- Silver Plum Fairy
- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
There is just two weeks until my wedding. I am starting to look forward to this whole thing being done…
My FI selected my brother to be his Best Man. Now I love my brother and I was really touched, but I was shocked that FI picked my bro over his cousin as my bro has made a habit of pissing FI off. (I’m already tired of writing brother so I will call him B). He said he made the decision because his cousin lives far away and he wanted to have his best man be close, and he also thought that since B is like a “brother” to him then it would be nice to have him in that role.
B and FI have been friends for almost 15 years now. B introduced us. So I let it be…Now shit is starting to hit the fan.
B is pretty great friends with FI’s cousin. They hang out whenever they are in the other’s area of the country. Well, B has taken it upon himself to repay FI’s cousins hospitality and will take him to the mountains for a snowboard trip the day after the bachlor party. B texted FI and asked him if he could get Monday off to come along. (FI gets Sunday/Monday off every week) FI doesn’t snowboard and he hoped to have some time with his cousin. The text sounded as if my B was taking control of what should be a weekend for my FI. So FI was angry and didn’t text back for a few days.
I made the mistake of speaking to my brother about it. I told him that it did appear that he was planning a trip around what he likes and what works for him (he’s also using a groupon for the hotel that his gf got for him probably for a romantic getaway). He said that he will have gf come along and go snownoarding with him and then FI can have the day with his cousin. So he wants to have my FI and his cousin stay in the room with two beds, with a couple? Hmm…sure.
FI decided to agree thinking that it would be nice for his cousin to see the mountains. Yesterday, he chose to ask about bringing the other groomsmen so that they can get to know eachother and party a bit. Well he texted again (stupid texting). My brother vetoed it. He said that it would be really ackward for his gf to be in a car with 4 guys. Is it not akward enough for her already?
So FI said well maybe he would bring a seperate car and get a hotel in town about 45 minutes away that will have more for him, his cousin, and groomsmen to do (more bars and not so much a skiing town). Well B said that FI was trying to take control of the weekend and that originally he though Chris would be working. The plan was to have FI’s cousin, B’s GF and him all go snowboarding. He made FI feel like a 3rd wheel and an after thought. That it was an inconvenience that he would want to spend time with his cousin who is coming out for our wedding not to hang out with B in the first place. He also brought up the fact that he thought it was stupid that my FI hadn’t texted him back the week before because he thought he was taking over his bachlor party weekend ?!?! I think you proved him right B.
Now his cousin is a person, and he was the one who asked my B to check with FI to make sure it was okay that he go to the mountains and try to have him come a long. (His cousin is a great guy who would stay in our town if he was asked to stay that weekend, but that just seems petty )
Regardless this whole situation sucks. FI is saying he wished he hadn’t made my B his best man and that he doesn’t plan on seeing him too much after the wedding. That he’s “Done with him” and that “He’s disappointed me one to many times”. THAT PISSES ME OFF! Cutting my brother out is not an option. He is annoying as hell, but he is my brother and I love him.
FI is an only child and doesn’t undestand why I start to defend my brother or why it hurts me to hear that. I feel as though I’ve failed because my brother has failed to be a good, considerate friend. I try to explain, but then a few hours later he’s going on about B again. We’ve gotten into some arguments about this, because he feels I take my brother’s side. To me it’s not about sides. Also at the end of the day I have chosen to live the rest of my life with my FI, not with my B. As a result, his feelings are the one’s I hold the highest. That doesn’t make this any less difficult.
Honestly if it was anyone else I would tell FI to cut them out of the wedding, and to not see them anymore. BUT this is my brother, this isn’t some guy, and I am stuck with him so now my FI is too.
Welcome to having a brother, you cannot choose or change.
Sorry for the rant.
Anyone else experience this?