Post # 1
I thought wedding planning was supposed to be joyful and stressful not depressing…I haver recently become sad and upset about planning the wedding alone. My family lives on a different coast. My mom NEVER asks me how the planning is going its as if I was not getting married thats how much she cares about the whole thing. My future mother in law never chimes in is in the same boat. She will ask here and there but never offer to help or to join or do anything. I have no bridesmaids do to cost. I have no real close friends out here to vent to about this becuase it almost sounds petty. I do not expect my fiance to help with everthing. I guess I wanted someone to be there and shed a tear when I bought the dress and say its the one. Someone to give me opinions and tell me that is my day and not to worry it will be okay. We will help you etc etc……I feel so depressed certain days that I stop planning and put a lot of things off. Has anyone else felt this way before? What did you do to cope?
Post # 2
simone_s: I am in the same situation. I am doing everything by myself but that’s mainly because my fiance doesn’t know a single thing about weddings, and some things are a surprise, my mother has been busy with her own life, my two best friends are completely jealous and bitter I am getting married so this is half the reason we are eloping, and then a reception 5 days later, so I am without a bridal party. I just do it. I have just over 4 weeks to go and it is a little stressful but I am not upset about any of that. I am excited to see it all come together and at the end of the day I can be very proud of myself for doing everything. I’m even altering my own wedding dress. Maybe I am a crazy person.
Post # 3
I completely understand where you are coming from …my wedding is july 2014.i felt the same way i think everyone goes through different emotions while planning & even morevwhen you don’t have the support of family..people you think would be there for ya… i have a big family who always talked about our wedding but when it came time to planning and giving support …no one is here..i have 2 bms who hasn’t even gotten their dresses..a brother who doesn’t want to pay for his tux…my mother may check in & see where i’m at in the planning process…my future mil did get us a photographer & videographer but she hasn’t chime in much since…so i’m at the point i just don’t care..i tried to include everyone so no one felt left out..but we have to understand some people hate when its not about them..some could even be bitter/jealous…but its our day..so they can get with the program or get lost!!! Is how i feel now..trying to enjoy my last weeks of planning & be stress free…take everything in before the wedding..so my advice is to focus on your wedding & fiance ..enjoy your time planning!!
Post # 4
- Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC
simone_s: I am planning ours alone and could not be happier but I like to be in charge of things like this anyway, so I probably would not take too much advice from anyone else.
Post # 5
I would just try and embrace planning by yourself, in the end it will prolly be less stressful because you’ll have less opinions and drama. Just do your thing and try to enjoy yourself
Post # 6
I actually enjoyed planning it alone – less drama and I didn’t have to please anyone but myself. Like Tanleggedjulient I like to be in charge and couldn’t be happier. My wedding is in a week and I’m very happy with the planning process. I hear nothing but horror stories about brides having too many people in the planning process.
Post # 7
I liked planning alone, too. Waaaayyy less drama.
Although in my case, dh was very engaged. He was once co owner of a party planning business, so his input was valuable. Our tastes are so similar, the whole thing went very smoothly with me doing the planning with dh’s opinions.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I feel you, OP! I go back and forth between feeling boo-hoo-y and being grateful I don’t have a bunch of interfering people annoying me.
One thing to keep in mind: not everyone knows how to just jump in and be helpful. Sometimes they need to be asked! You might be pleasantly surprised if you asked your mom or FMIL to do some small task. Maybe they’re waiting to be invited to take part?
Post # 9
simone_s: that sucks! But why don’t you expect FI to help with everything?? Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he can’t or shouldn’t be expected to take on responsibilities.
I’m in the same boat as you. No help from friends or family, either. But FI is taking on 50% responsibility. He is responsible for coordinating/booking venue and organizing reception and has equal say on decor, etc. He’s also in charge of finances and tracking costs. I’m responsible for ceremony venue/officiant, decor, invitations, photographer, and overall timeframe.
There is no way I would bother with any of this without his help. Obviously he’s a guy so his tastes might occassionally be questionable. But he’s amazing at finances and communicating; he’s very organized and efficient. Those skills are what I lack, so it works out.
Is it possible for you to lean on your FI more?