Post # 1
Ok so no one really offered to throw me my bridal shower, which is ok, but I’ve read online that it’s the MOH’s responisibility to throw it. So I told my sister (who is my MOH) that she would have to do it. Well that isn’t going too well. She is not the most driven person so I’m pretty much planning this on my own, but now I feel like I am just asking her for money to throw me a party. I feel really bad.
1) Is she supposed be the one to throw me a shower?
2) Is it rude to ask her and my other bridesmaids for money for the shower?
3) There are about 50 people I wanted to invite, do I cut that down if she cannot afford it?
I don’t really have the money to throw this shower, but I may have to come up with it if she doesn’t but I don’t even know how much she is willing to contribute, because I don’t want to ask her, because I don’t know if it’s appropiate or not. UGGGGGG Help!!!
Then I have some friends who say you should never throw your own shower. What do I do?
Post # 3
1) Anyone can throw the shower. It is, however, in poor taste for the bride to host her own because you’re basically asking your guests for gifts in the most direct way possible.
2) Yes. Showers are optional. You won’t die if you don’t have one–don’t worry! No one is obligated to throw one.
3) See above.
Post # 4
someone else needs to host it. i think it’s fine if you help with the planning, but someone else’s name needs to be on the invite. you can just have wine and desserts or even a potluck at someone’s house – it doesn’t need to be an expensive affair.
Post # 5
Where is the rest of your bridal party?
Post # 6
1) No one is owed a shower and no one is required to give you one. If someone wants to throw you one, they will.
3) Your friends are right. It is rude to throw a party in your own honor let alone a gift giving party.
Post # 7
1. She can throw you a shower if she wants but, no, she doesn’t have to.
2. Yes it is very rude to ask people to pay for your shower.
3. Yes. If she decides on her own to throw you a shower, don’t be greedy and take what she can afford.
No, you cannot throw your own shower without looking greedy. If no one is going to throw you a shower then you just won’t have one. Trust me, there are worse things that can happen in life than not getting lots of gifts.
Post # 8
@heather25 I haven’t mentioned anything to the bridal party becuase I don’t want to seem rude by asking them to throw me a shower. I hated even bringing it up to my own sister.
Is it wrong for me to feel kind of sorry for myself because no one offered? I am trying to explain to my FI that it is not the bride’s responisibility to this, but he thinks it’s wierd if we don’t one.
I can live without having one. I can’t lie. I’m upset about it.
Post # 9
I asked because your MOH may find her job much easier if she involves the bridal party. You should discuss these things with her in a non-threatening manner. Give her some websites and the contact info for the rest of your party and hope for the best. Maybe encourage your mom to nudge her in the right direction. PS 50 people is a lot for a shower and you have to know what the maids feel comfy spending. I took on my best friends shower and thankfully I have some financial security but it was expensive and I was a lil put off at the time (now I look back at the great memories but that’s today).
Post # 10
I had a similar situation. Do not plan your own shower! I thought I would have to plan my own but then gave us thinking I would just go without. I had family and friends asking ME when and where it would be months before hand and I just had to say I didn’t know. In the end it was thrown together at the last minute combined withour mani/pedi appointment. We had it at the day spa which was nice but opening presents + wedding mani = not good idea. I advise speaking to your mother or other bridesmaids telling them people have asked and you need details. Say it’s fine if I don’t have one but if you’re planning even a little something tell me very soon!
Post # 11
1. Anyone (not necessarily your MOH or bridal party) can throw you a shower but you should not be planning you own (or asking for one, IMO). It’s just rude to throw your own gift giving party in your honor.
2. Yes – it is rude. If they want to throw you a shower, they will. And it will be entirely up to them what they want to spend if they do choose to throw you one.
3. 50 people is a ton of people for a shower and, like above, if someone does decide to throw you a shower they dictate the budget and I’d venture to bet few people in your life would have the money to budget for a 50 person shower.
Post # 12
What about your mom? Could she help your sister? I’m sorry, but you can’t throw your own. It would offend your guests. If anything, express how important it is to you to your sister and explain that it doesn’t need to cost much. All the BM’s can bring a dish, snack, or drinks and it can be very low-key.