- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
I’ve never wanted to plan a wedding. EVER. I have never known someone to go through it sanely and happily. My FI has known forever that I wanted a small destination wedding. And he was fine with it . . . until we got engaged.
My dream – DW, 40 people max. His – entire family there (they live about 4 hours away). My family lives all over the world, and my personal opinion is that it’s about us, but he felt that we “owed” them the party. Okay. So we downward compromised, that the wedding would be by us, no destination, but large (IMO) guest list; mind you, I have terrible anxiety around large groups of people. We tried the destination/local reception thing but the logistics just didn’t work (his family wanted it by them, which I thought was unfair, since its a LONG way from major airports for my family). OKAY.
So now, we have a local wedding. Boo, hooray. I’ve been planning it since February, doing all of the work. But NOW I’m finding out his extended family doesn’t want to come because it’s a Friday, too far, hotels, whatnot. I’m SO FRUSTRATED because the ONLY reason we’re having the darn wedding here is because he wanted THEM to come! My FMIL won’t even come up a day early for the rehearsal dinner because it’s “too stressful.”
I feel like I gave up my entire dream, the wedding we had originally agreed upon, for people that are ungrateful. My FI is ungrateful that I’ve planned this huge party I’ve never wanted. His family is ungrateful it’s 4 hours away (where WE live!). It’s just not “local” enough for them. At this point, I DESPERATELY want to elope, but feel guilty since people have bought dresses, we’ve put down money, etc. But the truth is I’m just not happy, and dreading everything. He’s on their side, and can’t understand my frustration. How do I avoid saying “SCREW THE WHOLE THING?!?!?” I feel like I’m about ready to sell the ring and move out west to start over.