- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I know I’m so blessed with what I have but I have a tendancy to over think and rationalize away my negative feelings before I allow myself to truly feel and work through them. So this is my attempt and letting it out.
My finace is super amazing. He’s supportive, understanding, and hard working. We’re both in college and we both come from struggling single mothers. We’ve been on our own financially all through college. Due to this my wonderful finace works quite a bit on top of going to school full time. He works part time but is also student teaching right now. I have an internship, school full time, and am usually wiped out the rest.
My mother has Lupus and has been struggling with her medications for about a year now, she also has never been one to care about a big wedding. She married quick, made her own dress, cake and mint reception in her church basement. She’s an introvert and quite ecclitic, never really been the social type. She’s crafty but doesn’t really have the drive or health to help me out with wedding planning.
My sister and I are the only ones in our generation. She got married with just witnesses, family wasn’t even invited. She’s also not very social and doesn’t see a big wedding as important. She lives on the other side of the country. We’ve never been the closest either. 6 years apart, she was too cool for me, not a motherly bone in her body.
My maid of honor is super supportive and we’ve been best friends since the 7th grade. But she’s not very crafty, also an introvert, and just isn’t blessed in the planning area.
I should also say that I have Fibromyalgia and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Both of which make me feel like an 80 year old. EDS is a connective tissue dissorder affecting the collagen (the glue that holds our bodies together) So my joints can dislocate multiple times a day. So although I am crafty and have experience with planning I don’t always have the ability or energy to get things done. Since my diagnosis and worsening symptoms I’ve lost touch with all my other high-school friends and never had chance to make more at college.
We’re paying for the wedding ourselves, and while in college and supporting ourselves we just don’t have the money to do anything but a DIY wedding. That being said we’ve kept it super simple and I’ve let go of a lot of dreams. We’re having self-made cake and punch reception, barely any decorations, and we we’re blessed to find an affordable lake venue to accomadate our 200-300 guestlist. (We are heavily involved in our church and community and did not want to sacrafice guests)
I just get overwhelmed with all the details, which is understandable for any bride. I just wish I had more people to help or could afford to hire out and not worry about it.
Pity party over. Thanks for listening.