Please help me reword this!

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Which sounds better?
    Original wording : (4 votes)
    67 %
    Officants suggested wording : (2 votes)
    33 %
    Other (please share your thoughts below!) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    841 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @hazyleyedbeauty:  I think it depends on what message it’s supposed to be giving. I think those two paragraphs mean two totally different things. The original is more about the two of you, while the rewording is about everyone at the wedding (“each of you in attendance today…”). That’s how I read it, anyways

    ETA: I guess I forgot to give my vote! I like the first one better (the original). It’s more personal.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    2871 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Marriage is the coming together of two lives, a celebration of the love between two people.  As you embrace one another in love, you embrace the families that have been brought together.

    Post # 5
    Member
    941 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @LilliePad:  Agree with this interpretation. OP, how are you transitioning into the rose ceremony? 

    Post # 8
    Member
    841 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @hazyleyedbeauty:  Ok, after reading how the rose ceremony will go down, I definitely think the riginal wording makes the most sense. Like I said before, I think it’s more personal. It doesn’t make sense to bring the entire audience into a rose ceremony that is supposed to be about you two and your parents/families.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    941 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @hazyleyedbeauty:  I agree. I like the original wording and I think it flows just fine. What a beautiful rose ceremony you have planned. 

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