(Closed) Please come and rant to me, waiting bees!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MissDarthVader:  This is what I thought when I read the title to this…

*Vader Voice**wheeze* Yes, rant….let the anger take your soul…Feel the power….*wheeze*…of the dark side…

Where is my Red Light Saber?

SO and I have been together for 5 years. Lived together 2 years next Feb. me mid 20’s, him 30…Blah blah blah…sob story…blah blah blah…love story…blah blah blah Financial issues. BLAH BLAH BLAH…Finally ready these last 6 months. 

My problem is really with me. I want it. I want it too much. It’s not sexy. I gotta not want it so much. 

 

Post # 4
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

SO and I will hit 3 years soon. We looked at rings in January…I narrowed it down to 3 options. He wanted a general idea of what I liked, but wanted to make the final decision. I’ve been waiting since then. I was hoping for a proposal before the end of the year, but subtle hints are now telling me it will happen for our 3rd anniversary in January. I can’t really complain if I ended up waiting a year total because I know some of the bees have been soldiers for much longer. However, I feel it’s time to get the show on the road. We’re older…I’m 35 and he’s 43…neither of us want children, so my biological clock is not an issue…just ready to move to the next phase of our relationship!

Good Luck, Ladies!

Post # 5
Member
43 posts
Newbee

I’m too scared to take the plunge. I’m making him wait. I’m the fiend on the dark side here. I don’t mean to be such a horrible person who is terrified of being a Mrs. I wish men had a similar support group so that he could rant about his awful commitophobe bitch of a girlfriend. He needs to stop being so manly and supportive of me, and get it off his chest. I am hoping that being on a wedding forum and seeing all the pretty rings and dresses will turn me into less of a total douchebag and more into fiancee material.

Post # 6
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Our story…

I met my SO abroad 4 years ago. I was 22 and he 27. We fell in love right away and just knew we wanted to get married some day. He came back to the US with me several months later, immediately asked my dad for his blessing, but never proposed to me formally. So, no ring. THIS always disappointed me. But, we did begin planning a wedding and I bought a dress. By the time the dress came in he had already gotten cold feet, and a few fights and tears later we called off the wedding. But, we did stay together, we still loved each other and wanted to be together. Fast forward a couple of years later when he gets into graduate school…and he breaks up with me. I was devastated…until we got back together yay! But then, he broke up with me AGAIN some months later. By that point I had HAD IT with being jerked around. At the time he had been working at a law office with my step mother. She said he was absolutely miserable. I tried my best to get over him, even went on a few dates, and was just rounding the corner when I let him back into my life. We took things reallllly slow. I went to counseling. It’s been a couple of years now since all the drama, but we are very happy and excited to take the next step and commit ourselves to each other. We had left marriage stuff off the table for a while but back in June he and I stepped into a jewelry store while on a date one evening. We started looking at rings more and more, and then told the family we were looking. They were super excited. Now, we have set a wedding date but we still don’t have the “ring”. I’m anticipating getting it by the new year, or maybe just after the new year. I used to set little timelines like “by October,” “by Thanksgiving”, “by Christmas”, but now I just go with the flow. I know it will be best if it’s on his own time. We had such a challenging beginning because I always put more pressure on him than he could handle when it came to tieing the knot. Oh, lessons learned…

Post # 7
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Newt that was me the first 1.5 years of our relationship. People were hounding me about getting married and I wondered why I’d “ruin” a good thing by getting married. I wasn’t anti-marriage, just never saw it for myself. I turned the corner and now I’m waiting. Isn’t it ironic…dontcha think? ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

Yay ranting! Mine and SO’s start of our relationship was extremely rocky so we don’t even agree on how long we’ve been dating. But coming up in January it will be (according to one of us) our 4 year anniversary.

The thing is, is that we are both divorced. He started dating a girl right after his divorce and due to her cultural background, it was “get married right now!” so he had planned to be engaged to her within 6 months (they had been friends for like 7 years beforehand, so they felt they knew each other “enough”). Things didn’t work out with them and then he and I got together… but he still had all the “what if’s” for her… blah blah blah…. tons of boundary issues and dealing with his leftover feelings for that relationship. But time heals all wounds, he doesn’t have those feelings for her anymore and literarly JUST moved in with me less than 2 weeks ago.

I’m just irrirated that it took him such a short time to want to get married to her and he’s taken his sweet time with me. Though in the land of reality, we really couldn’t have gotten to the point of being able to marry each other sooner… we both (but especially him) had some serious growing to do and problem resolving skills to build since our divorces.

Anyway… he has my ring RIGHT NOW. But told me “not this year”. Grrrrr… I want to get on with my life already and get to making a family damnit!

 

Post # 9
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

@MissDarthVader:  I am with you completely! Men can be so DUMB…I could only LOL when I read your post, because I feel like I’m in a similar boat. My SO and I went and looked at rings A YEAR AGO (HIS idea!) and no peep from him at all. We’ve been together 2.3 years and I’m hoping for something before we hit 2013, it’s the holidays…what better way to celebrate and share the happy news with family…hopefully they are smart enough to see it that way ๐Ÿ˜‰ Good Luck to us both! 

Post # 10
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Oh ladies ๐Ÿ™‚  The best things come to those who wait.

I was with my FI for 8.5 years before he popped the question, 3 of those were long distance.  I’m not sure I would change anything.  Our relationship meant no less for the lack of the ring or wedding… we were busy living our lives together.

And boy was the wait it worth it!  When he did propose, it was with a ring that he had designed, smelt, polished, and set all himself with a gorgeous diamond.  

Rant away if you must!  But also be busy living your lives together while you wait ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
43 posts
Newbee

@cyclingchick:  I do worry that’s what’s going to happen! I think I’ll put it off until one day I’ll wake up to how much of an idiot I’ve been, at which point his reaction will be a resounding “…meh!” I really hope I don’t mess things up by dragging my feet.

Post # 14
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MissDarthVader: Hooray for ranting!

The condensed version:  SO and I have been together for almost 5 years, been talking marriage for 3 years and looking at rings for 2!  Finally, last November I had “the meltdown” and we talked timeline – he’s actually the one that brought it up.  He said he’d propose to me within a year.  So here we are, the year is up at the end of November, and no ring in sight.

And as hard as it’s been, I’ve been waiting *quietly*.

I love him and know he’s absolutely the one and also know he’s been actively shopping for/buying a ring.  The thing that gets me is – why must he wait until the last freaking moment to do it!  Especially since the timeline was HIS idea!  Ughhh.

Post # 16
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

I could use a good rant today, thank you. I had a good run a few minutes ago, and the day before, the stress and frustration of waiting is helping me shed a few pounds at least! Sometimes it’s the only way I can release my frustration .

Ive been having a tough waiting past couple of weeks with the holidays coming up, and our timeline getting closer and closer, less than 3 months away now. I’ve been patient with his new job, him moving almost 30 miles away, and all the other stuff that has come along with these changes. I am getting close to being resentful since I feel like he’s dragging this out for no real reason, he has a great job, money for a ring is no issue, he’s 35 as am I, it’s just procrastination and dragging his ass. 

I feel like I should be utilizing these next few months to research renting out my house and us looking for a new place but instead we’re still in the same place when we had this conversation months and months ago. I don’t want to do anything seriously wedding or “future” related until I know for sure and we stop just freakin talking about it. 

He is a wonderful man and I love him to pieces but I am really ready for our future to start, I’m sick to death of talking about it. He knows how I feel, the only thing I can really do is be quiet about it since he still has “time”, and hope hope hope he keeps the promise he made to us. With all that said, I am thankful to have him in my life, he’s worth the wait lit it’s stressful at times for sure.

 

 

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