Post # 1
I have no idea where to post this so move it whereever it fits best.
My father-in-law drinks heavy. He is on and off the wagon constantly. When he is sober he is a great man, kind, sweet, thinks of his family when he is drinking he is mean, creepy, and kind of a pervert. He kissed my sister on the lips and made her extremely uncomfortable because he was drunk.
My husband is deploying in about two/three months (can’t give exact timeline) and I want to go to my father in law and try to have a heart to heart and tell him that he needs to hold it together until my husband deploys. My husband does nothing but worry and get upset over this situation. I do not want my husband going to a war zone worrying about this, that’s like Navy 101. Keep your sailor happy, do not let him worry about home. My husband is about ready to cut ties with his father which would break his mothers heart so I’m trying to keep that from happening and keep a huge family brawl from going on.
Is it bad form for me to go to his father and say politely say to him you need to get your shit together for the next x amount of time before he leaves to keep him sane while he is gone?
Post # 3
@shootznladrz89: it’s not bad form, but alcoholics aren’t known for their concern for others, and sometimes the one thing you tell them not to do wil be the one thing they are sure to do.
So, it’s a risk. Also, most alcoholic families don’t respond the way youd think they would, so don’t be surprised if you get black balled for daring to speak the truth about his behavior. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, just know what you’re taking on.
So sorry you and FI are going through this, ESP before he deploys. 🙁
Post # 4
@Tinatiny1: The rest of the family has basically written him off already. I am just terrified that when he deploys, hes going to be worried about this situation and get hurt.
Post # 5
@shootznladrz89: Oh sweetie 🙁 What a tough situation. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Think of it this way, though: What do you have to lose? If your FI is thinking of cutting ties anyway, and the rest of the family has essentially written him off, you may as well give this heart to heart a chance. I’d suggest calling him before heading over to assess whether or not he’s sober. Hopefully, thinking about the situation his son is going to be in, he’ll at least listen to what you’re saying and understand where you’re coming from.