Please, has anyone else experienced this?

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Why don’t you just give yourself some time? Don’t get pregnant now if you don’t want another child now! Wait a while; see how you feel in a year or two. Having two children close in age does not guarantee that they will be close emotionally, that’s more about their personalities than anything else. And if you decide not to have a second child, that’s fine! Only children are awesome.

Post # 3
Member
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Jonesishere:  I wouldn’t try again unless you’re sure. I’ve always wanted two as well but getting #1 had been an emotional road and I won’t choose that road again. If it happens, great. If it doesn’t I can’t see myself putting all that energy into it. It wouldn’t be fair on #1. What’s helped me be happy with this is the fact that DH is an only child. He grew up with his cousins. He also had lots of close friends. His parents brought cousins / friends on holidays. He is happy being an only child and is incredibly close to his parents. We holiday with them twice a year. I think your LO will have a very happy childhood with or without a sibling x

Post # 4
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

Jonesishere:  “I’m getting ready to try and get pregnant and I’m only doing it so that my daughter have a sibling.”

STOP!  Please do not bring another life into this world just to keep your “real” baby company.  Come on!  I find this so offensive.

I’m an only child and I have no idea where this whole “They’ll be lonely” thing comes into play.  I just do not get it.  I watched my mom come home from work sometimes crying because people at her job would give her shit for having an only child.  One woman told her that’s basically “child abuse”  What a horrendous and ignorant statement to make!

I’m sorry OP – I want to be supportive but I’m just really angry.  How can you think it’s ok to do that? 

Post # 5
Member
20 posts
Newbee

I would just wait to have another child. I’m an only child with a single mom and I never felt that I needed another sibling for company. I have always had family and friends, which is enough. My advice would be not to worry about it and wait til you’re ready.

Post # 6
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

I shouldn’t have exploded like that.  Sorry OP.  It really touched a nerve.  I hope your figure it out

Post # 8
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

Jonesishere:  well I never really understood the concept of boredom as a child.  When I reached my pre teen years I would complain of boredom which my mother would always respond “only the boring are bored.”  Haha.  I was an incredible book worm and had a vivid imagination.  The only negative I have found out of the experience is that  I think I held onto grudges quite a bit and took longer to understand and grasp that soemtims shit is just unfair.  my husband has lots of siblings and I think there is a lot to be learned from fighting with siblings.  You get over shit faster which I think is valuable.  Again sorry I got so pissed.  I’m sure you’re a good person

Post # 9
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m an only child and it was awesome. My mom and I are incredibly close. I have tons of friends (who have become family to Me – Some of whom have been my friends for 30+ years). I don’t ever recall being lonely or bored because I didn’t have siblings. I actually really like being an only child 🙂

Post # 11
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Glasgowbound:  this was pretty much exactly what I was going to write. I love being an only child! Even at 43 and counting 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Derp:  I’m an only child too. I agree with you. Only children don’t think that being only children is odd. In fact, I watch my husband interact with his siblings and find the whole thing odd. 

Post # 13
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

MammaPants:  Sometimes my husband and his brother will fight over something stupid and after about a day they say their sorries and go on with their lives.  I’m like “But aren’t you still upset?” and he’s like “No – we fight all the time.  We still love each other.  He’s still my best friend”

I love that he and his family put each other first and don’t hold grudges but for me, it’s like, I’d be upset for months!

Post # 14
Member
602 posts
Busy bee

I personally think that having an additional child just to benefit your current child is a bad idea. People should only have children when they want them (and can adequately support them, but that’s a rant for another thread). 

I’m an only child and I’ve never wanted a sibling. I’ve always had plenty of friends to entertain me so I never felt like I was lacking anything. I feel like too many people have kids thinking that their children are going to be the best of friends when they’re older but that’s not always the case. Actually, I know more siblings that either don’t get along or just deal with each other than those who are super close. 

Post # 15
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Jonesishere:  I’m sure once or twice is i wanted a sibling, but it never lasted long (like less than a day). Being an only child was awesome. im 39 now and still like it. 

Land having siblings doesn’t mean that they get along. I have some friends who adore their siblings and they get along great. I have other friends who hate their siblings and don’t talk to them. Just being related doesn’t mean you’ll LIKE each other. Which is why picking your “family”, like you can as an only child, was terrific! 

I just had a baby last weekend, and she’s got sooooo many “aunties”. None of them are blood related, but they love her as if they were 🙂

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