Weddingbee boards
I know I know.... That entire question might seem wrong to some... but i really want to know... you see, I never cared what size the e-ring would be when I didn't have one lol, but now that I have one, and I notice the size of ring on other girl's hands, it is sort of irritating me.. I mean, my hands are small, and I told him i didn't want a chunky one cuz it would totally swallow my finger.. but... I don't know... he is notorious for being a penny-pincher (he's getting better about it now), and we are definately not rich, we have good jobs, but not college degrees or anything.... *sigh*
OK, I'm afraid I'm sounding terribly superficial, but I'd like to think he didn't try to get the smallest thing he could get away with...
WHY is this BOTHERING ME?
I understand that money does not equal love, so please everyone be nice with your responses.
Has anyone else ever felt like this?
BTW, the ring I have is very good quality, because he knows about diamonds and things... I just wish it was a TINY bit larger.
I'm about to get a wedding band though, so I know that will up the sparkle factor just a tad more lol.
You should read Ms. pretzel's post. It's the thought that counts, not size.
I knew a gal who's very wealthy and her e-ring and wedding band is one of the same WITHOUT a solitaire! So anything goes in this business. If it really bothers you, it's good to talk it out with your FI or close family members. Hopefully, they can get your thinking/emotions straight.
Long time stalker, first time poster.
I registered just to post on this.
Honey, mine is smaller than yours. I have an art deco ring from the '20s. I love it, don't worry about what others say, even though the size of my ring might devastate some of the other posters on here!!
Enjoy it!
I think it is normal to be envious of material things, whether they be rings or cars or houses or whatever. A ring is a symbol of your FI's love but its also a ring... and its understandable to want to love it independent of its meaning.
I'm sure that your ring is absolutely beautiful... and I would bet that you will come to love it fully.
@ stewie
That seriously made me laugh! (The fact that you registered to reply to me)
Thank you!
I know he would not be happy with me if he knew I posted this, but that's what this site is for right? To ask questions and discuss things that you sometimes can't talk to your SO about!
You know what's funny, I'm in the opposite boat from you. I really wanted a ring that had great clarity, but was okay with it being a little smaller. The princess cut that was in stock and in our price range was a 1 ct, though, and much cheaper for us than what a smaller diamond would have been, because we got it at what the jeweler paid when he bought it years ago. (FBIL's dad.)
But he admitted the quality's not wonderful, so now I'm a little apprehensive that when I get it I'll spot some imperfections. But i'll love it just the same, because it's my ring. :)
i totally understand. even though we don't really like to admit it, we do look at other girls' rings and compare them to ours in one way or another. one thing to keep in mind is that although their rings may be larger in size, yours may still be even BETTER than theirs (based on quality). you said your fi knows about diamonds, so maybe since you also stated you didn't wanted anything too clunky that he just decided to get you the BEST of the other C's? my dh at the time also thought about getting a slighty larger size but what mattered to him was the clarity and color. so he said he actually paid more for the smaller one. just something to keep in mind 
All I can say (after deleting a post that made me sound like a *itch) is that if you start comparing what you have to everyone else, you'll never be satisfied. It's a token of his love and affection, plus a sign of his promise and commitement. Like Stewie said, just enjoy it.
PS
My E-ring is only 1/5 of a carat because it's from my grandma. I love it.
I understand exactly how you feel. I requested smaller rings as well, because my fingers are small and big rings do not fit well; and also because I would rather have him spend money on trips and quality time together.
However, when you start ring shopping and looking at other people, I found that it was easy to get carried away with all of this and feel like you might want something more, and wondering why FI doesn't buy something more traditional and expensive.
But you know what? In the end, I chose both my engagement ring and wedding set with him, neither were super expensive nor big carats and I love them; would never exchange them. At first, I thought I wanted two different things that didn't match and would wear one on each hand, but then we decided to get a set for the wedding bands because, well, two's better. Yes, there are sparklier pieces out there, but I did try them on, and they do not look as good on my fingers, unless some that were WAY out of budget and I refuse to let him get in debt for a ring.
I had the same questions in mind, but it's all temptation that lasts only while you're ring shopping - it goes away I swear! :)
Just for fun, I
w-set.jpg (35 KB, 29 downloads) 4 months old e-ring.jpg (41.5 KB, 31 downloads) 4 months old
My ring IS beautiful, that's definately not my issue!
I just remember when we were looking at rings the first time, this IS the ring I showed him, except I tried on the 1 ct one LOL.
I do know that he didn't finance it though, he bought it outright, and I am very grateful and I love him for plopping down that much cash for it.... (of course that's not the only reason I love him, just sayin')
OK, NOW I FEEL LIKE A HEEL.
Mine is just about a carat it's like .95 or something and I feel the way you do sometimes, but honestly, I'm really, really happy with my ring. I know the diamond is of very good quality and I told him from the get go, I didn't want anything really showy and that I would rather have a really nice modest stone then have a big flashy piece of crap stone. I mean we aren't millionaires so compromise would have had to come in somewhere (though he wanted to spend more and I WAS the one that said no! Ironic, isn't it? HA)...I opted for quality over quantity and we shopped together. Our appraiser was very impressed with the ring. Even still, sometimes I see these woman with these huge rocks and I wonder if they look at mine and have a little chuckle at my expense. Though who knows...
I was undecided about whether I preferred a solitaire or a 3 stone ring, since we utlimately went with the solitaire, I did up the sparkle factor myself while choosing my wedding band. At first I thought I'd be overshadowing my e-ring by doing that, but I really like the look of them together and I think once I get to wear it I will feel real good about my rings as a pair. Right now I just feel like it's incomplete and can't wait to have the other piece...and until I have it, i sort of feel like you do. Maybe you'll feel better with the band also.
I think this is a very honest post, I originally picked out a very extravagant ring that my FI couldn't afford, he got me beautiful ring, I love it but it is a small center stone (.55 carats) and is smaller compared to most of my friends/colleagues and they comment on it, and I hate the fact that it effects me but it does..so just keep in mind that its a promise of love not a status symbol ...you don't sound shallow
If I were in your shoes, I'd get a thicker wedding band (not necessarily thicker with diamonds) to complement the smaller stone. My setting is too big to have a thick wedding band next to it, but I wish I could.
@morgan...your friends comment on the size of your ring? Now THAT is just not nice!
You should check out pricescope.com, it's all ring talk in the show me the ring forum. There are a lot of ladies with under 1 ct rings, there's a thread there just for that purpose, also the national average size engagement stone is somewhere around .3 cts. Also, take a look at the rings on women in other countries, most seem to prefer quality over size, here in the US it seems a bit the opposite. It's all about preference, but I'd rather have my super sparkly stone over a bigger, slightly lower quality stone. Try to remember that it's what he means by it that counts. You have a guy who loves you, wants to be with you forever, and spent a good chunk of change on a diamond to prove it--lucky girl! :)
I agree with you about the 'quality vs. quantity'. Good point.
I just didn't know if this was considered 'tiny' in the world of e-rings, lol.
And sometimes I wonder the same thing as you 2010bride2bee " Even still, sometimes I see these woman with these huge rocks and I wonder if they look at mine and have a little chuckle at my expense. Though who knows..."
I'm not gonna worry about it though. He loves me and that's what matters.
Before we were engaged I told him he could give me a twisty tie if he wanted to lol.
Now listen to me, I sound like a spoiled brat.
I have always wanted an eternity ring for my wedding band. I love the idea of diamonds going all the way around my finger. But, I am not a flashy person. Therefore, I asked my FI for a classic ring. He selected a solitare round 1 caret. I do get a little envious of people with bigger stones. Especially since I'm not yet married, so I can't wear the wedding band....but I know the rings together will be perfect. As 2010bride said, maybe you can jazz things up with your wedding band. Plus, there is always the diamond upgrade ;)
No you don't, I think many of us have these doubts! :)
My ring's a solitaire and it's only .38 carats. The Dude thinks big diamonds are too flashy. He actually spent way too much money on my ring because the color of the diamond is so clear! We could've gotten a bigger/less clear diamond for the same price!!
I had a nice sized ring upgrade during my first marriage. It was pretty and I was proud to wear it since it was bigger than most women I work with (only 2 of my friends are married and one doesn't wear a ring). But, my marriage sucked and my XH was a total jerk.
Now, I don't care what size ring I get as long as I get one. I can't say that I'll never feel ring size envy, but I can say I'd rather have a smaller ring and a healthy, happy realtionship.
Don't feel bad for questioning the size of your ring. It's natural to have "the grass is greener" feelings about different things. As long as you know what really matters, that's what's most important.
Mine is a 3 stone past, present, future ring. It has 11 diamonds total with a .5 ct total weight. Two of the diamonds are tiny chips and are actually hidden inside of the ring and separate the inscripted words.
It's very sparkly. I love it. I was just wondering about everyone else's :P
I definitely think the way to go is to snazz it up with your wedding band. That's what I'm doing! My diamond is an emerald cut, so it doesn't have nearly as many facets as princess and brilliant, so it doesn't sparkle as much, so I got 2 wedding bands with small brilliant cut diamonds on them to up the sparkle factor.
You shouldn't feel bad- this is an honest post, and I think it's totally normal to feel that way.
Mine is a tenth of a carat. lol. I don't even wear it cause i am so ashamed. haha. people were asking to see my ring and then they would say "ohhh" like oopps why did i ask. so i just stopped wearing it. i know it sounds so evil, but to me the ring really meant nothing. i would have been just as happy without the ring.
hey FUTUREMRSDUFF I am about to be a Mrs. Duffy =)
Also, to the OP... I don't even have a diamond as my main stone. I wanted something a little more funky and have a vintage style green amethyst and because it isn't a diamond, it was more affordable and larger (5cts) than a diamond we would get for the same price.
I think we are normal for having temporary moments of ring envy at times, but at the end of the day...would we really change anything? I don't think so, really love my ring.
I can honestly say without a doubt I'd rather have NO ring and be with FI, then have a 5 carat Tiffany ring and be in a miserable relationship.
You shouldn't feel bad about how you feel but I don't think you should worry about the size of your diamond. Mine isn't very big, either. I have super small hands, as well, my ring is a size 4 and my small diamond is perfect for my hand. I know it's hard to stop comparing your ring to other people's rings, especially when it seems like everyone has really big, expensive rings but you really shouldn't. Just get a nice wedding band or something to add sparkle. I want to get two wedding bands and put one under and one over my e-ring and I want the bands to have small diamonds 3/4 around.
I can't really snazz it up with my wedding band though because I don't know which band he is going to get me!
I think he wants it to be surprise :)
You know, SO is the one who said I want to get you at least 1 ct.... and I was like, REALLY? WOW! lol. Then... we started shopping and saw how expensive a quality 1CT Princess cut stone was. I still don't know what I'll be getting, but I keep telling him I DONT want him to spend $4,000+ on the stone. I don't need it. Shoot, he could pull it from the earth all muddy and tie it to my hand with twine and I'll be happy :-) Then again, I don't care about quality.... it's the meaning behind it that makes it special.
FI is picking your wedding band? I'm not sure I've ever heard of that before. That's cute.
Well, do some hinting now that you want something with diamonds!
okqueenbee: if you are not liking his choices, then find one you like and let him know you really want it. Don't hurt his feelings or say anything about your engagement ring, but speak up about the wedding band..... you are about to marry him, you will have a lifetime of having to speak up =)
A little jealousy is normal, I think. I was feeling a little bummed the other day about my ring (which is non-diamond and small) because I was thinking people probably just assume it's a promise ring or something, and not even an e-ring. When we picked it up from the jewelry store, they gave it to us in a ziploc bag! And this was a NICE jewelry store. A friend even outright asked how many carats it was, after I explained that we picked a ring we both liked that was in our price range and wasn't a diamond (we're poor grad student/artist and don't like diamonds for us). Sigh. I hear ya.
Sorry to go off on my own issues, I'm fine with it now... but yeah, it's the thought that counts. I wouldn't trade my fiance for anything, or when it comes down to it, my ring. :)
I would definitely suggest leaving hints for him regarding your wedding band, if you want something with a little more bling. I don't think I've ever heard of the guy picking out the wedding band on his own. My FI picked out my e-ring on his own (picked out the loose diamond and the setting) but we are definitely picking the wedding bands out together.
I have .45 solitare. I LOVE IT! I also feel like the larger rings are a bit much and I really appreciated Mr P not going deep into debt to buy my ring. We went for quality also and I'm pretty content. I don't get jealous but every once in a while someone says "your ring is pretty" and then looks at my real intent like to see my reaction- like I am supposed to say "oh but I wish it was larger". Yeah. no way.
I wish mine were a little bigger, too, but it's very high quality and the setting compliments the size of the stone.
One thing to think about--even though I still wish mine were bigger, my FI spent quite a bit on it, and he's still working on paying it off. While I love my ring and how sparkly it is, I would have loved for him not to have to still think about paying for it a year later.
Mine's .8ct. Like others have said, we could have gone much larger for what we spent. We chose quality over quantity. I think it's so worth it. I wanted something very simple and tasteful and that's what i got.
I have a solitare juuuuuuuust a bit over .5 carats. My FI did a great job getting the stone..its really good quality, and very clear!
I love it and I think its the perfect size for me!
My ring's center stone is .41 ct and has a pave setting, so the whole ring comes to 7/8 of a carat. Sometimes I see rings other girls my age (22) have and I get a little jealous that their stones are larger. But at the time FI bought mine, it was really all the money he had (since he was in grad school getting his masters and didn't have a job). And I'm really glad he was practical and didn't go into debt to get me a humungo ring.
In the end, I love my ring so much because of what it means and who it's from, so I try to focus most on that. :)
I chose my own ring and mine is a .5 carat! I didn't want a big diamond and I think it is gorgeous and it suits me! Actually to be honest most of my friends have around a .5 centre stone - but this may be a regional thing! I have heard that Canadians usually go for smaller diamonds of higher quality than Americans.
A little jealously is bound to happen but the only thing that matters if YOU love your ring! Are there diamonds with the center stone? Can you hint that you want diamonds in your wedding ring?
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