Post # 1
I would so appreciate any wisdom from bees who have done this because it’s looking like an insurmountable task to me right now.
FI is from Australia, I’m from the US and we are planning to marry in early 2014, in the US. We will be spending the majority of planning time apart (sighhh)…I just don’t know how to do this 🙁
I’m with him now but will be heading home in about 4 weeks time which is killing me but I’m going to busy myself with looking at venues. When he comes to visit for Xmas, we are hopefully going to book a place for the wedding.
BUT…then he goes home again and we’re apart months at a time. How do you plan? Obviously he can sort his groomsmen stuff and I can do my BMs, dress, etc…and I’m assuming with the help of email and skype some things will be easier (flowers, decorations, invites)…..but what about the bigger things? Bands vs DJs? Food tasting? Cake ordering??
We can’t do these important things together and it’s making me so sad. I want him to have a say in everything, and I know he wants to be as involved as possible too, but I can’t imagine how he can take part from so far away..
Please help, I’m bringing myself down 🙁
Post # 3
I don’t have much advice, because I haven’t been in this situation, but I would recommend taking someone whose opinion you both trust with you when you go do cake tasting/food tasting, etc. The band/dj thing will be harder, but you can try to get clips of the music or whatever and have your FI listen to it, too. I think Miss Bracelet is going through something similar right now, so you could check out her blogging posts for advice.
Post # 4
I planned our California weedding while I was in Canada and DH was deployed to the pacific. It was fun.
He just deferred to my decision on a lot of things, but a wedding planner in our location helped immensely. As far as cake tastings, etc I would just do it yourself with a mom or friend or something. Not much else you can do.
You can take pictures of options and send them to him, but not everything can be dealt with like that. You just have to make the best of it.
Post # 5
Yikes, we’re not nearly so far, but I can relate. I live in NY and my FI lives in MI most of the year (although he’s been in GA since May). It definitely somewhat complicates things. There was a week in March he was home where we booked the venue, catering, and photographers. Another week when he was here we did our engagement pictures. Basically we try to squeeze in as much wedding stuff as we can into a short span. We’ve got most of the major stuff out of the way now. And on his next visit, we get to register!
Things he doesn’t care about, flowers, decorations, invitations, the hotel, I’m making decisions pretty much myself. I’ll ask if he has an opinion on it, if he does I email him the options and we talk it over. With all the technology available, it’s super easy to communicate and share ideas.
One thing that’s helped is making to do lists. In May, I made lists of all the things I want each of us to have done by the time he’s here next (in about a month), they’re not particularly time consuming tasks, but things that need to be done and things he can enjoy (deciding on his bridal party, finding bakeries, getting names and addresses for his friends). I like sending him my list too so he sees I’m working just as hard, and it helps keep us both accountable.
It’s not easy, but it’s also not that hard. I was intimidated when we started, but make lists, lots and lots of lists, and you’ll be fine.
Also, if you ever want to sit at home and work on projects on a Friday night while drinking a bottle of wine and watching a SYTTD marathon, there’s no one there to judge you.