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So, we have been married for almost a year now and had planned on starting TTC in September/October this year. On a whim yesterday DH suggested we try this month (EEEEK!) If we are successful that changes our expected due date from late June/July to late December --when it will be freezing outside! What is everyone's consensus for best time of year to plan for baby's arrival?
I thought I was the only ne that wanted to plan the time my baby was born lol I want to have mine May/June.
honestly, I wouldn't worry about that at all babies will come when they come!
I live in TX, and mine is coming 8/30. Is that "ideal"? Probably not, especially with 9/1 being the school cut off, and TX HEAT, but he or she will still be a major blessing.
Plus, if you wait to TTC until the "ideal time", then you might be even MORE disappointed if it doesn't happen right away, which can be hard enough as is.
With that being said, you have to take into consideration your lifestyle. When would it be easiest to miss work? What activities (walks outside, etc) do you see yourself doing with baby? What is the climate in your area? If you can't take much maternity, would maternity near holidays work out better (paid days off)?
I don't want to imply you aren't taking it seriously, but does 'on a whim' made me nervous....Does mean you already have your finances, pre-conception visit, prenatal vitamins for months, etc. in order?
How exciting!
Okay so I do not have kids, not TTC for a year or so... BUT... BFF and other Mom-of-2 friend and I just had this discussion. Mom-of-2 had both her girls the end of October. She said it was hard being on maternity leave and staying home for the winter months with them as babies. She did say it'd be nice to be on maternity leave when it was warmer, easier to take them out and nicer weather. She said she didn't leave the house much. But I imagine with the first one, they're lots of work anyway :)
No matter when they arrive, it'll be a blessing and you'll make it work, but figured I'd share that from this weekend since you mentioned it.
Yeah, my friend had her baby in January and was bummed that she had to stay cooped up inside because of the snow.
When we are ready, I hope to have it between April and September. Plus, I live in Seattle, where it rains from October to March. But then again, if we start having problems conceiving then, I'll take any month.
Wow those are all really great points. I know that it might not happen for us right away and am fully preparing myself for that possibility which is why we aren't telling anyone in real life. We have pretty cold/snowy winters and hot summers so it would be uncomfortable to be huge in summer months, but maybe scary to be close to winter for delivering a baby...what if I get snowed in and can't make it to the hospital? I have actually been taking a multi-vitamin with folic acid for 2.5 months, am overall healthy at a healthy weight, and have one medicine that I have been told to stop taking if I were to suspect a pregnancy. Any other reason why I would need a preconception visit? Originally we had planned to wait because we were thinking of taking a trip this fall that would involve drinking but it's currently looking like it's cancelled...
pregnant women always say that they're hot, so i'd rather be at my most pregnant when it's cold outside. (if i got to pick). i'm in fl so i don't have to deal with snow though.
Of course if we waited, and didn't get pregnant right away this fall it could get pushed even further into summer and that would mean more months in the worse heat of summer. I have a really long walk from my car to the building where I work which would be quite uncomfortable 35 pounds heavier I would imagine. Ultimately I guess it's silly to worry about since I have little control.
ha. My husband thought I was silly thinking like this. But I have them ranked.
1st Choice: mar/apr/may
2nd Choice: feb/sept/oct
3rd Choice: june/july/aug
4th Choice: nov/dec/jan
It's easiest to work backwardswith my reasoning. Trying to avoid a Christmas/holiday baby. Mainly so the baby/child doesn't have to share their special day - but also because I am so stressed around the holidays the idea of also trying to put together a birthday party is not something I want to add to the list :)
That's really the biggest deal for me... the others I don't feel as strongly about.
june/july/aug get 3rd because it's summer. Not in school to celebrate birthday's with friends. Plus possibility of birthday over lapping with summer vacations plans. Also usually end of being youngest in class. Everyone else is 13 before them. Again - not really a HUGE deal :) Plus I guess the being preggo all summer.. but I'm starting to think that won't be so bad.
Mar/Apr/May I think just qualify as my fav time of year... so those get first. Plus if we miss the mark there's still plenty of time to try and avoid my dreaded 4th choice. Ha.
The others get 2nd by default.
Like others say though. Babies will come when they come. There's no magic sauce to make this all line up. Even if you have a Feb due date - the baby may come in Dec :)
I was aiming for March and ended up with August. I'm actually excited about being pregnant in the summer. I love summery dresses and I'm sure they'll be super comfy! I did just think about swolen feet and flips flops the other day... no way to hide any swelling if that happens. Oh well. I'm just excited to meet this little one in a couple months!
And - I'm already planning for our second round of TTC to aim for a Mar/Apr/May 2012 baby. ha. Yes I'm silly and like to plan.
PS I know all my reasoning is silly - but it was my thought process!
From personal experience, I think it is somewhat important to take your schools' cut off date into consideration (something I never thought about when conceiving). My daughter is the youngest in her class, just barely making the cut off. She had JUST turned 5 when starting kindergarten, when some of the kids were nearly a full year older and a lot bigger. I think next time I will try to have the baby not so close to the cutoff to give them more time to mature and be ready for school. Just my opinion!
The friends and family that I have spoken to about this, have generally said try to get pregnant around September/October (like you had originally planned). Their reasoning was because they thought being prego in the summer was brutal!
For me, right now would be ideal.. well, minus the whole, not married yet part. I would really like late nov/dec/early Jan. Both FI and I are mid Jan babies so maybe that will help, lol.
Basically, I can't afford to give birth in the middle of wedding season, financially it would be really hard to loose my income.
I actually have been thinking about this a lot (not planning on TTC for 5 years after the wedding lol), but I know that I don't want to be all cooped up inside and I don't like the idea of trying to drive on slick roads/walk around with a newborn and yet I don't want to have the wee one during the summer, because that's THE busy season, so it just depends on how it works out. We'll probably try for sometime in March/April so that it's early enough not to interfere with my work or my FI's, but late enough that I won't spend everyday inside and freezing my butt off.
Statistically speaking... 85% of couples trying to conceive will get pregnant within 1 year. However, the average time it takes to actually conceive is 6 months. Although it's fun to hope to conceive right away and have your baby a specific month, just keep in mind that it on average, it takes a while!
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=51710
I don't really have feelings on best time of year, but I do want our children to be spaced out. So my first was born in February (very cold here!!!!!) by accident, so no planning which month. With our next though, we would like to have him/her more in the summer to space them out. I think anytime of year has its pros and cons. Good luck!!!!
I'd like a August or September. I used to not want to be pregnant in the summer, being in Georgia and all, but all these cute flowy dresses make me want to. I won't have to worry about a wardrobe for my biggest months since I'll be off from work June and July. I'd also kinda like a May baby.
I dont really have a preference, but ideally Id like to TTC so it wouldnt put the birth in October-January. I have 3 nieces that were born in October/November and another neice or nephew that will be born in late November coupled with my FIL's bday in December and the holidays! I would love to have my baby sometime during the spring or summer :)
one thing some OBs do @ your preconception visit is make sure you are still immune to certain diseases....even if you had the immunization as a kid, you may not be any longer, and they would recommend you get vaccinated before you TTC. The finances and the nutrition/vitamins I think are bigger issues, though, so it sounds like you are set on those.
We have so many spring/early summer birthdays I think it'd be kinder to aim for fall or early winter! haha.
I really want to avoid a December baby. I'd also like to avoid a Fall baby because of School cutoffs. August also would be kind of bad because we have an overload of birthdays and anniversaries in that month.
I think its personal preference. What part of the country are you in? Do you want to be worried about your baby being too cold if you are near snow or if you want a baby in the summer are you in Texas where it would be sooo hot? I'm from Dallas and a lot of people I know try to avoid being at the end of their pregnancy in the summer because the heat is so bad/miserable.
I second those who mention school cut-off dates. Being uncomfortable for a few months during pregnancy or "stuck inside" with young babies is a minimal sacrifice compared to what could be the issue with babies born near cut-off dates and therefore being the youngest and potentially developmentally behind her classmates for years.
I have an August baby and a December baby, both were within a week of when their intended due date (they were pokey, didn't want to join us, I guess). I'm a teacher, August was good because I started the school year late, then had Thanksgiving break and winter break. December was good because I had winter break in the middle of my leave (reducing the number of "sick" days I had to use). Having a winter baby didn't interfere with us getting out--he was bundled up and carried along (once he was a few weeks old), but then, second babies do get treated differently. December baby also spent his first 3 months in a sleep sack, snowsuit, and or snugglie. August baby was a looonng summer with no air conditioning, but it was starting to cool off when she was born so it was more comfy for her. She was not happy when winter came and she had to sleep in the sleep sack! Whenever your babies are born, you'll figure it out! Good luck! :)
@heathah: LOL!
As a very preggie bee, I would say if you can be your most pregnant when it's cold outside do that. Because it SUCKS to be so preggo AND hot!! You're already warmer than normal, so winter preggie is comfie, plus spring babies get the best birthday parties, LOL. Because they know all the kids at school already. ;-)
As a pediatrician, I really didn't want a baby that would be born in the winter. Too much risk for RSV and other respiratory illnesses in a young and vulnerable infant. We were shooting for a spring/summer baby :)
I'm a March baby and I love it! (except knowing at least 10 people either with my bday or within a week of it). I'd like to aim for a March/April/May baby but who knows, I'm at least 5 years from TTC!
With school cut-off dates it really just depends where you live. In CA the cut-off is in December. So those who are born October-December have a choice to be on the younger or older side. Most people I know ended up starting early so they were on the younger side. My best friend and ex-bf were a year apart but still in the same grade because they are October babies! When I was in school in AZ the cut-off was the first day of school (end of August) so those born in September-December were always the older ones :)
I'm not planning on TTC for a looong time, but I just wanted to comment on the school cut-offs that everyone's been mentioning.
In NYC our school cut-off was December 31. I'm a November baby, and a lot of my friends in elementary school were born in January. Personally, I never really noticed much of difference. I was a lot smaller than most of my classmates, but I'm just a small person in general. Developmentally, we were all pretty much on the same page. In fact, the whole age difference never bothered until I was in college and all of my friends turned 21 almost a year before I did, but really, thats no big deal.
When I do have a baby, I was thinking it would be nice for him or her to born towards the end of June. I'm currently studying to be a high school teacher so it would be nice if the birth of my baby coincided with summer vacation.
End of May or June. Very specific, I know, but as acedemics, I'd rather be pregnant while school is in session, then have the kid right after school lets out- that way I'd have all summer to spend with the baby and my FI would be home with us too.
My hubby laughs at me when I tell him this, but I always tell him I want to try to aim to give birth sometime between April - September. I don't want a winter baby since there's so many more illnesses going around that time of year, so I don't want my newborn baby sick. My other reason is because I have no clue how we would be able to host birthday parties for our huge families in our not so huge house if our kids were born in the winter months. I couldn't imagine what we would do if it was too cold to not use our backyard for parties, lol.
I honestly didn't really have a preference about when to have the baby but the hubs wants Summer babies, so guess who won that one, lol? From what I have heard from other preggie women, they all suggested being preggie during the winter because the Summer can be too hot and more uncomfy.
I know I hated being cooped up in the winter especially with the kind of winter we had here in PA. It snowed so much, all I could think about was hoping not to fall. I do love the Summer but it is much different to be preggie in the Summer. I think I will try to be near an air conditioner until our DD arrives.
Ideally I would love to have baby during the summer or early fall months. I just think in the future for their birthdays it'll be so much easier for birthday parties! hahah.
All my niece and nephews birthdays are in the dead of winter right near the holidays. It makes it so hard to plan birthday parties because your options are not as vast as nicer weather birthdays!
For some reason, I've always had visions of great summer outdoor birthday parties in our backyard. Crazy I know.
But honestly, we're not planning conception around any month. We'll just thank the powers that be when I'm pregnant!
@Lillindy,
Glad I'm not the only one! Haha
I always thought I would plan to have my babies around my work (school) schedule... Have the baby over Summer vacation and be ready to go back in the fall... I learned really quickly babies just happen when they happen and my planning meant nothing...
After at least 12 months of TTC, I got pregnant in March and my son was born in Nov. I was pregnant through the hottest part of the Texas heat, in a record breaking year of heat waves... It was 112 degrees one day... I lived on snow cones and in my mom's pool.
I don't think that trying to plan it down to the month is bad - just don't let yourself be heartbroken if things don't go according to plan.
Well, we decided to "go for it" this month. We'll see what happens. My biggest concerns with a late December due date like a few people have mentioned are having the baby so close to Christmas and having a young infant during the colder months. But I work for a university and we get a week off during Christmas break so that would be one less week of vacation I days I would need to take if it worked out that way. The cut off date in my state is Aug 31st so I assume our baby would be one of the older kids in their class. We also know that it doesn't always happen on the first try so we could be trying for a few months - which wouldn't be so bad if it it pushed the due date even to March/April, really. Although, I've been charting so I hope it doesn't take that long! I'll let you guys know in a couple of weeks :)
One other thought about 'when' to be preggers. I'm due in August... which means the bulk of my morning sickness/tiredness of the 1st trimester happened in Dec/Jan. Christmas almost didn't happen. It sucked to be so sick during all the holiday events and parties. Thank goodness I had been semi prepared with shopping. My mom came down and helped me finish up some gifts and wrap two days before Christmas.
I'm not sure the 1st tri is ever fun for those of us with extreme symptoms.. but it doubly sucked to have it fall during the holidays :)
I campaigned heavily to have this baby in November or December for a few reasons, based on my previous experience.
@Miss Starlet - Haha! The onion totally wins for the best reason!
I think J and I decided that a spring baby would be ideal for us. I would really prefer not to be pregnant during the heat of summer. If we were still going skiing as much as we used to that would change everything but since we only get up there a couple times a year now it I wouldn't really be missing all that much. (Famous last words, I'm sure.)
Don't you just love "planning" things you have very little control over? :-D
I am not planning on having kids anytime soon, but thought I would offer my opinion on the whole August birthday, youngest kid in school discussion.
My birthday is August 24th. In general I have always liked my birthday because for most of my birthdays I was still on summer vacation. I also enjoyed having BBQ birthday parties, swimming party birthday parties etc...
Now the bad part. I was always the youngest in school. I am also definately more introverted personality wise so it was always tough for me to be the youngest and make friends. I also had to go through occupational therapy in elementary school because my handwritting was so bad. School specialists basically thought that my fine motor skills were behind because I was young for my grade.
I think the suckiest summer of my life was the summer before I turned 21! All of my friends had already turned 21 and so the social scene had shifted to hanging out at bars on weekends. Well, not me, I was still too young! Guess I should have gotten over my hesitations and bought a fake ID! I am still the youngest everywhere. Even the intern in my office is older than me!
I will probable avoid a late summer due date based on my experiences although I know I will feel so blessed to have a baby no matter what date it makes its debut!
I was hoping for a late spring baby, but travel and life got in the way and I wasn't going to stop trying fora few months to time it so an August baby and summer pregnancy for me! I think its fine to think of an ideal time - but be flexible because for a lot of people it takes more than a couple months to get preggers, and you are so excited when you do you aren't too worried about the timing!
jaylii - my birthday is august 24 too :)
My folks actually started me in private school because my bday was after the cutoff dates on the east coast at the time. So I was still the youngest, but did absolutely fine, and probably would have skipped a grade if they had waited to enroll me and I'd been the oldest in my class. When you're young, it's always tough to be the smallest OR the biggest in your class, and when you're older it is tough to be the last to get your driver's license, drink, etc. But every kid has their 'different thing' and often age doesn't really change whatever it is.
I have a lot of the same reasons as Miss Starlet for hoping to deliver in the winter (keeping my fingers crossed), but since it's our first time around, I feel like we have very little control over the situation! It'll happen when it happens.
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