- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
@adrndack I don't think bigger rings are less meaningful... that's just as bad as saying smaller rings are less meaningful.
I think I may have a double standard with rings and I'm sorry if this offends someone, because I'm just now realizing it. If someone has less than a carat (Like I will, more than likely) I think it's okay if they're a little disappointed. But when someone with a ring larger than, say, 1.5 carats starts complaining about how they don't like their ring, I kind of start thinking they're a brat. You can say "oh that's just what I'm used to seeing" but... it's what I'm used to seeing on my friends, too. I guess I mentall put a limit on how big I'd logically go. Emotionally, sure, it's a "mine is bigger" contest, but I also know I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing something that big.
I think it is best to leave room size-wise for an upgrade on an anniversary somewhere down the line. It's very common to get a smaller stone initially, then swap it out for a more sizeable one when it's more reasonable for you to afford it. Although I love the look of 1.5 -2 carat stones for my finger, I don't think I want one larger than around the 1 ct mark for this very reason. And that's only because I want a solitaire... my future MOH has a .55 stone on a 3 stone setting and hers looks perfect.
About the wedding band...can you ask your FI if you could design it together? (also very common and somewhat traditional, a girl's gotta have some say in this stuff after all!!)
My ring is 0.41 carats, round cut, and I LOVES it. Don't get too stressed out about the size. Sometimes we all feel jealous or resentful, and we can't help it. The point is to recognize the feelings, address them (like you are doing here), and move on.
If FI picked the ring out out for you, ask him what stood out for him about that specific ring that made it special. For example, my FI chose the ring on its own because it wouldn't snag on my latex gloves at work (see the ring here http://www.spencediamonds.com/ring-style-2022). If he bought one that you picked out, but the diamond was simply smaller, I would probably do my best to let it pass. It doesn't mean he loves you any less (I know you know that though!)
I hope my post didn't come off as rude or condescending. I really want to keep Wedding Bee a supportive place!
I said the same thing about not wanting a ring bigger than .5 carat because my hands are small. Turns out, the setting my fiance picked out looked weird with the diamond he originally picked out (.75 carat) so he upgraded to a carat for the center stone. i love it because he did it all by himself, but I don't know if I would have picked out that big a stone for myself... maybe I would have, who knows?
The important part is that YOU like your ring. And i sounds like you do. Don't worry - it's only natural to wonder about the size of other people's rings. We're only human!
IMHO, ring envy never goes away! Before I got engaged I found myself checking out every ring I could - women driving next to me in traffic, in line at the grocery store, big rocks, small rocks, etc.
Now that I'm engaged with a diamond on the bigger end of the spectrum, I STILL find myself looking at everyone's hands. Last night I was hanging out with a friend of mine that has a diamond the same size as mine and it's a style I'd never go for, but I still couldn't stop myself from catching a few glimpses.
I think that all engagement rings are beautiful no matter what the size and I would never judge someone for their ring. It's a symbol of your future together, not of status. Be happy with what you have and know that there are plenty of people like me checking out your bling!
In my first marriage, I had a 2.75 carat diamond. I spent years worrying about losing it, or losing the stone, or having someone mug me to get it, etc. Plus, after watching "Blood Diamond," I have all sorts of social issues with the focus on diamond engagement rings.
This time, NotFroofy and I agreed not to have engagement rings at all. Our wedding rings are plain gold bands, with no stones at all. And I'm totally thrilled with this state of affairs.
My center stone is .71 and the total weight (I have a micropave setting) is .90. Sometimes I wish for something a touch bigger, not by much, but something closer to 1 carat. Some days I look at it and it does seem a bit small. I understand how you feel. I also get what you are saying about feeling like your FI penny pinched. Even though I know this is what he could afford, I sometimes have fleeting moments of envy of girls who's FI's took out big loans to get them the big rock. Like I said, fleeting moments, since we definitely don't need a lot of debt and he is doing it the responsible way. But I think its totally normal to have those feelings!
I have a .5 and at first I felt the same way as you.
I was even more furious with my fiance because he did not consult my gf's about what I would like for my e-ring. At the time when he bought it he was a student, working full-time. With whatever he made, he doubled his month's pay and bought the ring. He, also, did studied all of the diamonds and rather than going bigger with less quality, he went smaller with the best quality he can find.
Long story short, for the longest time I wrestled with the thought of how I wanted something else...at the same time, I disliked myself for thinking such a way. We kept going back and forth about if we should upgrade or change the setting. However, I did not want to get rid of the diamond he put his everything into.That was 2 years ago...now we are finally engaged! And I couldn't be more happy with the ring. He ended up saving up more money and got me a beautiful setting that extenuated my .5 carat diamond. I absolutely love it!!!! Some of my friends have diamonds that are big as my middle finger nail! However, I know that my ring is just as valuable as theirs. No ring is less or more.
So enjoy your ring!! :) I;ve seen huge diamonds with poor quality...even though it is big, there was no shine to it. Although it may be smaller than what you expected, it still outshines many others out there. Also, remember...even the people who have huge diamonds...they always want something better. That is just human nature.
i don't have a solitaire!
my fiancee bought me a diamond wedding band as my engagement ring because we are both in school and can't afford expensive stuffs. but i don't mind, because, despite how little money we had, he insisted on buying a diamond band for me.
so if it makes you feel better, mine is not 0.5ct and not even a solitaire :)
congratulations on your engagement! i'm sure your ring looks beautiful on you :)
Is it weird that I never get ring envy? I think its because I didn't really have any specific idea in mind of the perfect ring, I don't really wear jewelry and never have, and I don't like diamonds (the trade, the colorlessness of them, the over-pricing).
I have no idea what carat weight my center stone (peridot) is, nor the six tiny diamonds on the band. It probably cost less than $500 and we have enough money saved up to probably put 50% down on a house, so we're not hurting for cash. We just think there are more important things than jewelry to spend money on (no judgements on others, just the way we roll!).
My husband picked my ring out completely on his own and gave it to me with all his heart and any other ring is just that: a ring. Its not MINE. Mine is special, just like yours is special!
I think the new trend of ring shopping together really sets us up for disappointment (this is just my observation, don't hate me). Imagine gifts you receive that you picked out vs. gifts that were total surprises. There is something about being completely surprised that makes me so satisfied. When you say "Oh I only want a .5 ct ring," maybe you are secretly, subconsciously hoping to be surprised with a larger stone.
I asked my hubby what made him pick the ring he got me. He said matter-of-factly "Because its green." I love green.
You should never feel ashamed for having a concern like this and venting it to your peers. If you were vocal with your fiance about it; complaining, nagging, etc, then there might be a problem. But you love him and are considerate towards his feelings and that's great.
I have a .76 carat ring, and though I was never a girl to wear jewelry and to bother being concerned if HE WENT TO JARED ZOMG, I was a little underwhelmed when I got my ring. I'd say that feeling lingered for about a month until the ring stopped being a material piece of jewelry and began to just be a symbol of our commitment, and I really couldn't be happier with it now. So my advice is just to give it time.
Perhaps if it still bothers you on your anniversary you can upgrade ;)
But I think you'll be ok :)
I am a biologist and I am constantly either doing field work or involved in messy situations. Plus expensive jewelry has always made me nervous. I specifically requested nothing larger than .5 ct and that's what I got! It's a leo diamond and gorgeous!!
I have a ring with a center stone smaller than 1 ct, with more stones around the band that makes the whole ring over 1.5 ct, but if I'm being completely honest, sometimes I do feel ring envy when I see rings with center stones that are larger than mine. I'm being honest.
.....But then I have to remind myself all the reasons why we picked the ring out that we did and why we decided to go with a smaller stone in the middle, and I do love the ring and the setting and the sparkle. But, I'm trying to be honest here!
Also, there are people at my work with HUGE rings. One person in particiular has what must be a 3+ ct center stone diamond with two rows of diamonds on her engagement ring, and then her wedding ring is another two rows of diamonds. I have never seen a ring like that before and if I had to guess, it probably cost upwards of $20,000 (and the couple is in their 20s) so sometimes, it is hard not to get a little envious when I see it sparkling on her hand.
My diamond is very small, too. It's .32 carats, but the color, cut and clarity are the highest you can get.
Sometimes, I definitely wish I had a larger center stone because my fingers are chubby and it sometimes makes my fingers look bigger than they are. And I live in a major city where I see so many wealthy ladies' rings that are huge on my way to work every day. And yeah, I sometimes think, "Gosh, I wonder what they think of my ring?"
But then I remember I'm being silly, and I'm lucky to even have a ring. There's always the option of an upgrade later in life. Paula Deen did! Haha.
This thread is really opening my eyes. I guess I have a completely different culture in the group of people I hang out with, probably due in large part to the small number of us who have gone down the engagement path (despite being in our late 20s). My FI got his mother's original engagement stone (she, like so many women her age, has upgraded LIKE WHOA) set in a Hearts On Fire micropave setting in white gold. The solitaire is .5 carat; I forget how much the other 54 teeny diamonds add up to. When I got it I was blown away, I thought it was so amazing and sparkly and fancy that people would look at me like I was materialistic or bratty for owning such a shiny bauble! I honestly felt a little guilty when I showed it to people at first, like they'd wonder why I didn't get a non-diamond stone instead. I had no idea that .5 carats was considered small! Haha, the more you know. Well I love mine because I adore that it's my FI's mother's stone, and that he wouldn't put it on my finger until I agreed to pass the stone onto our daughter or daughter-in-law when they get married, and I love that he managed to pick out the setting without ANY input from me. It was a total surprise, and I LOVE it, even though I'm insanely picky and FI knows nothing about style.
I picked out a micropave wedding band to go with it, and again I find myself worrying that people will judge me for having something covered in diamonds instead of a simple little band. I think it goes to show that we all worry about being judged by other people and that often, it's for ridiculous reasons. I'll make an effort to think less about what other people think now. Hopefully you can find yourself able to do the same!
I understand how you feel. He got me a .3 carat at first but then it fell out of the setting and for our trouble we got a .5 carat stone set in a more secure setting. I didn't like the new setting so we put a pave one on layaway and reset the stone. To be honest, we eventually are going to upgrade the stone to a larger one but it will end up as the ring he would've wanted to give me if we were students at the time. So, it's evolving. But yes, I seem to notice girls on the bus ect. who dress pretty shabby but still have larger stones. I do envy those big beautiful rings and I have no shame that we are moving in that direction. Since we're doing it in steps we've not been acruing debt and that is also nice.
on_my_finger.jpg (47.7 KB, 30 downloads) 2 years old 
I think I said this before, but I'm really shocked that it is the norm in some places to think 0.5 might be too small. People here (the UK) just do not get rings that size - but diamonds are more expensive outside the US and that is likely why.
Thanks everyone for your differing responses and viewpoints! I love my ring now, just like I did when he gave it to me, because it's from HIM.
Although it might be slightly smaller than some, the clarity is magnificent and it is SUPER sparkly. I am serious when I say I have not seen a sparklier ring on anyone else, but then again, I don't necessarily go around inspecting other ladies rings either :P
I have had several compliments on it, and how sparkly it is, and even without the compliments I am 100% satisfied with it.
I might have questioned the size at first, but I am SO over that. My hubby is the best, and he did his best picking it out. Love him!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
