Post # 1
Hi everyone – just wondering if I’m getting ahead of myself here…
We got engaged the first week of May and live in Ireland (where he’s from and where we met). I’m home in Connecticut for May and June and thinking I should probably get a jump on planning since it will be a hassle once I get back to Ireland. As of right now we’re planning for April 2010 because FI will be overseas from Sept-Jan.
I’ve started dress shopping but don’t feel particularly pressured. In truth I’m somewhat concerned that if I pick and buy a dress now I will change my mind down the line and complicate things.
I’ve booked the church but it’s pretty simple because it’s the parish where I grew up and basically know everyone so it’s no big deal to get access to it and it’s the most important part of the planning (now that I have my wonderful groom!) so it came first.
I’ve put a hold on a hall which is not in high demand – it’s a social club my family has belonged to forever and where both my parents (1968) and my sister and brother-in-law (1999) had their receptions. It’s basic but I think would do the job nicely.
I’ve just started contacting caterers to see what to expect budget-wise and I was thinking of contacting florists to get an idea of the same.
I haven’t decided on the bridesmaid situation although I have a tentative idea about colors/styles of bridesmaid dresses…which will then dictate to some extent the flowers for the ceremony & reception/decor of the reception.
I think part of my ‘wondering’ is that I always anticipated a quick engagement – like 4-6 months and "let’s go!!!" kinda thing! I think all this time between now and April 2010 is going to make me crazy! I just want to start my marriage with this great man and do it surrounded by the people we love…
Am I getting ahead of myself? Or am I behind? Or am I where it makes sense to be after being engaged for 4 weeks and facing several months of long-distance planning?
I’d love to know what others think about the approach to timing the planning process.
Post # 3
I don’t think there’s such a thing as too soon – especially once you’re past the one-year mark! Definitely get the venues out of the way, that’s just smart. As for the flowers and everything else, I think it helps to get an idea of how much everything costs so you can start putting together a budget, plus getting different ideas for what you want is half the fun! (Or is it all of the fun…? )
So anyway, plan away! You’re probably right about the dress, too – it’s fun to try them on, but a) you might change your mind later if you choose one now and b) it may actually take months to find the dress you like. Then you might have to actually order it from the designer, which can take months, etc.
Short answer: I think you’re right on schedule.
Post # 4
Wow! You are on top of things! I thought I would need a lot of time to get things done, but with everything else going on in life, I didn’t start doing much of the real work until about 2 months ago. I think you can pull off whatever you want in whatever amount of time you have; it’s a big day and you’ll do what needs to be done. I work well and do my best work under pressure, so I kind of expected to be in the position I’m in at this time, but I kind of wish I was a little less pressed for time so that I could enjoy being engaged and relax a bit more. Based on my experiences with planning my wedding and my involvement in the weddings of a few friends, I think you are in the right spot, especially if you are going to be planning long-distance in the near future. Some things, like locations, need to be taken care of to ensure availability; dresses typically need to be ordered several months ahead of time. Sometimes, prices go up and booking vendors ahead of time will lock you into the lower pricing, just be sure it’s in the contract! (Also consider what will happen if the vendor is not available to carry out their duty at the time of the wedding-like if they are no longer in business- and make arrangements to have your deposits refunded.) Overall, I think you are smart to try to take care of much of it while you are local. Congratulations!
Post # 5
Thank you ladies – I appreciate your thoughts.
It’s funny – I’ve been reading wedding blogs and thinking about this for such a long time but once the time came to get started, I was so unsure about how to begin!!!
I think I’ll keep going the way I am – it’s kinda nice not to have any pressure (although I tend to work better under pressure too!) If the FI’s situation changes and he doesn’t have to go overseas, this whole operation is going on fast forward – I think the waiting til April is definitely going to be hardest part!
Post # 6
I think as long as you’re not the type of person to change your mind a lot, than start planning and booking as early as you want! We were engaged at the end of February and our wedding isn’t until NEXT October, but we have the ceremony and reception venue (same place), photographer, my dress and wedding ring, and the dj. We’ve done a lot of research and I feel very confident about all our choices. Also, I am not going to go dress shopping anymore or look at other reception sites. Once I’ve chosen, I’m done. I don’t want to risk giving myself the opportunity to second guess. Hopefully….I’ll feel this good about all my decisions after 400+ days go by till the wedding…you’re right, the waiting is going to be a killer!
Post # 7
I’m also planning a April 2010 wedding and we have been engaged since November. We both hit the ground running an got the major things out of the way and now we have all the big things taken care of, and now I get to focus on the fun small details.
Btw I got my dress in December and haven’t changed my mind once! 😉
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel
I don’t think you’re doing too much too soon – if you like to get things done ahead of time, go for it! It will probably lead to less stress and feeling rushed later on. I’m getting married in May 2010, got engaged this past March, and am trying to get as much done as I can now.
Post # 9
i think you are right on schedule!! to help you with timelines, you should probably check out a wedding planning checklist and you can find one on theknot.com or marthastewartweddings.com. its actually better to plan farther out as opposed to a few months before the wedding. vendors usually offer better prices and it gives you more time to do things instead of having everything to do at once! also, there is a timeline to do a certain thinks with, like save-the-dates and invitation/rsvps that have to go out at certain times.
my best advice would definitely be to look at a checklist because i think it will really help.
ha and dont feel bad about thinking youre planning too soon. my wedding is in 2 years and 10 days and ive already got my venues, planner, and dresses!
Post # 10
I think that especially since you are planning from long-distance, these things are imperative to figure out. I’m in a similar situation (living in CA and wedding in NY) so Im blogging about it here: http://crosscountrywed.blogspot.com
Post # 11
I started planning things and talking to people very early on in the game. My FI laughed at me, but the way I figured, I’d much rather do the leg work now and have all the choices and the time in the world rather than get crunched and stressed nearer to the wedding.
Post # 12
Definitely not too much too soon, especially considering your abroad situation. (side note: I leave for Ireland on Friday! Wahoo!)
I’m getting married in May 2010 and have already gotten tons done: venue booked, caterer proposal in, cake proposal in, wedding party chosen, colors chosen, hotel rooms blocked, registry done, photographer booked, band booked. I hope to have almost everything done by the time classes begin again in August, with another block of working time over Christmas!
Post # 13
I’ve been engaged since January, and we are also doing an April 2010 wedding. We are basically done with everything big (venues, caterer, photog, dress, rings, flowers, invites) all that’s left are the minor things, like favors and programs, which are easy peasy. I’ve got student teaching in the fall and I wanted to get it all planned so I have nothing or at least minor wedding things on my plate during teaching.
I think you should keep with your planning, it’ll make things less stressful if you don’t have to plan things from abroad.