7
Still plan whatever kind of wedding you want! The fact that you and your FI needed some extra time to work on your relationship doesn’t mean that you are now relegated to having a specific kind of wedding. If you still want the 200 person event, have the 200 person event!
Post # 8
I also commend you for postponing it and working on your relationship. But, if it were me, I would probably do something very intimate or elope. However, You and your FI are the only ones that can make that decision and go with what you feel is right for the two of you. Good Luck!
Post # 9
I don’t think i could go ahead with the original idea of the wedding. In fact, now that i have this perspective, some of the things i was planning seem a little silly and unnecessary.
I’m in no rush with planning, so thats good!
Thanks for the responses.
Post # 10
You did the right thing – You waited until you were really ready, instead of getting married when things were rocky and winding up divorced or something. Go with the event you had planned 😀 you postponed it, you didn’t cancel it…
Post # 11
I commend you too for making such a responsible decision. I’m sure eveyone knows you guys worked on it and are ready to celebrate with you guys. I’d say its smart to keep it not as elaborate as you planned, but enough to make eveyone feel like its a wedding and they are there to celebrate. If you are getting financial family support and you lost money from the original deposits, they will probably think its respectful to not go all out too.
Post # 12
Well, I don’t know if I would want to give up that dream… if that was your dream. Of having all my family and friends around me. You can go to the courthouse with intimates and have a civil ceremony and then have a blowout party afterwards.
Post # 13
I don’t think you should feel embarrased about getting married this time around.
The same thing happened to my friend. A few months before the wedding, they called it off. They worked out their issues and rescheduled the wedding a little less than a year later. It was a big, wonderful wedding, and nobody thought it was strange that they didn’t scale back their plans. In fact, we were overjoyed that they were getting married!
Have the wedding you want. The people who care about you want to celebrate.
Post # 14
I’m leaning towards a surprise dinner ceremony for immediate family and besties.
with or without vintage tea cups … 😛
Post # 15
Hey there are some times where you have to say “who cares what everyone else thinks” and this is one of those times.
Just because you and your FI were smart about not jumping into a marriage when you weren’t ready doesn’t mean that now you have to change your inital plans for the environement that you want for your wedding. Have your wedding however you want, and don’t let this past decision give you any hesitations.
Post # 16
@Mollytov: I think it was really adult of you, and I’m sure extremely emotionally trying, to work on your personal relationship issues before you moved on with the wedding. If I were in your shoes I think a surprise affair for a few select guests would be a great idea! Also, maybe a small 10 person wedding as previously advocated by other bee’s. If I were in your shoes, however, I think I would do a surprise wedding/dinner with the intimate group whom you deeply care for and understands your situation and motives for postponing the previous wedding. Also, a surprise wedding will greatly cut costs, as it seems that you lost quite a bit of money securing things for the previously planned ceremony.
Best of Luck!