Post # 1
I’m new on wedding bee but I’ve read posts on here for about over a year. Anyways here is the situation.
I’m twenty years old and fiance and I are going to get married this summer. Fast foward to now and my cousin who is 40 years old is now starting extreme drama. I don’t get along with my cousin because she is extremely rude to me and my fiance and is very loud and obnoxious. I did not want her to come to the wedding but being as every family member is being invited, I did what I though was the right thing and sent her an invitation. There has been NO confrontation with her and I for a while but then out of nowhere she sends me a really awful message. I’ll put a copy of the message she sent me through facebook at the end of this post. Anyways she said things like my fiance and I are irresponsible and we need to get off our “asses” because we don’t have jobs at the moment. My fiance and I are full time students taking 18 units a semester so at the moment no we don’t have jobs but she crossed MAJOR lines here. What do I do? I have other cousins ( her brothers) who are siding with her and I don’t know if they should be invited to the wedding either? I for sure am not going to have her there but I’m at a loss what to do now. This is her message:
I just recieved an invitation for your wedding ur special day I know it wasnt from you directly but I wanna touch base with you You are my cousin N i love you no matter what you think of me me i want to be there celebrate your special day you could probably care lesss if i was there since you feel the way you you do we have had our dissagreements with me but really what ever ur feelings you have towards me doesnt bother me cuz i have to live witth my mistakes n i deal with
that myself but u r at an age that u have to take responsibilty for your action you r not a baby no more so stop acting like a bratttttttttttt you know at Easter you said hello only to my mother what did my brother his wife my niece’s my nephew do to you they did no wrong to you no they didnttt you r the one whos disrespectful u are the one who thnks thAT YOU ARE OWED SOMEHING you need ttto get offf your hig horse and realize that u are the one who needss to make a changes why dont you get a job why doesnt Casey get a job why dont you help you MOTHER instead of you depending on your your mother my Aunt do eververyhing for you How Come you cant be That Big sister to your sister instead of concentrating on getting what u want I hate to be the one to step on glass the way you have everybody is around you afraid to telll you shit but thats not me you need need to recognize how you treat people and what you do you can hate me for life…. I do not care cuz really if you lived in my house you wud never get away with what your getting awy with right now you need to step it up as good as you think you are or as adult you think you u r than get ur shit together an really start doing something 4 urself stop making your mom struggle for ur needs get off ur ass and help AND THATS BEING REAL
This is my FORTY year old drunk cousin yelling at me. I’m half her age and she is speaking to me like a small child. I’m so emotional right now and I feel completely worthless now and like people may view me as a loser because I’m only a full time student. I’m SO emotional and I don’t know what to do at this point. She is mad because I apparently didn’t say “hello” to her at the last family gathering which i did and I don’t know why she is lying. This is AWFUL. Bee’s help me please. Do I invite her brothers and sisters that side with her? What do I do at this point? NOTHING of what she said in that message is true and after showing my mom what she wrote my mom is also disgusted with her and assures me that none of this is true and that she is jealous of what I’ve accomplished so far. Please tell me what I should do.
Post # 3
Cut her off and out! I’m sorry for her drama!
Post # 4
This is terrible 🙁 I’m sorry your cousin treated you this way. However, she seems like she’s probably not that intelligent (or just drunk? either way…) so please don’t take what she says to heart and don’t let it get you down. There is nothing wrong with going to school full time, you are not a loser, and I’m sure your mom and sister love you very much.
People are just mean sometimes, and it’s not right.
Post # 5
To hell with them. If your nutso aunt and her other family members aren’t going to support you 100% on your wedding day and be happy for you then they shouldn’t be there. Save yourself the money and potential drama and cut them out!
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this! How horrible.
Post # 6
Wow!! I can’t believe that a 40 year old would right like that, did she go to school at all?? It was hard to follow since the entire paragraph was a run on sentence!
I agree, you need to not invite any of them. You don’t need the drama at your wedding, especially if you have alcohol!!
Post # 7
She’s 40? I didn’t know people older than 18 used text speak in emails. And a period, comma…heck, I’d settle for a semi-colon or an exclamation point…whoa.
Anyway, I wouldn’t write back. You don’t have to associate with people simply because they are family. Are they friendly to you? Or, do they abuse you and make you feel horrible? If it’s the latter, then move on. Seriously.
Post # 8
This bitch is forty? I’m sorry, after about five lines of horrible grammar, she lost automatically.
Her method of expression is very juvenile and small-minded and unfortunately if she’s like this at forty, that will never change.
I wouldn’t want her at my wedding knowing she’s sour over some preconceived ideas about you.
It seems like maybe you are getting financial support for the wedding and she is jealous? Maybe she never received that kind of support. Either way, it’s none of her business and she can go shave her back now.
Post # 9
You know, I didn’t even read her note to you in full. Not worth the time. She is being the ass by being so rude to you and speaking WAY out of turn. It is not her responsibility to school you; how dare she attempt. Cut her off. As for anyone else that listens to her, their fate in this situation is up to them individually. FOLLOW YOUR GUT INSTINCTS. If there is an inkling of doubt in your mind and heart in inviting ANYONE to your wedding, DON’T. Hang in there, sister.
Post # 10
pahahahah I’m sorry. You can’t do anything else at this situation then laugh. Don’t reply. Delete her from your facebook. It’s up to you to cut her from the guest list (I would) and good luck to you!
Post # 11
wow, that is PAthetic grammer. I could barely read it it was so awful. Sorry for the drama this seemingly very immature 40 year old has caused you. I think maybe shes jealous? or just crazy?
Post # 12
Uninvite them – a wedding is supposed to be a place full of love, and clearly there is nothing coming from her end.
You said she was drunk? Good, because otherwise I would have to say that she might want to retake 2nd grade and learn how to spell?
Post # 13
and yea, if shes going to stress you out the day of, or be drunk then, maybe it would be best not have her there.
Post # 14
I would not have known that a 40 year old wrote this if you hadn’t pointed that out.
I would say cut her from the guest list. You only want people at your wedding who support you and your Fiance.
Post # 15
good grief! send her a voucher to use full stops, sheesh im having trouble believing a a 40yr woman is using text typing like that
I would respond “well youre entitled to your opinion so i will take your email as your rsvp not to attend our wedding” and leave it at that.
and if she tries to biotch, blackmail or show up i would forward her drunken rage to others so they can see what a bitch she is
Post # 16
Thank you SO much. It really helps to know that I’m not in the wrong here and that I should be cutting her out. I do plan to for sure and I’m feeling confused on what to do with my other cousins ( her brothers) because they are nice and civil to me face to face but they talk like crazy behind my back and I know it.. if I don’t invite them other family members that they get get along with will get upset. I’m already having a small wedding and I feel like now nobody is going to show up. What a giant mess. Her grammar IS hard to read and it took me a while to actually read the whole thing when I got it at first. She is bashing my life but she doesn’t realize that she is 40 years old has NO job or isn’t in college and she has a child with a guy that she isn’t dating who drinks and doesn’t care about his own child. She’s an alcoholic and frequently verbally abuses my aunt elva who is SO sweet. (her mom). At first I thought maybe she is jealous of the financial part but we are having a TINY budget wedding and paying for it all on our own. I have no idea why she is insistant on attacking me. There has been bad blood between us since she took my cousin and I as well as her 3 year old on a trip to hawaii a few years ago and she got super drunk and passed out in the middle of nowhere, leaving my cousin and I AND her OWN child in the middle of some beach with no money or way to get home. At the time My cousin and I were 15 years old. Can you believe that??
It’s SO hard not to just scream at her but I’m angry :/ I’m angry the most because I sent her an invitation to do the right thing and this is what I get for it. I feel kind of stupid for sending one to begin with.