Post # 1
Maybe ruining isn’t the right word, but it’s the first that comes to mind.
Ever since I started hardcore planning back in April/May (We’ve been engaged since July 09) it feels like our relationship has changed. It’s for the better in the long run because I know this is making us stronger but it’s making me crazy! I’ve had almost too much “help” from outside sources like my mother and friends who are “helping me plan” by doing it how they think it should be…which isn’t necessarily what I want.
This has made me go insane. I’m always stressed and when he tells me that I’m getting upset over nothing it turns me into a monster. I lash out and say hurtful things like, “oh, nothing? So our wedding is nothing to you? Well I guess you wouldn’t know, it’s not like you’ve been helping or anything.” As soon as I say these things I know I’ve been hurtful and toxic, and apologize promptly; but I know it must hurt him. He’s doing everything he can. I mean, how much can he really help with?
I just want to know if anyone else is feeling this way? How can we deal with all this stress and keep our composure?
Post # 3
This has been happening a little bit with us too. For us it’s a mixture of stress on top of the wedding planning. Some days we’ll be happy as can be and other days I think we might rip each others hair out. When it’s all said and done the best thing I can do is just be aware of our stress and know when to take a step back. When things get too heated we both walk away before hurtful things are said. Usually taking even a 5-10 minute brake from each other is enough to calm us both down and realize we were being ridiculous!
Post # 4
So glad to know it isn’t just me. And we get the same way, we’re in such good moods for days at a time and then WHAM we’re screaming at one another about stupid stuff. Eventually we calm down, decide to be proactive instead of reactive and find a solution. It’s just a vicious cycle I wish we could break.
Post # 5
Yeah, I feel this way. Everything, from guest list to napkins, seems like it turns into an argument. FI and I are just coming from very different expectations of what a wedding should be.
He thought my parents would literally hand us upwards of $20,000 to have a wedding. Ha! He thinks that a guest list shouldn’t be limited. Wtf? He doesn’t have a problem with his sister trying to book the priest for OUR wedding. Um, hello? He thinks it’s more of a family reunion. I think it’s all about him and I. It should be everything WE want, the way WE want it, how WE want it, etc. He sees no problem with his mom stepping in or his sister stepping in to do some of the planning.
Which leads to a lot of arguments… 🙁 So yeah, I feel you pain. Hang in there 🙂