Post # 1
So my FI and I have been trying to set a date for our wedding, and one of the largest factors is figuring out when we would realistically afford to move out together. A few people (close to me) have been telling me that it is better to buy than to rent. I’ve done lots of research and I understand the pros and cons of buying and of renting. I know that buying is a good option, but there are just ever so many fees that come with it. I think it would at least take us 3 years to save up enough money to buy a house and afford to upkeep it.
Those few people who are telling us to buy say, “Renting is a complete waste of money. You are just throwing all your money away if you rent. If you can’t afford to buy a house straight up, then you aren’t ready to get married. You should only get married if you can afford to buy a house.”
Between me and my FI, I have the more substantial job, but I am a freelancer so it is difficult to predict exactly how much I will make in a year. It is not perfectly set. This is why I am not sure when we would be able to afford to buy a house. But honestly we don’t want to wait another 3 years to get married just because we can’t buy a house. We are ready to get married and we are not financially in trouble or anything, but I think we would prefer to rent and save up money slowly for a house in the future. I should also probably mention that living with either set of parents is not an option for us unfortunately. So our only options are to not get married until we buy a house or to get married and rent until we can buy a house.
Is this uncommon? That is, is it uncommon for married couples to rent for a while before buying a house?
Post # 3
@sommertime: “You should be able to buy a house before you get married?” I think that is ridiculous. If you live in a place that homes start in the 500s, especially if you’re both young, I don’t see how that would be possible. I don’t think you should put off marriage for buying a home! If you cannot afford a home right now, I would rent (which is what SO and I are doing), save in the meantime, and when the market and your finances are right (and you know you can settle in that geographic area relatively permanently) then yes, buy. Buying a home should not affect getting married. Personally, I wouldn’t feel comfortable buying a house with someone that I wasn’t married to (even if we were planning on getting married). To me, the marriage commitment comes before the financial commitment.
Post # 4
As a homeowner ,I whole heartedly reccomend renting, espeically if you are not completely well off financially. Having a fixed amount to pay will make your wedding planning, and post wedding much more predictable/stable and may help your marriage 🙂
Houses cost WAY more than people budget for.
Also, theres no need to own a home as a pre-requisite to marriage.
Post # 5
We are renting and saving up to buy a house, which will still probably be a couple years away. There are lots of benefits to renting as you probably know. For us our furnace needs to get replaced and we don’t have to pay for it. I myself wouldn’t put off getting married just so we could buy a house right away. You have to do what is right for you.
Post # 6
My FI and I currently rent together… and plan to for quite awhile after. I’m planning on going to grad school, and I won’t know where that will be until I’m accepted. So I certainly don’t think there is anything wrong with getting married and then renting. Living in a rented apartment or house won’t make our marriage, or yours, any less valid.
Post # 7
Have you looked into rent-to-own programs? From what I understand it is basically just renting but the money you pay each month goes towards buying the home. Another option is getting a place with a seperate area you could rent out to someone which would help with your mortgage payment. Most people I know who are married or getting married rented before owning. It is definitely not a reason to delay getting married.
Post # 8
I don’t think there is a “right” or “weird” way to do that!
We rented together and ended up buying together BEFORE we were married (we were engaged) but that was simply due to some very specific factors. We were moving to an area we knew we wanted to be in long-term, we had already lived together for 3 years and knew what space we needed, the housing market is SOOO crazy down in our area that if we didn’t jump on it we’d be pretty dumb. But if we weren’t in those specific situations I don’t think we would own yet!
Post # 9
We’re renting while we pay off our loans… And then that money out of each paycheck will likely become our savings for a house (we do have a hefty savings that could likely be a down payment on our house, since we live in a small town… But we of course want to keep saving up towards it) 🙂
Post # 10
Buying a home is only better than renting if you can afford to buy a house. Plenty of people rent before they own. We’re renting now, with no set date as to when we’ll buy a house. Whenever our house savings fund gets to a point where we feel like we can, I suppose. Possibly in 3 or 4 years. Right now, we have other priorities.
Post # 11
We’re renting until we’re able to buy a house. Possibly build one.
Post # 12
Rent until you can afford to buy. That’s what we are doing. You do NOT have to buy a home before getting engaged or married!
Post # 13
lol, there would be a LOT of people who wouldn’t be getting married if you’re supposed to be able to afford a house first. We’ll probably end up renting for a total of four years (at two now) before we can afford a house. I’d rather rent than go underwater on a mortgage I can’t afford!
Post # 14
It’s okay to rent and save up for buying a house together. When you have a kid, then it’s a good time to buy a a house.
Post # 15
That is not a prerequisite to marriage… They are just silly!
My fiancé and I bought last summer, before we were even engaged. But we knew we would be married as we had been together for 6 years almost. Luckily for us, we both have amazing jobs and we were able to afford a beautiful house in a fairly expensive city. I know that is not the case for everyone though, so even though buying is better in the long run since your monthly payments are going towards keeping something, if you really can’t afford it then don’t do it. You don’t want to be struggling every month and making so many sacrifices that life isn’t fun anymore.
Post # 16
Oops, I didn’t read the whole question properly and thought you were asking what WE did, not what you should do. Sorry! I am the vote for “live with parents until you can buy” but that’s just because that’s what we did. I disagree that “if you can’t buy a house you shouldn’t get married”. That’s just silly!