Post # 1
I dont know what to do, this wedding process is no longer fun… heres a little background…
I got engaged Christmas Eve ’10 and my wedding is June 18th ’11 which didnt give us a lot of time to plan.
We never started with a set budget because my parents said they’ll just give us money whenever they can.
I have done EVERYTHING so far to please everyone else, I am not in love with my wedding dress (I got it because everyone wanted me to get it) I cant have the shoes I want because my MOH complained about them. I feel bad because my BM’s didnt like the dress I picked out for them.
We have no decorations yet and we have a little over a month left
We cut down our guest list from 180 too 100 because we couldnt afford it but we both have REALLY big families, so imagine UNinviting people
We are both christians and want to do things the right way before God, but I am no longer happy about this wedding. It has nothing to do with my fiance, its about how everyone else feels.
I really dont know what to do, I have no cake, food, decorations, favors, DJ, nothing really…If you have ANY advice please give me some…I would cancel it and just go to vegas, but I feel like I would hurt peoples feelings.
Post # 3
I’m sorry you are feeling this way, but you need to start putting your foot down and get what YOU want.
Look in magazines and on DIY sites and find decorations you like and see if you and some of your more agreeable friends can put them together. Or maybe just have a simple, spare wedding (there’s nothing wrong with that either!) with skimpy decorations and more spirit.
Get the shoes YOU want. Who cares if your MOH likes your freakin shoes? She’s not wearing them!
Tell your BMs to STFU. They are wearing this dress for 1/7403278329th of their lives and they can deal with it if they don’t like it.
Visit local grocery stores’ bakery and floral departments. They often have amazing bouquets and cakes available for a fraction of the cost of wedding vendors. Plus, when it comes to cake, people just want something delicious and sweet… Who cares if it was $1 a serving or $12?
Or … just cancel and go to Vegas! If others’ feelings are hurt, who cares… YOUR feelings will be UN-HURT and that is what matters!
You are caring WAY too much about what everyone else thinks!!! What matters most is that YOU and your fiance are happy! That is what God wants in a marriage – happiness and love – right?? God did not say that we should get married and have big showy weddings to please everyone ELSE.
Wishing you the best! 🙂
Post # 4
@CharlotteMJ: Thank you sooo much, that helps alot!
Post # 5
@Jasminelani: I hope you can start making yourself happy 🙂 It’s what everyone deserves and so few people are able to achieve (especially with weddings it seems!) but what is most important is that you and your fiance are starting a life together. Get ready for a MARRIAGE, not just a WEDDING. 🙂
Post # 6
Honey, do what YOU want. I would go return that dress and go shopping with your best friend or by yourself and get the dress you love. If you have to, get it on store credit.
As far as the shoes, no one will see them under the dress. Get the ones you want.
This is the day you will look back on for the rest of your life. Do you want to look back with regret or happiness?
DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!!!! Please!
In the past, I used to let family dictate stuff and I would have it. My self-esteem was very low. Now, I am not letting ANYONE ruin the day I marry the love of my life!!
Post # 7
Girl, if I lived in California I would totally drop what I am doing and come help you! I completely agree with CharletteMJ, it’s YOUR wedding! Check out my DIYpage….I am willing to make you anything I can to help you out!!!
You can always do cupcakes instead of cake…and you can have your BMs make them or a family member….decorations can be simple, cheap, but elegant 🙂 Think tealights and picture frames….as far as food, who says you have to have some big sit down dinner or buffet?? You can do appetizers and small finger foods.. Bottom line is that you and your FI are getting married and that’s what is important!! Not all the extras 🙂
Post # 8
Aww, I’m sorry it feels like you are having to please everyone else. But like you said, you want to do the right thing before God. That could mean anything to different people, so just ignore what I have to say if this is not what you mean. I would probably just be happy that I’m getting married, and try to make personal touches in whatever way within the next month or so. Just try and focus on what it means for you and your FI and forget about the formality of decorations, dresses, etc. Focus on the marriage and not the wedding.
As far as money saving goes, you could do an iPod wedding instead of a DJ. Get a song list and stick with it. You don’t have to spend tons of money on a cake. Do you know how to bake cakes yourself? You could bake 3 or 4 and display them beautifully, I’ve seen that done at many weddings. What time is your wedding? Maybe you can go light on the food, just snacks, etc. I know those things seem “small” in comparison to other weddings, but if you’re focusing on the marriage then it might make you feel a little better.
And when it comes down to it, if you feel you would be happier going to Vegas, or to the courthouse, do it! People make get their feelings hurt, but marriage is marriage and tell them they can worry about the details if they want to help you out with a reception. Ultimately you have to be pleased with your wedding, not anyone else. I really hope this helps and that you are happy with whatever you decide. 🙂
Post # 9
@TheFutureMrsLamkin: Thank you for the advice and support! Its more than my MOH is giving me right now 🙂 I looked at your DIY, all I can say is Ah-Mazing!! I Love your centerpieces, I almost had the same Idea actually. And your reception sandals is what I was going to do for my ceremony and reception 1. beacause Im 5’11 and my MOH is 4’9 I didnt want to be any taller than her than I already am. And 2. because I have such big feet (size 12) It would be hard to find any other shoes anyway.
My whole goal was elegance because everyone said I couldnt pull it off, but now Im starting to think I should just change my whole theme…It was ‘old hollywood’ white and black, with red and silver accents…but now Im thinking just keep the red and change the theme…
I have like no support so its frustrating..I would love to do the wishing tree (which I had actually never heard of until your DIY, thank you!) But I spend my days doing everything for everyone else so I havnt been able to make myself anything for the wedding.
But seeing your things actually just gave me a bit of hope, seriously! Thank you!
Post # 10
@kperry3: Thank you for the tips.. I have been trying to just focus on my Marriage more than anything, but who doesnt want their beautiful wedding. ya know?
I would go light on the food but the wedding starts at 7, with the reception directly after. Which means people are going to be hungry because its dinner time.
When I think about it I feel like I would regret going to Vegas or the courthouse, when I look back at it. Because I DO want my family and friends there!
Post # 11
I added a few pictures of me in my dress to my gallery. I just dont think it flatters me very well at all. Let me know what you think.
Post # 12
Don’t let everyone get to you. Now is the time that you enlist others to help pull it all together.
Dress- You just need to add bling accessories to your dress. Its nice, simple and elegant. Add some nice earrings and a necklane.
Reception- Do a buffet. And since its family, get various family members to cook sides if you need to. If not, use the local grocery store to cater. Or you favorite restaurant. I personally like Mexican when its a large group because its not as expensive. One of my Mom’s besties had all of her friends help make various side dishes and she ordered chicken from Alberston’s. Everyone had a great time and loved it.
Beautifying the venue: Like another Bee indicated, use the local grocery store as your florist and explain the situation. Use Michael’s and the Dollar Store. Use the DIY pages for inspiration. Also enlist friends and family to help w/ the project.
Cake- Do a dessert table. Enlist family and friends to make their fav cake, pies, or cupcakes. Costco has a great selection of various desserts. Just decorate the table w/ some flowers and your done.
DJ- Ipod. Ipod. Ipod. Ask friends for songs as well and have it downloaded to your IPOD.
Since you are now just done w/it all, its time to delegate. Get your BM, family, friends and your FI family to help. If your a member of a church, ask for their assistance. People are always willing to help but you have to ask first.
Breathe. Its gonna be alright. Just delegate someone in your party to be your DOC. And tell her you don’t want to know about any issues the day of.
God Bless and Congrats on your nuptials
Post # 13
You need to do what is best for you. I am local and can share some info on great local pricing.
Post # 14
I feel the same way! If everything weren’t paid for I would GLADLY hop on a plane and elope! If I knew before how stressful this whole thing were then I would have done it. I feel like I am doing a lot for everyone else including my fiance and am a little depressed about the wedding. Don’t call your wedding off, just do everything YOU want. I am sure the descions you make are great and everything will turn out beautiful. Wear the shoes you want, sell the dress you have and buy the one you really want. Good luck and remember this won’t last forever but your love will!
Post # 15
@Jasminelani:Seriously DIY projects don’t take that long to do! Everything I’ve done so far has only taken a day or two mostly while watching a movie or some reality TV…LOL! The blingy flip flops are so easy and quick to do, you should do them! I got mine at Old Navy and the rhinestones from my local craft store. I’m awaiting my manzanita branches from an Etsy seller for the wish tree but originally I was going to use some tree branches from my yard 🙂 So YOU COULD TOTALLY DO THAT! Go grab some good branches and spray paint them black and glue em into some floral foam and place that into a container of your choice. If red is your color, get nice deep red container, that will look great! I’m also going to put some moss on top of the floral foam to cover it and give it more of finished look. You could them make some tags out of cardstock or whatever else you can find at your local craft store. Punch some holes, tie a ribbon and POOF! You have a wish tree!
I’m a CRAZY DIY girl, so I’ll be posting many more projects! PM me if you need help with anything else!!!!! 🙂
Post # 16
I’m very much in the boat of looking forward to the marriage, NOT the wedding. I was kind of dreading the wedding until tonight (our best man just got back from Afghanistan yesterday or so, to give you an idea of how much our lives are entwined with the military. So tonight news is AWESOME.) Really, though… It’s the one day you should feel the most free to be yourself. You won’t care about the decorations et al, your dress won’t really matter. What’ll matter will be the atmosphere, the joy of the event. If you can’t find joy in the day, step back and determine what has to happen for you to truly celebrate your profession of love and commitment to your FI.