- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I’m happily engaged but I do noticed little bump in my relationship and i would like to fix it before we enter into marriage. I hate to see this rountine but I can totally see myself turning into his mom and … yes, he is using the same tactic with his mom on me. He just tune me out or assume I nag him before I finish the sentence.
How this all start? Well, to begin with, my FI is very bad with finance. It’s not that he doesn’t aware he has a significant amount in visa balance and line of credit. He just not willing to seek for solution. My friend told me it is because people with debt they are used to seeing that amount sitting in the bank and don’t know how it feels like to have saving in the bank. meanwhile, I’m a saver (not cheap because I can be a shopaholic myself haha)… I have to constantly nag him to see a banker with me. took me a year to finally get him talk to the bank, move all his visa amount into line of credit. (which is 20+K, I bet most of it are from high interest accumulated from all these years).
Took me another 1.5 years to convince him to let me him pay down. He is a proud person that hate asking help from others. I told him that it just pointless to pay the bank 6.5% interest on 30K when my homeline can offer 3.25% …
while he is a very sweet guy that want to give me the best but he just cannot afford under this finance burden… I have to tell him to be cheap like me for the time being until we are debt free. He has changed but I have to constantly remind him to do stuff.
Finally, I have notice he tune me out completlely lately. Take him forever to do stuff that I asked him to do. I asked him last night, is it because I nag him that’s why he avoid doing things that need to be done. He said sometimes, he just dun want to explain himself every other two days for why he dun do certain things. I asked… ok, then what is the reason for not contacting the groommen (he still haven’t asked them officially while I already bought bridemaid dresses for all three of mine)
Bees, don’t get me wrong, I know he still love me and care for me. But it seems like he is afraid to spoil me like he always do in the past, he seems to set up ground rules that in the future, he won’t do this and that for me….
I understand we are in the comfort zone now after dating for three years… I suspect that I constantly talk about money issue, house issue work issue with him make him fall out of love………….. I’m not a greedy person, I wasn’t good at finance until I met him. Somebody have to do it right? with our upcoming wedding that estimating 30K … I have to be very careful with our finance….
Bees, what do you think? How do I break the routine and make him fall in love with me again? I have been trying to be more romantic or more proactive… like how about we go to certain location to see x’mas light? how about we go to certain restaurant for a date? how about we go for a movie? He …….always say it’s ok, I dun need it or I’m too tired… or saying I watch too many love movie and make me a dreamer.
I admit I’m a dreamer. In fact, I’m a hopeless romantic girl in the past. Just work and school have drain my energy so much for the past 3 years…. that I dun do any of that with him. …….. how do I reverse the relationship and make him remember the original me when he first dated me??