(Closed) Please help — How to divide bridal shower costs????

posted 7 years ago in Parties
  • poll: What is the best way to split bridal shower expenses?
    Divide ALL costs (rental/food included) 7 ways between bridesmaids, MOH, groom's mom, & bride's mom : (2 votes)
    15 %
    Divide everything (except rental/food contribution from mothers) 5 ways between bridesmaids and MOH : (8 votes)
    62 %
    Divide everything (except rental contribution) 5 ways between bridesmaids and MOH : (3 votes)
    23 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Since the MOG and MOB covered two areas, I think the MOH and bridesmaids should total everything else and divide equally.

    If you ever do this again, I would recommend that people just agree to take care of certain parts and pay for it themselves.  Trying to get people to pay up after the fact is too difficult.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t know what ettiquette calls for (except not to have family involved in the first place likely) but I’d suggest the second option – subtract what the mothers said they’d pay for and divide the rest by bridesmaids and MOH.  I admit I’d be tempted to not include payouts if folks didn’t say what they were doing in advance (so if they unexpectedly bought something $100 that wasn’t agreed on in advance that jacked up overall costs to the $600, well that was a nice personal contribution), but ultimately I’d keep quiet about that and say a word.

    Post # 5
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    How are these costs usually divided up? Or how should they be divided up in this situation? The first was for one of my best friends. I paid for roughly 90% of the total cost since I was the only one who actually had money. Our other friend (my MOH) paid for the rest. Her two sisters (one was her MOH) & mother didn’t give us a dime (or a thank you). 

    The second was for my FSIL. My FMIL and I cohosted and I paid for the supplies for the games & the prizes (well over $100 just for the damn prizes). My FMIL paid for everything else. 

    The last was for another one of my best friends. Another bridesmaid and I split the bulk of the cost (roughly $300 each). Her sister (MOH) bought the cake, her mother bought the favors and her MIL paid for the mimosas. 

    As you can see there really are a million different ways that the cost can be split. If you want everything to be even them combine the total costs and split it evenly. 

    Would the bride’s mother and MOH be considered “one person” because they are part of the same family? Unless her sister is young and still lives at home, the MOH and MOB should not be considered “one person”. Actually, as long as the MOH has a job, she really should contribute. It’s part of accepting the role.

    Post # 6
    Member
    646 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Technically, there isn’t a true way to split costs. The person/persons “in charge” should have first figured out how much everyone could contribute to develop a budget. Then, the party should have been planned with in that budget. (Not everyone need contribute equally when its planned by commitee. For example, when my sisters and I planned one, I covered most of the bill, but my youngest sister who was still in high school bought stamps and did a lot of the running around.)

    As it went, I would think that the Mother of Bride and Mother of Groom would contribute for the lasagna and room rental, then the remaining costs would be split between bridesmaids… Unless the mothers want to contribute more (which they may.)

    Post # 7
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    In your case, since you didn’t discuss any other way of doing it ahead of time I feel like splitting costs is the best way.

    From past experiences, I like to just divide up tasks and pay for your task. I like this b/c some people spend more money on things than I would like to. For example, if I were in charge of invites I would either DIY them or use Vista print, while others might find expensive invites and I don’t think I should have to pay for that.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2192 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    This is the exact reason that my two sisters and I in my sister’s weddings have done it all ourselves!!  Take the moms out of the equation and split the cost.  Personally call everyone to tell them how much they owe and to who they should pay it. 

    The last of 5 parties I threw my younger sister was a baby shower.  My older sister and I decided to get help from her friends on that one.  I simply assigned tasks to people i.e. invitations, food, alcohol but also asked for them to doublecheck with us for continuity of theme.  Everyone paid for their own part and there were no issues.  My sis and I did take on the bulk of the cost i.e. rental fee, decor, etc.  Someone has to bite the bullet and do it.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    1766 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Does the bride know about the shower? I would make sure that the bride really just doesn’t want to trouble anyone. Some girls mean it when they say they don’t want a shower.

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