please be honest

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If I were the bride in this scenario, I would appreciate my guests wanting to bring a nanny to keep the kids under control since they are quite obviously unable to watch them.  Seems they are looking out for the couples best interest in having an uninterrupted ceremony. But if the bride and groom don’t care about these kids being unattended, then that’s their call. I do think it was a little pushy that both the bride and groom asked after the first was told no. However, the kids WERE invited to the wedding, afterall, not just the parents, so I can understand them wanting to bring the kids and not leave them at home with the nanny. 

If I were the bride in this scenario, I would probably allow the nanny to accompany the kids but only because in my head the extra cost is not extravagant and worth not having two kids potentially running around during the cceremony. 

If i was the parents, I would have accepted the first “no” and decided to leave the kids home with the nanny. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t know.

Did Bride and Groom give a reason why the nanny couldn’t attend the wedding or at the very least stay in the room? For instance, are there numerous other families who might want to bring their nannies? Or will baby sitting already be provided by Bride and Groom making a nanny unnecessary?

And you said B&G are paying for a mansion for the wedding– are they and bridal party all staying at this mansion to sleep? Or are they just going there for the wedding and staying at a hotel nearby?

Post # 5
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@selena12312:  I would say bride and groom do not want Mr. & Mrs. to be in their wedding very badly. If Mrs. is groom’s sister, then Mr. & Mrs.’s children are neices or nephews of the freaking groom. Bride and groom are being difficult just to be difficult IMO.

 

Post # 6
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@selena12312: Mostly, Mr and Mrs are the unreasonable ones.

Bride and groom are right in that they don’t need to allow nanny at ceremony or reception

Bride and groom are right that they shouldn’t be required to allow a stranger in their wedding suite.

Mr and Mrs don’t need to bring nanny to control kids in the car, they can do that themselves.

The only place bride and groom are being a little unreasonable is expecting Mr and Mrs both to be in the bridal party. They probably shouldn’t have asked both. Best solution to me seems to be that one of them drops out of bridal party. Or, another relative minds the kids during the ceremony.

MOH was unreasonable suggesting kids stay home, because they were invited.

Post # 7
Member
31 posts
Newbee

Since Mrs. is the groom’s sister and is immediate family, I think she should be allowed the nanny to come to the wedding to watch over her kids since it wouldn’t add extra cost to them.

Post # 8
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would ask if the children were accustomed to staying at home with the Nanny when their parents travel. If they are then they should be able to stay at home with the nanny. Both the bride and groom have said no to the nanny attending multiple times and it’s their event, I would respect their wishes or not go if I insisted on having my way.

Post # 10
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@selena12312:  In this case, Mrs is in the wrong. B&G offered to pay for a room at a nearby hotel because it impossible for children to be attended by the nanny at the mansion. That is more than enough in my opinion. Plus, the guestlist is very small, meaning that it is very likely that a bunch of randoms weren’t invited– everyone invited is important te the B&G. There simply is no room for nanny at mansion. Plus Mrs continued to call and call and call after already being informed of all of this.

Post # 12
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It sounds to me like this is the bride and groom’s way of uninviting the kids, without actually having to do it, or trying to get Mrs and Mr to back out of being in the wedding without actually asking them. I think if the kids are in fact invited, and these aren’t just kids, but the groom, and now bride’s neices and nephews, then it would be reasonable for the Bride and Groom to make some exceptions in this situation. Personally, I’d love it if the nanny was coming. Yes it would be an extra plate (although mrs and mr already gave the option of not attending the reception), but this way everyone who was invited gets to attend. mr and mrs can enjoy the wedding and most importantly bride and groom don’t have to worry about the kids… being kids, during the wedding.
Our best man will have a 10 month old and will be travelling from a difference province when we get married, we are going to offer to bring one of their parents with them, so that way he and his wife can actually enjoy the wedding, and so his wife (a first time mom), will feel comfortable at the wedding.

Post # 14
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

B&G offered the hotel room and explained the circumstances. Why did Mrs say no to that? I think B & G are in the right. I think they should have done this from the get-go, though!! Also … idk why mom and dad can’t deal with their offspring in the car unassisted?? Guess I didn’t go to that school of parenting. I cannot for the life of me understand the point of having a live-in nanny you won’t leave your kids with overnight lol

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