Please help! How to word thank you for financial contribution in program

posted 3 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

How about:

Thanks for the love and support from all of our family and friends – this day is for you as much as it is for us.

In particular, we’d like to thank ParentsNames. Thank you for helping us have the wedding of our dreams. Love, Asia and Asia FI.

 

—-

FWIW, FI and I are thanking my parents (they’re paying for over half of our wedding by using retirement savings. We’ve told them not to a million times, but they insist, so it’s definitely really appreciated) by having them listed as the host on the invitation, and then at the reception FI and I will make a brief speech thanking everyone for attending, and in particular thanking my parents. We are not planning on including anything in the program.

I think most people kind of assume that the bride’s parents are helping pay, so it’s not necessary to do a huge “THANKS FOR THE CASH, MOM AND DAD!”, so just a simple mention in the program will stand out.

Post # 4
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just thank your parents for their love and support and for making the day possible. I’m not really sure honestly that the program is the place for thanking them for the $$.  You should give them a nice note and gift privately.

Post # 5
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I personally wouldn’t put it in the program, no matter who paid

Post # 6
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly? I’m no etiquette snob, so please don’t flame me for what I’m gonna say. But I think is a gauche (please no flaming!!)  to make it obvious in the programs that your parents paid and his parents didn’t. 

 

You can thank them in person, write them a letter, get them a gift or whatever you want. It isn’t necessary to write it in the programs so that everyone knows what they did and what the others didn’t. Especially considering that his mom can’t help financially, not that she refused because she doesn’t approve or something like that.

 

Post # 7
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Asia:  You can always recognize their generosity verbally (i.e., a toast) rather than in a program.

Post # 8
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

ANY Mention of money in any such way (money, currency, finances, economics) would be seen as being crass / rude and potentially an embarrassment to whomever contributed it

Traditionally the way that such an honour is given in title… as the Hosts of the event (which means their names appear first at the top of the Invitation).

In lieu of that…

The most you could say appropriately is to thank the Parents for being the awesome people they’ve been forever, and how they’ve always been supportive of your hopes & dreams.

(And leave it at that… don’t reflect upon the idea that that might translate into a “dream Wedding”… as it is too direct a statement.  Stay general.  Stay vague)

Hope this helps,

PS… In reality, your Parents KNOW the fact that they paid… and that you guys appreciate it.  The whole world doesn’t need to know your family financial business (where this concept comes fom).  And the last thing you want to do is highlight that someone didn’t contribute (ie his Parents) even if your intention is to highlight the Giver(s).

What you might want to do what others choose to do… buy them a nice present when you are away on your honeymoon… or treat them to a wonderful evening out just the 4 of you to thank them / catch-up when you get back home.

 

Post # 9
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

We would never dream of putting it in the program even though my parents paid for the whole wedding. And in your situation I would think your MIL would feel terrible if you just said thank you my parents for their gracious generosity even though she wasn’t able to help out financially. Having that in there for everyone to see might make her feel bad, like she didn’t do enough, no matter how you word it. I would just thank your parents with a specialy gift personally. There is no reason everyone has to know that your parents paid for everything.

Post # 12
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I hope you don’t do this, as there is no eloquent way to do it, and would only make your FI feel worse about his parents.

Post # 13
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Asia:  just because you think it’s necessary doesn’t make it necesary.  Honestly, if I was the person who paid I would not want to be called out for it, especially if it was going to potentially hurt someone else.  Traditionally, it isn’t the grooms parents who pay, so why make them feel bad that they didn’t?

 

Post # 14
Member
4223 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

There’s no way to do it without putting his family on the spot. just thank them both equally and don’t draw attention to the financial part of this whole thing. Then just thank them with a card or something personal, not public later.

Post # 16
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You said…

????? I honestly can’t understand how thanking my parents has anything to do  with snubbing his parents. Honestly.

Because when we GUSH over one in a gift giving situation… it is assumed that we weren’t as happy, didn’t like as much what anyone else brought / contributed.

Proper decorum would say you accept graciously, and move on.  GUSHING can take place with that person the Gift Giver one-on-one later in private.

By writing things in the Program you’d clearly be GUSHING.  And that would be considered RUDE.

(Sorry, don’t know how else to explain it)

Hope this helps,

 

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