Play my instrument at my wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m a professioanl musician and there is no way that I’m playing at my own wedding. I feel like it will seem like grandstanding. You’re already the centre of attention that day – no need to point it out even more. If you want to prepare a special piece for your husband, why not record it and send it, along with a love note, for his best man to play for him when he’s getting ready? 

Post # 4
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would not.  Enjoy the day!

Post # 5
3673 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I play instruments as well but I would not want to play at my own wedding. For me, it would be a lot of extra stress… I can play a special song for my fiance any time, but I’m only going to get to be a bride for one day. Just my two cents.

Post # 6
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Nope.  I play an instrument and have played at other weddings, but would never play at my own.

Post # 7
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@gm234:  I guess I am going against the grain and saying do it. Typically, at least in my area, you have people sing at the wedding so why not just do it then? DH is a choral teacher, and not only did he and I sing together but he also sang the song he propopsed to me to. All of our guests loved it because they love hearing us sing.

If you do want to do it, talk to whoever is officiating and ask when the appropriate time would be to do it. We did ours right after our vows and he sang his song a little later.

Post # 8
453 posts
Helper bee

It would be like Uncle Jesse singing Becky the song at their wedding on Full House!

Okay… Old Bee here 😉

Um… I agree with megz06… if you want to do it, go for it! It might be a little more hectic, but how special for your FH! 

Post # 9
4941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@gm234:  I’m a saxophonist and I couldn’t have imagined playing had we gone through with the huge wedding. It’s your wedding day, you should relax and enjoy OTHER people entertaining you!

That being said, if this is something that you feel you’d really enjoy doing then go for it! Certainly no one will think negatively if you decide to do something yourself at your OWN wedding. People sing all of the times at their own events, don’t they? Same thing. 🙂 

Post # 10
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I giggle because I imagine playing my instrument. I play guitarron, a 6-string acoustic bass used in Mariachi. Not much you can do with that…

If you want to, I say go for it. I will agree, though that it’ll be added stress, plus someone would have to be left in charge of your flute. I’d be terrified of something happening to it. And what would you do with it the rest of the day, you can’t leave it in your car!

Post # 11
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I photographed a wedding once where the groom sang to the bride to be as she walked down the aisle. Everybody said awwww, and it was very beautiful.

I don’t know if it applies to this, but I think it would be very romantic. I say do it.

Post # 12
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@PacificMrs:  oh hey I play saxophone too!


OP I think it’s great if you want to play at your wedding–my mom keeps saying FI and I should play at our reception (ugh, totally don’t want to)–but will you be able to focus on the playing well enough? At my friend’s wedding, her sister played violin while people walked down the aisle, but she was pretty emotional and her playing was a bit shakey (although maybe she just wasn’t avery good player, I don’t know). I personally don’t think I could handle playing at my own wedding–I’ll be too emotional.

Post # 13
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

This is just my opinon: I think the ceremony is for both of you. Meaning, you both should participate and any gifts you give (i.e. rings or any other gifts) should be returned in kind, to show you are both equals. Especially for the ceremony. That’s just my opinon, though.

Do you typically perform the flute just for him? Then I’d say do it.
Have you never done it before? Then I’d skip it – I think you’ll be nervous enough without a literal performance at your wedding. :/

Anyway, if you do it, I’d suggest keeping it very short and sweet – don’t forget that your guests are there as well, and may not be OK sitting through a 5+ minute musical performance in the middle of a ceremony. I’d say make it 2 minutes top.

Honestly, I’d be uncomfortable if I went to a wedding and the bride or groom started performing on their instrument (or singing) solo in the middle of the ceremony (unless it was just jamming during/after the reception, that’s more OK by me).
If it was a duet, I think I’d be perfectly fine with that (and it would be sweet!).
But one person doing a performance for another would feel a little out of place to me, partly because of my whole “equals” thing, and partly because I came for a wedding… not someone’s music recital (been to enough of those for one lifetime). 🙁
Sorry, I know it sounds harsh, I really don’t mean to be – I just wanted to give a POV from a (rather cranky) guest. :/

I think if you do it, keep it very short and make sure it’s excellent, and it should really be just fine.
It’s your wedding – do what makes you happiest!

Good luck, OP.

Post # 14
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Play during the reception! If you do it during your ceremony it’s a little awkward.

Post # 15
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@gm234:  My friend is a singer and sang at her own wedding a couple of weeks ago. It was amazing!! Half of the congregation were crying. I say Do it. She did it towards the end after all the important bits were done. I wrote a poem for DH which I read during The speech but if I had a talent like that I would definitely use it during wedding day.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors