Please don't think I am awful….:(

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

You aren’t awful at all! You realize that marriage and love are the most important. But, it’s normal to be jealous sometimes. Maybe you can pray for peace in this matter

Post # 6
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Ilovejesus30:  in my wold, I have SO’s sister and her BF. They are the family’s power couple. Lol. They are thinner, more ambitious, more popular, and the kids in the family adore them. It’s hard not to feel jealous sometimes, but I know we are loved and appreciated as well. Your family is coming to see you marry the man of your dreams and share in your happiness. They won’t care what your dress cost or what you weighed. It really is the love that you share with them, each other, and God that will make your day special 

Post # 7
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

What does being Christian have to do with this? These are real, valid, human emotions.

Once you get out of the “fancy person” bubble you will feel much better. Don’t get caught up in that, it’s so easy to lose your priorities when you see what “the other half” is enjoying. We all have different levels of financial stability and expectations of weddings!

Post # 9
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Ilovejesus30:  not a horrible person…

 

try and focus on being your best you,….regardless of how perfect someones like seems, doesn’t make it so. I dont know her or her replationship with her SO, but keep in mind that things usually aren’t as perfect as others percieve them to be…and if they are great, be happy for them.

 

Your day will be special because you will make it special, it is a day to celebrate you and your FI becoming one. If it doesn’t feel special …then find a few things that will add to that and make it a day you will love.

 

My hubby and I when we married a few months ago (both for second time) coudn’t afford a lot because we too paid for everything…but that made us realize what was and was not important in a ceremony and reception.  I’ve been to a few high dollar weddings….and honestly our little church wedding with a restaurant bar reception kicked the pants off them LOL

 

Our food was amazing! (the owner grilled burgers, brats made homemade salad and the most delicious white mac and cheese!!!)  our cheap cake was soooo yummy, we had simple centerpieces on our table, didn’t give out favors…and ya know what? people had THE BEST time because it was a day filled with love <3

 

don’t sweat the small stuff….focus on your day and be happy for others, there journey is not yours and vice versa <3

Post # 10
Member
6204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@Ilovejesus30:  her wedding is over a year away- she just hasn’t gotten to the hard part yet! I’m one of those people you were talking about; my life seems incredibly easy. However, weddings will do crazy things to just about every single one of us. She might not have the same problems you do as her wedding gets closer, but she’ll have them all the same! 

Post # 12
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Ilovejesus30:  My SO’s best friend got married last year. The wife is now a housewife and they are currently building their (huge) house out of his pocket (no mortgage). Not to mention, they travel overseas all the time. Their wedding was expensive, so was everything about her look. 

Now SO and myself both work and we are not even making as much as the best friend but what makes me feel better (I admit!) is the fact that their wedding lacked personality. It looked as if they did what they thought they should do for a wedding but it wasn’t a tear jerker. 

All this just to say, your wedding could have a special touch different to your SIL’s own. It could be more intimate or shows more personality. Who knows? You two would have different people on the guest list with only your in-laws in common. So enjoy your day!

Post # 14
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Ilovejesus30:  You are DEFINITELY not a bad person!

Jealousy is a human emotion, and we ALL feel it! We had a 4K luncheon with no dancing, and I was DEFINITELY jealous of the Bees with 50K+ evening receptions!

But my wedding was SO special to me, and your wedding will be SO special to you!

Post # 15
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

@Ilovejesus30:  I can realte to this. My brother has always seemed to have a charmed life. I know where you are coming from…..Its not like he doesn’t deserve it or I’d want it any other way for him, but why don’t I have it together like that? Its not jealousy, but envy. Speaking as another Christian, I know that the book of ecclesiastes helps me put things in perspective. Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

Post # 16
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ilovejesus30:  Oh my goodness–you are not a terrible or horrible person at all!! It’s perfectly natural to feel this way. I know exactly what you are going through. My sister had a huge wedding (nine BMs and 2 MoHs for starters), a very expensive dress, honeymoon in Hawaii, huge e-ring, etc. It was hard not to compare. My dress was clearance (but I adore it!!), my e-ring is small, we did not have an exotic honeymoon, and our wedding was very small. In the end, what mattered was that the wedding was mine, and not my sister’s. It had my mark on it, and that’s what made me happy. (Well, actually, what really mattered in the end is that I’m now happily married to my husband!). It’s hard not to compare, but know that your wedding will be uniquely *yours* and that’s what counts! 🙂

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