Post # 1
I am in dire need of help from fellow bees! I am not the kind of girl who has thought about a wedding since I was little but I do want my bridesmaids to feel special but I have no idea how! I have only been to 2 weddings but obviously not gone through the process so I don’t really know what bridesmaids need or are expected to do….
I am very early in my process and really want to ask my friends and sisters to be bridesmaids in a fun, creative way. I really like the idea of the bridesmaid survival box but am not sure what they need. I found one post that was awesome, but haven’t been able to find it since
I will be having 4-5 bridesmaids — depending on how many groomsmen are going to be in it. I will definitely have my sister as my maid of honor, and his 3 sisters as bridesmaids and then I have one close friend in mind to be another bridesmaid…
I need help from people who are further in the process or have come up with ways to ask their friends to be bridesmaids. What should go in a bridesmaid survival box?? What do they need?? I really want some ideas of little cards and what to write on them – like what do I expect from them? (which I don’t know what to expect from them because WE ARE LITERALLY JUST NOW PLANNING) so that’s my problem. I want something witty to say to them like let’s go try on dresses…etc. — however, I’m wearing my mom’s dress but we’re still trying on dresses to see what style I like because were making alterations to my mom’s dress and taking the sleeves off, etc…
I JUST NEED HELP!!!
Post # 3
Post # 4
I LOVE THIS IDEA…IT IS JUST SO RANDOM
Post # 5
Here is what I did… I hand made them all with a little scrapbook paper some stickers and markers.
All I ask is that you
Go dress shopping with me
Help me plan and keep my sanity
Remind me to have a good time
And wish me well after I say “I do” (this one has two palm trees and I drew a hamock between them)
Post # 6
That’s so sweet that you want to do something nice for your bridesmaids! You sound like a good friend. Since you don’t have much experience with bridal parties (this can be a good thing!), I just wanted to make a couple of suggestions as you start to navigate these new relationships:
– Decide for yourself what kind of pre-wedding involvement you are hoping/expecting the girls to have and ask friends if it’s reasonable. The weekly wedding help and even dress fitting attendance that we see on tv is rare and usually over the top.
– Read some of the “drama” posts that brides/bridesmaids have written about each other here and read the comments. Often the bride had the tv-style expectations and it was causing a lot of friction. The bees usually give pretty sensible advice and perspective. So you can get the advice and avoid the drama!
– Bridal parties don’t have to have even numbers with the grooms! If you really want that extra friend to be involved because you’re close, then ask her. One groomsman can escort 2 women (and he’ll probably have a big smile on his face too).
Congrats on your engagement!
Post # 7
This is what I did! There was a little note inside that said:
“Now it’s my turn to POP the question! Will you be my bridesmaid?”
Post # 9
thanks!! these are soe great ideas! I think I’m going to mix and match some of these ideas and hopefully it will work out 🙂
Post # 10
These are all great ideas! I actually just bought these to send in a box with a little note that says “I said yes, now its your turn. Will you be my bridesmaid?” And they were under $3 each.
Post # 11
That’s a really cute idea too! I went to Michaels and got (everything in 4 – 1 for each bridesmaid) white box – kind of looks like a jewelry box, stencils, paint marker, ribbon and then I got fake wedding-like flowers, styrofoam, bubbles, and a ring pop at the dollar tree.
I used the stencils and paint marker and said “I said YES…” on the top of the box and “you should too!!” on the inside of the box and then put the styrofoam one small area of the box, put a slit in it, and put the ring pop in it and then put the flower and bubbles in and then I’m going to the ABC store and getting airplane bottles of their favorite alcohol and putting that inside too with a cute little card
Post # 12
@Taylor25: My responses will be focused entirely on the practical, and I think you are interested in emo girly-girl stuff. Whatever.
Given the number of times people here complain about what their bridemaids are not doing for them, I think that you need to be very clear in your invitation what your expectations are. Being a bridesmaid is kind of a mix of job appopintment and friend annoitment.
Be clear in your mind what you expect. Can you convey that?
Personally, I’d keep my expectations to a minimum such as: she will buy a dress (unless you are paying for that) she will show up at the church for a rehersal and you invite her to dinner afterwards; she will show up at the church for the wedding and attend the reception afterwards.
That job seems pretty basic, but if you expect more, you may need to articulate it.
edited to add: I see that someone else said pretty much the same thing (physicsbride–Leave it to a science chick for practical info!) Gads, I’m glad that I’m not the only killjoy. haha, kidding.
Post # 13
@FauxPas2012: I’d tend to agree with this. I’ve often wondered if girls feel more obligated to say yes to being a bridesmaid when they are asked with a thoughtful gift. It feels like less of a question when done that way. What about asking them in person or on the phone and giving them time to respond? Then when they say yes, you can still do the same gift, but with a twist: “I can’t say I do without my girls! Thanks for being my bridesmaid!”
Post # 14
I made cards similar to these (link to Etsy, not my shop) and wrote a note inside telling them how much it would mean to me, then mailed them. They loved them! One of my bridesmaids cried, the other made me a super cute hand-made card and sent it back. I just asked my MOH face to face because we were talking and I realized I needed to clue her in for the conversation to make sense.
These were great for my girls. They might have felt a kit was a little over the top and it just wasn’t “me” with how “cute” some of the ideas are. I’m a little more sarcastic. Plus, I wasn’t 100% sure they were going to be able to accept due to other obligations in their lives, so I wanted them to be able to think it over before having to give me an answer.
My cards said “You’ll Wear it Again (Let’s Be Serious)” and “You’ll Wear it Again (Okay, Maybe Not)” – the Let’s Be Serious was to a girl who gets my sense of humor a little more, I didn’t want it to be confusing for the other one (future SIL).
Then the inside said “Will you be my bridesmaid?”
Post # 15
@FauxPas2012: I have no idea what you mean by emo girly-girl stuff or how you could think that just by me just asking how to ask my sisters/friends to be bridesmaids…so not sure what you mean.
Also my question is about how to ask them to be bridesmaids not be some bridezilla giving off orders. I am having a very low-key, simple wedding and they aren’t expected to do anything but be at the wedding. I’m not a huge wedding person and definitely not the type of person to go crazy over the top on something like this. Being a bridesmaid shouldn’t feel like a job.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza
I didn’t do bridesmaid boxes, but I can share what I did for a different idea.
My ladies and I all live quite a distance from one another, so I wasn’t able to ask them in person.
All four of us were roommates in college and did everything together. I ended up making a slideshow using kizoa.com with tons of pictures of the four of us and made up a poem about memories we all shared to go along with the pictures. I then emailed it to them and waited for responses. They all LOVED it and said it made them cry.
Then, I was actually able to see them at my engagement party. I got cute photo albums in my wedding color and made each girl an album. I did about 50 pictures per album and left the other half blank. I included a card with each album that said:
We had some of the best times, in college it’s true
And so I’ve included those pictures of me and you.
Already so many memories we’ve made,
But I look forward to many more exciting days
And so I give you the pictures of us two,
But leave you room for some from the day I say, “I Do”
It was something like that. I forgot to save it, but you get the general idea.