- 8 years ago
I am a really private person, but please help me know that I am sane…or tell me that I am crazy and over reacting.
I feel that my Fiance is disrespectful and unreasonable, and he makes me feel like he doesn’t love me enough.
This is what happened tonight. (It is very common) And some background information.
He works at a private college, and he has keys to the gym. He is gone all the time, literaly. He is calling recruits from 6-10 at night, and I work durring the day from 8-4. He is announcing games and recruiting on the weekends. We only spend time together from 4-6on the weekdays. It could be more but he chooses to play basketball after calling kids and doesn’t get home until after midnight.
I have talked to him many times(so many I am incredulous that he continues to do this and we are still together) He always says he wants to spend more time with me, he loves me, and is sorry he hurts my feelings. He says he is messed up and selfish. And nsometimes he cries when we talk about it. He has always put his friends in front of me. I am not exaggerating. We have been together for over 4 years. He chooses to leave me crying and hurt so he can go play basketball. He said he could play earlier in the day, but he never does.
He says I am controling and he never gets to see his friends, which he sees more than me. He says he doesn’t want to let his friends down. But he lets me down, and he crushes me. And I let him. I have no idea what to do. I feel stupid for letting this affect me. It is just a huge deal to me if he is here to sleep with me. But what is the biggest issue is that I would never do the things he has done to me to him. To me, it is blatent disrespect. That hurts. And we are supossed to get MARRIED? I do not want to go on living like this. What SO likes it when their other doesn’t come home before midnight- and by choice. He just does whatever he wants with no consideration. And I have tried to do different things, but I live with him. I have no where else to go right now, not untill school(I work there) is over.
We have been to couples counsiling, but even when we talk about what the counsilor says, he only focuses on the things she told me to work on. Nothing about what he should work on.
How can I get help, what should i do? I am so desperate. I told him I am done with this. I took off my ring. I don’t want to be a drama queen, I just want to stand up for myself and what I believe in.
I know I am horrible at explaining the situation, but please speak your mind. Anything would be great. Even if it is “you’re crazy, let it go”.