Post # 1
As cliche as it may sound, I really feel that I am so lucky to be marrying my best friend!
However, when my fiance isn’t around, I get really down thinking about how few friends I actually have. I came to this realization when we sat down and started writing out the guest list, and my list is almost entirely made up of family. The “friends” I have invited are very few, and really more like acquaintances. Even my best friend, who is my maid of honor (and only bridal party besides the best man), lives far away and is too busy (understandably) to be a major part of my happiness. The real punch in the gut came when my fiance’s best man started planning the bachelor party; he’s having a fun weekend on the lake with ten of his closest friends (a list he stressed over keeping small). I’m trying my best not to feel inadequate that I don’t have close friends, and therefore won’t be having a bridal shower or a bachelorette party; after all, marrying my fiance and best friend is what is really important.
Still, it’s hard sometimes to stay positive when planning a wedding by yourself, and having no friends to share in your girly happiness. Any advice or kind words to help get through the next few months would be more than completely appreciated!
Post # 3
@july142013: i’m in the same boat. i love this website for that reason. i have maybe 1 or 2 girlfriends to talk to about my wedding in real life, and my mom.
i don’t even want a bachelorette party since i don’t have enough friends to make it fun.
Post # 5
I’m totally in the same boat. I have NOT one close female friend. I am friendly with the wives and girlfriends of my fiances friends, but no girls to share wedding plans with, or ask advice or anything!! He has a TON of friends, he was well liked and popular in H.S. and basically still knows all the people he grew up with and still hangs out with them.
My two guests will be two guys that were my bestest friends in H.S. I haven’t seen one of them in over six years, and I am so elated they they will be coming.
but I don’t call them to chat about wedding stuff.
Post # 6
if we all lived close we could totally throw a huge bachelorette party for eachother;)
Post # 7
Don’t worry, I’m the same. I’ve never been a particularly social kind of person, so I’ve got a handful of friends, but I felt really strange writing up the guestlist for the wedding. I guess it kinda worked out for me because I’m from a big family and I’m quite close with my extended family – so that accounts for a lot of my social interaction, but I really noticed it when writing up the list!
I’m not having a bachelorette party either – I’ve only got a small handful of friends and family that I would invite who live in the area, and many of them have just had babies, are pregnant, or have different interests, so my ideal bachelorette (camping, paintball, rockclimbing, etc.) just won’t happen with the ones that are left.
The breakdown for the wedding is
My family: 76
His family: 60
My friends: 10
His friends: 37
Mutual friends: 14
Post # 8
I was on my own in planning my wedding. Like you, I found it bittersweet – it was kind of cool to be left alone sometimes. On the other, it also would have been nice if others took more of an interest in my happiness. But, I’m generally a private person, so it’s not like “CookieCreamCakes is getting married!” was hanging from the rafters.
I lost my best friend over the wedding – his boyfriend became an “Officiantzilla,” basically, so we fired him. I was also sitting and looking at our guest list and thinking about how I needed more friends. But if anything, in my case, getting married brought long-silenced issues to the surface. My best friend had always treated me like I was crap beneath his feet.
My best advice? When you get back from your Honeymoon, join some recreational classes in your area. I plan to do the same. It won’t help with everything, but it will help some.
I actually am having my own bachelorette party, sans gifts – I’m buying pizza/drinks/etc. for some friends and family members. It’s just going to be a chance to hang out. Non-traditional…but still fun!
Post # 9
It’s nothing to be sad about! Some people are social butterflies with a ton of friends, and then there are those of who who collect just a couple good friends and not much else.
When I wrote down my guest list, I struggled to come up with friends to invite. I have my three best friends who live in my hometown, and I have my roommate. Aside from that, I wasn’t sure who else I’d invite. I simply value close bonds, and I can only have that with a few people. I don’t bother with the effort of keeping with a ton of other friends.
And that’s okay. Invite your nearest and dearest, even if it’s just a few people. Be happy you have your FI and those friends and family you do have.
Post # 10
wow, thank you everyone for the responses! A lot of great advice, and it’s really nice knowing there are other brides dealing with this same issue! This is my first post with weddingbee and I can see now why it’s really popular- thank you for the love, kindness, and cheering up- I needed this
Post # 11
I can also relate to this! I don’t really have too many girlfriends at all, which makes me sad since I am in college and should be making all kinds of friends! It is hard to do things on your own. I just try to focus on wedding planning and less on who to share it with.
Post # 12
Yep me too, not many girlfriends here! I feel we are having to scrape together a guest list based mostly on SO and I’s “mutual friends” (that I would probably never see if it wasn’t for SO) and coworkers. I have maybe 1 or 2 good friends but outside of that I talk about wedding-type stuff mostly with coworkers!
It’s totally my fault for not keeping in touch with high school/college friends after moving away, etc. Now I wish that I had put forth that effort so that those people were still in my life. Let that be a lesson for some of the younger bees out there!
Post # 13
I get that! FI has 34 people on his guest list… I only have 16!
Post # 14
I totally sympathize with you here!!! I have felt the same way the last few months.I have some friends, but noone super close anymore. I have a huge family, otherwise I’d only be inviting a few friends from my side. FI has a TON of friends, and has kept up with a bunch of close friends from high school and college.
I’d love to invite any Bees in southwest Missouri to my bach party!!!
Post # 15
@july142013: Yeah I can totally relate. I don’t have many people I consider close friends anymore. I had a core group from college, but none of them are happy for me and I don’t have time to waste on getting them on board. The four girls in my bridal party consist of my sister, neighbor, and two of my friends from primary/high school who were at one point some of my best friends…but not anymore. They all have relationships, kids, or other priorities and I sometimes feel like my wedding isn’t even on their radar. LOL half the time two of the girls won’t even respond to my texts or phone calls…so I guess relationships really do change sometimes when you’re getting married. Honestly my best friend besides FI is my sister. She’s the only one who I can pretty much always count on.
Post # 16
Same boat. I’m not really a social person and neither is my FI. The guest list is mostly family (both sides) and family friends (my side).
We both have really small families, and everyone will have to travel.
It’s pretty much my worst fear that everyone’s going to decide it’s not worth their time and money to attend.