(Closed) Please can I have your advice, on a lost friendship. NWR

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I contact my friend back?
    Yes, best friends are hard to find : (4 votes)
    11 %
    No, friends sometimes go their seperate ways : (32 votes)
    86 %
    Other ( please explain below) : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1784 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Personally, I’d never be able to be friends with someone who did that to my sister. I understand that you miss having a best friend but is it Julie you miss, or just having that person in your life? I’d be weary of letting her back in, especially after she didn’t show any remorse for her mistakes.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6893 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I don’t think it’s her you miss, but rather someone to fill that role. The thing I’ve learned is that sometimes your “best friend” can change. I’ve had 3. My “younger days” one, my “high school/college” one, and my current (and most awesome) one. 🙂 Things just fall apart sometimes and it’s painful, but you have to let them or it will become this cyclical argument (trust me….it was this way when my hs/college bf and I went our separate ways and it SUCKED).

    Post # 7
    Member
    6893 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’m sure you will if you open yourself up to the possibility. 🙂 Sometimes you resist that because of how it used to be. I know I did, but eventually you realize that holding on to the past (just like in any type of relationship) is unhealthy. Hope this works out for you.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7976 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I would probably respond to direct contact from her personally, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to contact her, and I certainly wouldn’t go clean slate. It’s okay to be friends without being bffs 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Like AmeliaBedelia, I’ve had more than one bff throughout my life. Although I’m not quite AS close to my bff as I used to be bc I moved across the country a few yrs after HS, I still consider her my bff, and she’s one of my BMs. I think it’s most likely just that closeness you crave, being able to tell everyone everything, and having “girl” time.

    Post # 11
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think you should go with your heart. I know exactly how you feel! I am going through this with my closest friend of almost 25 years. I agree with an earlier post. Its easy to hold onto the past, but it is probably unhealthy! My friend and I now hardly never talk and when we do we always go back to you did this and i did that.. Its no fun and defenetly not a good relationship. I still remember how we used to be and hope she will be bcak to that someday .. but i dont think she will. We have changed and grown! I am pretty much the same person, but I will no longer put up with her selfishness or nonsense. Its always been her way and I am pretty easy going. I dont need friends in my life like that anymore. My fiance is my best friend! I hope you can figure this out. Dont forget you deserve a wonderful BFF, one that rides for you and doesnt betray you or your family!

    Post # 12
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee

    I was ok with *Julie* up until you talked about what she did to your sister (and consequenlty you).  For me, that is a deal breaker. 

    Believe me, I’ve been there.  I’m 33 today and had to leave a few friends behind.  But don’t worry, there might be a period where I felt lonely and missed “what used to be” but bad friends get replaced with better friends.  And honestly, what are you losing anyway? Not much. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Let it go. She’s proven herself on more than one ocassion where her loyality lies and its not with you.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1636 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Cash000: You said you miss that person “you could tell everything to”  yea, if you want it known all over town! 

    It does suck losing a friend that you have known so long, but if you think about the final months of the relationship, it doesn’t sound like much of a relationship at all.  It sounds like it stressed you out and made you sad:(

    I am at a crossroads with a couple of my friends as well.  But when the bad times outweigh the good, I think its time to let go.

    JMHO…

    good luck!

    Ronney

     

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