Post # 1
Hey everyone! FH & I are really loving the idea of a February or April wedding (goes with our colors;)) but we’re a little overwhelmed at the idea of having it be next April. As I mentioned before we’re long distance, and will be until February of next year. We’re just concerned that it would be too stressful to try to plan things separately without him here, and we think we’d rather have a year to just enjoy being engaged!
My question is are any of you in an almost 2 year/2 year engagement? Did it seem way too lnog or did you enjoy it? Most importantly, should we just coast for a year and not plan anything or are there some things we should try to plan up front? Wondering about a timeline. Thanks!
Post # 3
@MissMelly: FI and I were engaged for almost two years. He proposed Christmas Eve 2010 and we’re finally getting married in October. It was one of the best decisions I made at the time. We were able to save up money, book our venue well in advance (I booked it June 2011 and our weekend was the last weekend open for October 2012!). It gives you so much more time to make decisions, plan, and not be so stress free. It’s so do-able! =) Good luck!
ETA: I should add that we are now planning on a backyard wedding because we realized we didn’t want to to spend almost 30K for a wedding. Eek! =) So now I’m stressing because it was a last minute decision and I have less than 6 months to go! Haha.
Post # 4
Originally, my FI and I were going to have an almost 2 year engagement (22 months) and while that may be great for some people, it was not for us. At first we were like “yes! so much time to plan!” but we found that we had to wait a LONG time to actually plan anything… most people, other than our venue, were planning that far out. I felt like I was waiting again, and that it was just too far away. So we moved it up a year. Now, thats what worked for us, and some people LOVED having the long engagement, and it helped them plan their dream wedding.
To us, it was more important to have something small and get married than have the huge party- but again, that’s just us.
If you feel comfortable with a 2+year engagement, and it’s going to give you that dream wedding you’ve always wanted- Go for it! 🙂
There are certainly things you can plan. You can start your search for a venue, but you should have some dates picked out first. I know in some places venues don’t book that far out- but if you’re in a popular area then they could possibly be booking. (when we had booked our original venue, they were already booked on another weekend we wanted)
Good luck! and remember, if anyone gives you slack about having such a long engagment, just remember- it’s only about you and FI and whatever makes you guys happy.
Post # 5
I wasn’t engaged that long but I don’t see why it would be a problem. Especially since you want time for the two of you to be together. And I wouldn’t want to have to plan a wedding apart either. I don’t know how you LDR girls do it! I’d be going NUTS!!!
Post # 6
We’re having almost exactly a 2 year engagement 🙂 He proposed on August 28th 2010 and we’re getting married August 25th of this year. It has been nice to be able to really take our time and plan things out, save up some money, and enjoy being engaged without rushing around booking vendors.
I did sort of coast a long for a while, but I booked the venue just over a year out. Places around here book very quickly, and I we lost out on my dream venue because we didn’t reserve it in time 🙁 Our back-up venue though, is lovely, cheaper, and it was available so we jumped on it!
Wedding planning make people insane, and I have found it to be much less stressful being able to take planning breaks when things get hectic, so I can recharge and get some perspective.
One other thing I might add, just as a precaution: DO NOT select any wedding party members until about 9-12 months out. Seriously- do a quick search through the boards about “Bridesmaid Issue/Trouble/Problem” or “Can I kick out my BM” or “Can I fire the MOH”… like I said, weddings bring out the cray-cray in everyone, and to avoid some of the drama, wait to select your wedding party. People change, relationships change, but once you get into the thick of planning you’ll know who your real friends are 🙂
Post # 7
my fiance and I are having a two year engagement-its worked perfectly for us so far. he completely threw me for a loop when he proposed as we’re both in graduate school right now. i’m graduating in three weeks (WHOOP!) and he’ll graduate in december. we’re getting married summer 2013.
having a two year engagement allowed us to book our “high ticket items” (i.e. venue, photographer, DJ/entertainment, church) with a no-stress attitude. where we live (just outside of NYC) there is a LOT of competition for venues, photogs, djs, etc. and we were able to book exactly what we wanted for the 2011 rate (when we booked them). since we’ve booked those “high ticket items” we’ve taken a break and focused on school, and this summer (1 year mark) we’re going to get back into planning mode.
in terms of waiting, i feel as though it is a long time, and if i wasn’t in graduate school having something to focus on other than the wedding, i couldn’t have done it. i’ve purposely stopped thinking about wedding stuff (despite me being on WeddingBee lol) otherwise i’d go crazy lol.
hope this helps!
Post # 8
We have a 2 year 3 month engagement, because we wanted to get married after he finished or around the time FI would finish law school, and August ended up being the best month (the other option was March). Other than the guest list, we haven’t done much during the first year. We were able to wait to book the recception venue until we could visit it (7 months after we got engaged) which was nice because with a 1 year engagement we would have to fly blind on everything. I also bought my dress about 20 months before the wedding (perfect used listing came up) though I would probably wait longer than that if I were you. Being engaged was a lot better for me when we were LDR (for 3 months right after we got engaged, we had been in a reg relationship for 3 years, but also LDR for the firstish year too). I liked having a ring to look at when he wasn’t around (though I still look at it when hes sitting next to me all the time lol). I would plan on using the first year as a coast year, and just book big ticket items/visit venues when its convenient.
Post # 9
I had a two year, four month engagement, and it was amazing! If I had to go back and do it all over, I wouldn’t change a thing about it.
I would book some of the bigger, more important things as soon as you can/as soon as you decide. Please don’t wait a year. If you wait a year to start planning, it kind of negates having a longer time to plan. Let me explain…
We booked our reception venue about 20 months ahead of time. We got our complete choice of date, plus we got 2009 prices for our 2011 wedding. Instead of letting the availability of our reception hall or church decide what date we were getting married, we got to choose for ourselves.
We also got our choice of all of our vendors because no one was booked 18-20 months in advance. It’s a great feeling to be able to book anyone you want without worrying about whether they’re free.
And finally, it just feels SO GOOD to have things done early. It makes the rest of your planning much less stressful. Overall, I’d recommend going at a slow but steady pace. With extra time, you don’t have to rush anything. You can enjoy checking our vendors and venues and going to wedding shows and registering because you don’t have to do it all within a short amount of time. The time allows you to really enjoy the whole engagement process with a lot less stress, as long as you’re planning along the way.
Post # 10
A friend of mine had a similar length engagment (if not longer). After the initial excitment planning took a back step. But bear in mind some most venues get booked up 18 months in advance. It might be a good opportunity to scout for venues, especially since if you both want to see it you’ll need to arrange time to be in the same place. Another friend with a longer engagment gave me this warning: YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND, so don’t stress about colours or details too much. As PP have said, focus on the biggys for now (I wouldn’t include the dress in taste in “fashion” changes) Good luck 🙂