(Closed) Please help!!!!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1657 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Oh man… I would say to do what you and your Fiance want. I know that family is a big (well, huge) part of your life, but you need to be able to come out of the wedding without too much debt. 

Post # 4
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Who’s paying for the wedding?  If Future Mother-In-Law is paying for it and you’re not contributing, then she gets a much larger say in the decisions.  If you two are paying for it yourselves, then you’ve got a lot more control over this situation.  Sounds like he doesn’t want to elope, which is fair – it’s not for everyone.  Assuming you’re paying for things, stop involving her in every decision you make.  She doesn’t need all the details.  If she attacks your choices, just smile and say ‘oh, thank you for your input’, and ignore her.  Another tactic I’ve used is give her selective choices.  For example, if you’re looking at bouquets, narrow it to your top few, and then ask her opinion.  She’ll feel involved, and you’ll still get what you want. 

Another option is doing a Destination Wedding, and paying for immediate family to go with.  It’s pricey, but less so than a large, traditional wedding.  There’s a lot of resorts out there that take care of 99% of the planning for you, all you have to do is show up in a pretty dress.  That way, the most important people will be there, and you’ll get a honeymoon.

Post # 5
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@jatobe:  Second wedding means Future Mother-In-Law already had the chance to see her son have the traditional wedding so you two should be in the clear to elope.  I would just plan to elope with the kids and then throw a backyard party to tell everyone when you get home.  So much less stressful!

Post # 7
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@jatobe:  Eloping isn’t selfish!

Post # 8
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012


Post # 9
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Elope and then as a peace offering you could ask your Future Mother-In-Law if she would throw you a little celebration party when you get back. That way she still feels like shes a part of everything.

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