Please help me on the RSVP date!!

posted 2 years ago in October 2014
Post # 2
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That’s crazy early for an RSVP date. Usually you send the invitations 6-8 weeks in advance, maybe a little earlier if it’s a destination wedding. Then, an RSVP date of 3-4 weeks is typical.

I mailed my invitations on April 16th for my June 14th wedding, which is out of state and everyone will have to travel for. My venue asks for entree choices 2 weeks in advance, so my RSVP date is May 17th to give me two weeks to chase people down. 

Post # 3
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That’s too early.  I had mine only about 1.5 months ahead of my wedding date since we had to have final numbers 30 days in advance. 

I think if you have it too early, you are going to have too many people that are not going to rsvp in time and you still will not get an immediate response once you try to track them down.  We had people with our 1.5 months still wanting to make travel arrangements and did not give us definite answers until almost the 30 day mark.

Post # 4
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Definitely too early! Even if people RSVP then, there will definitely be changes. I had an RSVP date 2 weeks before my actual date, and people still were changing their minds a couple of days before!

Post # 5
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

A month out is probably max you can ask for RSVPs by for a non-destination wedding.  I would double check with your venue if you need food choices when you sign the contract.  Most don’t need it.  We signed our contract in July, and set our food choices two weeks ago. 

Also, your coordinator should be able to guess your table needs based on your guest list, and be able to adjust once RSVPs come in.  A coordinator who can’t do this isn’t worth what you are paying them.

Post # 6
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - The Fox Hill Inn

My wedding is 9/20 and I made my RSVP date 8/30 since I need to have food selections into my caterer two weeks before, and a preliminary count 3 weeks before. I figured this gives me time to chase people down too! I’m planning on sending them out end of July so that gives people a month to respond, which I think is more than necessary. The more time you give them, they are going to take it!

Post # 7
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

That seems VERY early.

My wedding is Oct 31st – I’m sending the invites right before Labor Day Weekend [So like August 24thish], with RSVP’s due at the end of Sept. That gives me an entire month to get numbers together.

Post # 8
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

gpiglet:  My caterer needs 2 weeks of time so she suggested we have them RSVP 1 month ahead of the date. Anything more doesn’t help the vendors.

Post # 10
1383 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


gpiglet:  that’s what we did – gave the venue an estimate (190-200) based upon our guest list of who we were inviting.  Then set RSVP date for 1 month before wedding (sent invites out about 10 weeks before wedding).  Now we have to give the venue our final number a week before the wedding, and it turns it out it’s around 186, which is fine – it’s only a problem if you tell the venue you will have 200 guests and you end up with, for instance 75 or 300 – you would need to let the venue if your estimate is wildly different than the actual amount of people as soon as possible for planning purposes.

Post # 12
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - The Defoor Centre

For me my wedding is in June and I sent my invitations w/RSVP cards out on March 15 and requested that they be sent back by April 15.  My reason for this is I do not have an outside coordinator/wedding planner.  My venue have a cooridnator that will do everything from decorating the venue to my food and cake, everything else is my responsibility.  Therefore I set a certain time frame aside for everything that needed to be done.  I wanted by invitations out and RSVP cards back asap so that we would have our venue budget done which including knowing how many tables i will need (serve dinners) so now I know how much decorations i need.  Although I did not have to give my venue my last count until June 9 and make my last payment, my venue was paid out on April 18 for 103 quests.  Everything else for us is the small things we need to tend to such as my vendors. 

You have some people who lag around and you may have to call some people to remind them not to forget to send back the RSVP.  I had many friends who thought that just because they rec’d an invitation they were good, I had to informed them that yes you are good for the ceremony but not the reception.  And I even rec’d a RSVP card back on May 1st (15 days later than i request) and I had to let them know that as of right know they are welcome to the ceremony but not at the reception at this time unless we open it back up.

Post # 13
11614 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Send your invitiations 6-10 weeks prior to your event, with your RSVP date about one month out from your date so you can follow up with non-responders and get your final tallies into your vendors.  Most will require a final number 10-14 days out.

I think a July RSVP date is absurd.  I wouldn’t know my plans that early unless I had to make some significant travel plans. 

Post # 14
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

gpiglet: Yes it’s too early. If you had a July RSVP date and invited me, I’d either not respond or respond with a maybe. I’d stay in touch and let you know in September if I were able to make it. 

Why not assume more rather than fewer people and just commit to that menu? Can you also commit to a minimum number of decorations and then add more if needed?

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