(Closed) Please help! I'm desperate!!!

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Do my vows need more...
    Personal anecdotes? : (1 votes)
    7 %
    Touchy, feely, romance? : (0 votes)
    Specific "things I love about you" type comments : (9 votes)
    60 %
    Nothing, they sound like a quirky couple in love! : (5 votes)
    33 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    12568 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    it’s impossible to love you without loving myself:  I think it should be the other way around?  It kind of sounds like if you don’t love yourself, you won’t love him..  I think this line is just kind of…off.

    I also am not the biggest fan of saying “I’m not going to lie and tell you I’m going to change things that bother you” (which is the sense I get from this).  I’m going to laugh at you, and I will continue to be messy.  These are not things I would expect to hear in wedding vows.

    Vows are about what you promise to do in marriage.  It is your committment to each other.  Why are you making a huge paragraph about promises you aren’t willing to make?

    Overall, I think it’s cute how you are trying to incorporate yourself into it, but I think there are better ways of doing it than backhand compliments or pointing out your flaws.  I do like the last paragraph, where you do actually commit to something.

    ETA – the first paragraph is confusing.  You’re making vows to him, but talking about him in third person (I told my best friend..) and then you switch to talking to him.  I got really confused because it sounds like your best friend is an entirely different person to me. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    584 posts
    Busy bee

    I also got confused by the first paragraph, I thought you were talking about an old relationship.  I feel like a lot of this are things you could say in private and aren’t really vows but more of something you could write in a letter to your FI to give him on the morning of the wedding.  The only part that is vow-y is the last paragraph, which I think is really great!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Feel free to take any or none of my suggested edits (in italics):

    It was two years ago today I told my best friend that I loved him back and now, here we are, professing our love in front of our friends and family.  I‘ve never told you this before, but I regret not saying those three words far sooner than I did. I want you to know that there was never and will never be any doubt, only overwhelming joy that the love of my life is in love with me too.

    It took finding you to make sense of my life. I wasn’t able to see who I really was, until I saw myself through you. You are my soul mate, my other half, loving you and being loved by you has made it possible for me to love myself, and that is the best gift anyone could have ever given me.

    I can’t promise perfection and for that reason, I can’t promise to laugh with you and not at you, I can’t promise to fold my laundry, I can’t promise to sweep my hair off the floor, or to stop leaving make-up on your side of the counter, or to quit eating crumbly things in bed…but I promise that I will always try!

    I will promise you this and more: I promise to be your loving wife, the mother of your children, and your faithful friend, I promise to tell you I love you every day, I promise you when there is nothing left, there will still be US, making the ordinary extraordinary. Above all else,  I promise you, in front of all these beautiful people, that I will love you fiercely and sweetly for the rest of our lives.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1308 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @MsMindle:  I like your suggestions, especially with the first paragraph. I wa a bit confused at OP’s post.

     

    As for the “Promise” paragraphs, I would leave out the laughing at him part. To me, it seems kinda mean, especially on a wedding day. Maybe incorporate something about one of his hobbies you are less than thrille dabout

    “I cannot promise to stand by your side during….video game session/playoff season, whatever it is your Fi loves that you don’t”

    And instead of saying “will not” I would say “can not” becuase hey, I can’t promise my FI I will not leave my makeup on the counter, or that I will stop eating cookies in bed, or I will  watch EVERY NBA playoff game (if that’s what they are called) but I CAN promise him I will alays look beautiful, he will never go to bed hungry, and will always have a designated driver during NBA playoffs to pick him up from the bar 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    9560 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I agree with the edits from @MsMindle:  

    I love the I won’t and I will paragraphs. Very personal. Very awesome.

    Also something to think about: I work in the medical field and see many many couple that have unforseen fertility issues. I always worry that putting something like that into vows could cause heartache later if anything were to go wrong with trying to have kids. Maybe change it to:

    But I will promise you this: I promise to be your loving wife, and your faithful friend. I promise to build a family with you. I promise to tell you I love you every day…

    Just a thought. The vows are lovely

    Post # 13
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I really dislike the paragraph where you are outlining what you will not do. You may not think you are saying this, but you actually are saying that you aren’t even going to try to stop doing the things that annoy him. How is laughing at him and refusing to fold your laundry loving him sweetly? I think there could be a way to incorporate humor and make your vows personal without saying it like this.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1072 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I am not a fan of the i will not parts

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