(Closed) Please Help!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Is it possible to see if she would like to ask someone you both know to stand in her place? This way it will appear she i looking for her own replacement ( with your permission of course). Or you could just go one less BM.

Post # 4
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Lots of people have ueven wedding parties, why not just let her stay and if she needs to drop out later let her.

Post # 5
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

I think you should keep her on and consider dropping a groomsman. it would be offensive to her to ask her to step down and offensive to anyone you would like to step in in her place. Consider also that the honorary BM would have to purchase their dress and jewelry and while they might understand the terms in the beginning, may not be willing to relinquish their title.

Post # 6
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

why is it necessary to replace her if she can’t make it? I’d feel horrible if i was asked to be a fill-in bridesmaid

Post # 7
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d say just stick with her and see what happens. If you have uneven sides at the wedding so be it.

Post # 8
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I honestly would not ask anyone else nor would I drop a groosman.  It is not necessary to have your sides even. If you felt close enough to ask her I would stick with your decision and not ask anyone else later on if for some reason she can’t make it.  The wedding party is about having people stand with you that love and care for you not having certain numbers on each side.  I personally have to two and my fi has 3. 

Post # 9
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t do anything to be honest. If she can be there as a bridesmaid that would be great! If she can’t I wouldn’t ask any one to be a fill-in because that could open an entirely new can of worms, and I wouldn’t ask her to step down because that has the potential to damage your friendship I think. I have seen weddings with uneven parites and it looks fine to me, but that is just a preference. It’s your wedding day and you have to do what you like best!

Post # 10
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

@Ms_Harley_Quinn:  In all fairness, your BM is in school and schools do not post their final exam schedules until the beginning of each semester.  So your BM would have no feasible way of telling you whether she would have a conflict until her exam schedule came out.  

Having said that, I think you should keep her as a BM.  I think it would be one thing if she volunteered to step down due to her academic studies, but that doesn’t seem to be the case, and I think it would be hurtful and rude to her if you asked her to step down because of a potential conflict that neither party has control over that won’t even be determined to be a conflict until January of next year.  Plus, it’s possible that your BM could get her finals rescheduled (I don’t know what the requirement for rescheduling a final is) or potentially pick her classes so they wouldn’t have conflicting final exam times. 

Post # 11
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I feel ya! I’m having a similar dilemma but I guess thats for another post. I think its best to decide now so as not to make anyone feel like she was second choice. (I should listen to my own advice) And she shouldn’t expect you to hold her spot until next year if she has already accepted. She should step down and if she is able to make it, come as a guest. It should take the pressure off of her anyway, in regards to school and finacially. Can the dress you bought for her go to the cousin who would replace her? And if can’t ask her to step down and she backs out at the last minute, an uneven bridal party is just fine. But you might be stuck with an extra dress. Its probably best to sort this out now, though I know its a touchy subject. Best of luck!

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