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Mine is 5/8 ct. But because of the way it is set it looks much bigger (tricky!). I would not like it if it were any bigger than it is. I don't think its superficial at all to feel the way that you do, but I agree that adding the right wedding band could make you feel better.
Those huge rocks you see might not even be real!
My 1.5 may fall into that category :) I liked the look, but we wanted to spend our $$ on other things.
Like eeniebeans, mine is set high so it looks bigger. The fact that my fingers are size 3 3/4 helps a lot, too. I NEVER have ring envy though, because my .5ct was probably more expensive than a lot of bigger rings. FI told me he looked at less expensive bigger rings but they had too many flaws. My completely colourless, flawless Canadian Diamond is perfect. This is bigger than I was ever expecting. I am a Phys Ed teacher, so I wanted something I could wear at all times without worrying about losing the diamond.
I'm new to posting here, but really glad to see this topic discussed. I wish I had a bigger ring too sometimes and am glad to hear I'm not the only one.
Mine is just over 1 carat - he went for max quality on the other 3Cs instead of buying a bigger stone. I work in finance, so all the girls have HUGE rings (like 2 carats at least). I love my FI and I'm not shallow, but just being surrounded by a completely different standard of living makes it harder sometimes.
Also, to the OP: If you feel like he would be able to afford a bigger one and wondering why he didn't go for it, I think guys don't always understand how important size can be for girls. As I found out after we got engaged, FI was going to buy me a .5 carat ring too, until his mom (who usually doesn't even like me) was like, "No, you're getting her at least a carat."
I think people talk about 1 carat (or 2, or 3...!) as if it's some magic size, but I think .5 carats is totally respectable and not at all unusual.
This is actually an interesting article if you're feeling insecure about your diamond size: http://ezinearticles.com/?Diamond-Engagement-Ring-Size---What-Is-The-Average-Carat-Weight-of-a-Diamond-Engagement-Ring-in-2008&id=1034380
I agree that you should definitely pick out ( or at least have a say in! ) your wedding band. I wanted something completely different than what my FH would have picked for me, and it was really important to me to get what I wanted. At least send him hints or something... :-)
My center stone will be a .56 and I adore it. When we went to get the ring made, the lady told us that most people get engaged with between a .25 and .75 carat ring so that put us right in the middle! Also, because we went with a smaller size, we got a much better quality. The diamond is almost colorless and only has one small inclusion. They had bigger stones but for the money it was the best stone. If we'd gone bigger, we would have had to substitute quantity for quality which just isn't worth it in my opinion.
I have no idea what the size of my ring is, but I really wanted an estate ring, something from anywhere from the 20's to the 40's. I didn't want anything large and I didn't want anything new. I actually didn't want a diamond at all. I have a serious conflict with the diamond trade and feel guilty for even wearing them.
But he totally ignored me and bought a new one. And I love it, completely. Because it was from him, and it was his gift to me and because it's gorgeous. So I mean... I guess it doesn't always to have do with size. I wonder why he didn't listen to what I wanted, did he not care what I thought? I never asked, but I do wonder. So I can see where you're coming from.
I look at my mom's ring, and the rings my aunts wear, and even of those who have been married over 20 years. While some have larger diamonds, A LOT of people have small diamonds. I don't know when things shifted (cause I'm just thrilled to finally have a ring on my finger!) but just something I noticed between that generation and mine. I have a gorgeous ring and my FI was generous, but I'd give anything to have my grandmother's ring with an almost non existent diamond. My grandfather sent it to her from France during WWII, I just love the story behind it!
Sometimes I think I should have a bigger diamond. But, in reality, it's not really me. There are some people who could care less about the quality--they just want size. Of course, my FI's co-worker had a beautiful 2-3 carat ring. She now says she'd take a coke can tab over a big rock if her marriage would last.
My center stone is just over .9 carats. But, it also has 4 side stones. I tried on some $30-50,000 rings that were very sparkly. But, you know what, mine is very shiny. I did insist on platinum. I'm an older bride (read over 40). Most people my age are considered to be well established and thus, could afford a larger stone. However, I didn't want to wear a car on my finger! I think I'm getting the matching band PLUS a very simple plain band to wear when I exercise.
I think you just have to remember that there will *always* be bigger stones, pricier dresses, more extravagent weddings ... If you're always comparing yourself to others, you'll always lose!
.5c is a very respectable size. I would argue it's close to average. And remember you can upgrade down the road too if it really bothers you a long time from now.
I left the details of the stone up to him. I know it's easy to covet other material things but I would not feel as if .5 were small. It's not. It has become more mainstream recently to have 1c but I don't think it's the norm.
He was really concerned though because a cousin of his got engaged right before us and he bought his fiancee a 2c solitare. I flat out told him "I DO NOT WANT A BIG HONKING RING!" And thankfully he listened.
I don't think you're being silly by feeling bad sometimes. It's easy to want what you don't have. I lust over the ginormo solitaires, too....ooh and aah and hope maybe someday I can have one =].
It's tough. I just figure that I have things somebody else wants and other people have things I want, whether it be a home or a good job or stable family life or whatever!
okqueen - I am in no way flaming you - you had an honest question. I read that your fiance saved up every penny and bought you your ring. I think you should be thankful for that, because in addition to what is probably a very beautiful ring, he has shown you that he is fully committed to you and being financially responsible for your future family together. I think that's wonderful!
I love my ring and it's a .5, too! Anything bigger on me just looks gaudy and gross. I have 3 stones, and I just love it too death!
Mine is .75 but it was given to us from a family member.
For a brief moment in time, I had some serious ring envy. I was very lucky in the fact that I got to have 100% input in what I wanted for my e-ring. I had always wanted a princess cut solitaire. I would have been happy with 1 ct, but my FI didn't want to feel flashy, so got me a .5 ct, which I ended up being very thankful for. My previous roomie and I used to joke about my "magical diamond" because it seemed so much bigger than .5 ct. I now agree with him that a larger diamond just wouldn't have been "me." lol But, I'm not going to lie, sometimes I see those beautiful cushion diamond rings and start drooling. Soooooo pretty....but then I remember that I would only be "temporarily" happy with a ring that was so not me..
Mine is only a quarter carat and it doesn't bother me. I love my ring. It is a beautiful, high-quality stone and I am proud that he penny-pinched on it and didn't go into debt. I would've done the same. I just can't justify spending a lot of money on something decorative when we both need new cars and are living in a crappy apartment. And even if we had a lot of extra money floating around, I probably would have wanted him to buy the same ring.
While I don't think of myself as materialistic, when it came to the ering I wanted something to accurately represent our relationship, it's permanency, and the big step we were taking.
I felt that if this was a symbol of our commitment, it better be good!
I have fat fingers. I didn't want a small stone (really anything under a carat) because I felt my fat fingers would look even fatter.
However, I wasn't set on a diamond ering. I left it up to my husband (FI at the time) to choose between a diamond, a blue sapphire, and a white sapphire.
He went with a white sapphire. It happens to be commonly used in place of diamonds because it's almost as hard/durable and about 1/10 of the cost of a similarly sized diamond.
So in the end, I got a nice big stone (if it was a diamond, it would be over a carat) with a nice, reasonable price tag!
And as for it being a symbol of our commitment, sapphires are supposed to represent fidelity and honesty- can't beat that!
So, I think, to each her own. You want a small stone- AMEN! You want a big, hand-swallowing diamond- AMEN! You don't want a ring at all- AMEN!
However, if you are unhappy with your ring, think about making a change- perhaps your wedding band could be an enhancer that could make the diamond look more substantial?
It only, really matters that it's what makes you happy.
I hear you. It's like a pissing contest except with rings.
I think if you really do like the ring and are just worried about what other people think, then you should feel fine, I don't think most people judge you on your wealth or how much your husband loves you based on ring size. In the field I'm in I know of exactly one person who even wears an enagement ring after they get married, it's just not practical. And though my hub and I have plenty saved I chose not to get a diamond.
If you're upset with it because you really want something bigger I think you need to figure out how financially reasonable you're being before bringing it up to him.
But overall, I think it's an unnecessary pissing contest to get into either way. Your FI loves you and anyone who is judging you based on the size of your ring is just immature.
I *think* mine is .47, but even though it is smaller than a lot of the women on this site, it is absolutely perfect for us. If I ever get whistful about other rings I just remember 6 months ago when I had NO ring and would have killed to get FI to propose sooner! :)
I think that if you're happy with it, it definitely doesn't matter or compare to anyone else's rings! You can also look at it as a way to build upon! For anniversaries to come, you can continue to add diamonds to it, or add another band to the outside to make a 3 band ring with your wedding band. That will pack a powerful sparkle punch!
Personally, I'm more for sparkle than size! There's nothing more beautiful than a ring that sparkles! Doesn't matter what kind of stone, how many or how big...but that sparkle is what's eye catching!
my stone--which is from fi's grandma's engagement ring--is about .7 carats, and honestly, i think it looks huge! i wouldn't want anything else, i think it's perfect. i didn't really have any expectations though beforehand--not many of my friends are engaged or married yet, and my mom never had an engagement ring. i love that it's an heirloom
It's definitely human nature to covet what others have, especially when other people make you feel like what you have isn't 'up to par'. I have a diamond solitare ring and the stone is .28ct. I love it, it represents our engagement and the fact that he picked something out with me in mind. I guess I am too practical to care about these things!
mine is under a caret like .96 or something like that, for some reason you say A LOT of money if it's under an caret ^_^ like hundreds of dollars, it feel really good about it because it's almost just as big with a way lower price. I guess it depends what you value. Also it's the thought that counts. ^_^ I think in the end it won't matter too much, you will probably opt to not wear your engagement ring anymore after a few years. most of the women at my office stop wearing their engagement ring after kids, and now they just wear their bands. so with all the money you saved on the engagement ring, you could get a really nice band. ^_^
When we designed my ring, everyone kept telling me to pick a bigger stone- I'm glad that I didn't, what I have fits and looks right on my hand. I chose a sapphire that is somewhere around 0.3 ct. I figured that the size works for me and if it were bigger/higher profile then there would be a better chance for me to damage or fracture the stone. I'm happy with the decision I made.
I have a 3 stone setting. I *think* the center stone is ,75, but it might be that all 3 together are .75 (it's been over a year since we got engaged and apparently this is not a fact that has stuck in my mind ^_^). It has a super sparkly band with miniscule diamond chips and milgrain that reflect the light like crazy. So though carat-wise my ring isn't all that much, the sparkliness makes people think it's bigger and my friends tease me about my insane shiny ring. ^_^
There are always judgey people out there. I had a heinous coworker "reassure" me right after we got engaged that by the time Mr Spin and I get married he could probably afford a ring upgrade (I told her, "oh, I don't think I could ever change it. I'm really happy with the ring I have" and stared her down till she walked away. biotch) but you know, anyone who judges your ring is just a hater. I wouldn't feel bad about moments of envy, we all have those about something, like awesome jewelry, nice cars, nice apartments. Human nature. ^_^
It doesn't matter if it's a big ring or a smaller sized stone or even what stone it is. I've seen a gorgeous ring lately that was .45 set in platinum and it seriously sparkled across the room at me from the hand of a girl I know. It's gorgeous.
My sister has over a 2 ct ring and it's gorgeous too. It's not overdone, it's a fabulous stone in good taste and I love it. It's whatever your budget and style is.
Like I always say, big or small, it's the heart of the person giving the engagement ring and the size of their heart is what matters.
I'll be a bigger stoned gal too most likely and that's just my preference and it's easily in his budget. But that's us. If he gives me something smaller, then fine too :)
I think that the almost .5 stone my friend had was just so full of fire that it literally looked alive on her hand! So pretty :)
Mine is 5/8 carats and sometimes I wish it was bigger. FI really wants to trade it in for a completely different ring. He says this was just to surprise me with. However, I love my ring. Its not the best quality either...it has a flaw and is not colorless, but it was the ring he proposed with and he bought for me trying to make me happy. I told him we could switch out the diamond later if he wanted instead of buying a totally different ring, but that is just to stall him some more. ;) Truth is, with my 1st husband I had a beautiful ring with lots of beautiful diamonds and got compliments on it everywhere I went. Well, let me tell you the ring sure didn't make the marriage last longer! LOL you should defnitely be happy with your ring though. I think once you get your band or an enhancer you might change your mind. I also have a friend that used to complain about wanting a bigger ring and she was telling em just the other day that it has grown on her and she doesn't want a bigger one anymore.
My FI posed a question to me- he could get me a 1.5 carat diamond that wasn't certified conflict-free, or he could get me a .5 carat diamond that was certfied conflict-free (they are much more expensive to get a true conflict-free diamond, generally they are canadian). Even though it was smaller, the choice was clear- there was no way that I could choose the bigger one knowing all of the horrible things that go on in the diamond trade.
The bigger the diamond, the (likely) worse human rights issues that have occurred to get it, so if you have a smaller diamond, better for your conscience!
You know, I love how absolutely sweet everyone is being on this thread, telling you to not worry about it.
But I'm going to agree with you. I grew up in an area where huge rings are the norm, where they're not only okay but expected, and you're looked down upon if you don't have a huge rock. Some of the diamonds my mom's friends have are absolutely insane. And I'm marrying a preacher who wants to be a professor. My ring? Is not even going to be big (when I finally get it). And it bothers me to the nth degree. That might be terrible, but it's true. I totally feel ya.
Don't have time to read all the replies, but I just wanted to say that I think it's great that you felt comfortable enough to post this! :) And since you did, I should...
We didn't talk about rings or ANYTHING before he proposed. I had ideas of what I wanted, but had not communicated them to my FI. He proposed with a beautiful white gold solitaire, but what I really wanted was a vintage-y halo ring, possibly in rose gold. Veeery different. I've NEVER told anyone that, and will NEVER tell anyone in real life. I've grown to love my ring, because of what it sybolizes, blah blah blah (It's so trite, but true). AND I get to pick my wedding band, which will incorporate some more of those unique ideas I originally thought would be in my e-ring.
I guess my point is that I had similar feelings, and they went away. And yours probably will too. 
I have a .5 ct ring too, and yes, it is somewhat smaller than a lot of my friends' rings. But when I look at their rings, I always think of how many other things I could I purchased with the expense that went into that ring! And really, at the end of the day I know that the love of my life spent as much as he really could to get me something beautiful, and he loves me just as much as my 2 ct friend's hubby loves her. :)
My grandparents were married for 49 years, and all they had were plain gold bands. The size of the ring doesn't determine the quality of the relationship. I think you've got a great guy for getting you something high quality and undoubtedly beautiful.
See? You're not alone!
The concerns you have about your ring, I have about my dress. I chose it because it's exactly what I've always known I wanted. However, it's very different from your average wedding dress. It's very plain and simple. No detailing, no beading, no lace. Just plain silk shantung from top to bottom.
And that's what I wanted. But when I see what other women are wearing, when I used to flip through wedding magazines (read: "used to"), I started to second guess myself. I felt like I'm going to look different from what people expect.
The best thing I did was put aside everything that was going on around me and instead focus my energies on what I want, what my fiance wants, and to put the importance on our marriage, not our wedding.
If I upgraded my dress at this point, I know that I would feel like I was turning on myself. I would miss the simplicity of what I have.
If you upgraded your ring based on what you see around you, do you think you would miss the simple beauty of what your fiance chose for you?
My ring is a .55.. I LOVE IT!!!! Before we got engaged he asked me what I was looking for in a ring. I told him the stone clarity and color were pretty important and size really was not. My ring may only be .55 but it is the best in color, clarity and cut. That is what matters to me. He could have gotten me a bigger one but the quality of the diamond would not have been what I have now.
i think this is a very important thread!
@bvig: i agree that rings and diamonds and size become a pissing contest!
remember that diamonds and engagement rings are big business. flashy rings and big stones usually cost more money and that works just fine for the jewelry industry. it's marketing and unfortunately we are all pretty good at falling for it. the worst part is that we (as a society in general, not anyone specifically here) become part of the problem by expecting big and shiny and expensive rings and are disappointed when we get something else (more meaningful and beautiful). i can't help but compare it to body image. we all want to be a size 2 but the average woman is much larger than that. where does this expectation come from? marketing!
remember that the average cost of a U.S. diamond engagement ring is more than the annual salary for some people around the world!
alright...i'm steppin' off the soapbox now.
I'm glad you posted this because I can definitely relate. My ring is a solitaire a little over 2 carats and it's ridiculous for me to even think about but at one point that didn't seem big enough to me! I definitely got swept away in the 'bigger is better' mentality when we were shopping and it took me a while to get back down to earth. I think it was a mixture of things happening like a knew a ton of girls with bigger stones, we went shopping at tiffany and they kept putting larger stones on my finger, etc. Luckily I snapped back to reality before the proposal. But he was always set on getting me a stone that size, so I thankfully didn't influence him at all.
Now? I'm experiencing the opposite critisizm you are. ESpecially when we go home to visit one of our families, the ring is perceived as way extravagant and people either don't comment on i or give an exaggerated "woah, that's huge!" It kind of hurts, but this thread proves you can't please everyone and you have to do what's best for you because at the end of the day it's just about your love for each other.
Yes! I agree that it's a pissing contest too. My e-ring's center stone is over a carat, with total weight of 1.55 or so. But I think all of my married friends have rings that are larger than mine, several of them over 2 carats for the center stone. Of course, I think that's completely absurd, and I LOVE my ring, but I could tell after we first got engaged what a couple of them were thinking. Whatever. :-P It's YOUR ring, it's a symbol of your FI's love for you and your marriage-to-be, and that's all that matters. :-)
Mine is a half carat as well, but I don't have ring envy. Don't get me wrong, when I see big honkin' diamonds I too am like oooooo so pretty. However I think my ring suits me. Its modest and the style is classic. When I look at my great gma's ring, which as a very small diamond, I think about how special it must be to her after wearing it for almost 70 years, not any of the material aspects.
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