(Closed) PLEASE HELP! Moissy equivalent passed off as diamond and now….

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1383 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ohhh I really hope people don’t give you crap for this. I think I understand just not wanting to explain from the beginning, and I don’t think you owed anyone a gemology lesson, lol. But my advice would be just to tell you friend, because better that than she just keep pushing the issue, and it getting awkward. if you just tell her it should stop there. She’d be a pretty bad friend if she went and talked after telling her everything you just told us.

Post # 4
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

first of all, that is a mean game that your friend is playing. If she’s deliberately asking questions like that then it sounds as though she’s trying to ‘out’ you. 

If I were in that situation I’d probably try and make her look stupid instead by going ‘you thought it was a DIAMOND?? Seriously?? Clearly it’s a moissanite- you haven’t heard of it? Oh girl, I’m so sorry, I thought you already knew about it! But you just wanted a diamond so you went with a smaller stone… FI got imported and everything…” etc etc.

Catty, yes, but a real friend wouldn’t try and make fun of you.

Post # 5
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Tell her where you actually got it from? It isn’t a diamond, but it isn’t a CZ either. I have moissanite, when a friend asked if that was CZ price, I just said “I wish! Lol”. 

Post # 6
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Tough one. But you shouldn’t feel guilty about anything because it is no ones business what your stone actually is.

Post # 7
Member
4662 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@anonbridetobee:  You don’t have to tell her or anybody else. You don’t have to justify to anybody!!!

Post # 8
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m confused about what your ring is though. It’s not moissy, and you say it’s not CZ, but what IS it?

Post # 9
Member
1383 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

On second thought, I have to clarify that I absolutely agree that you shouldn’t feel obligated to explain to anyone, but if you think your friend is going to keep trying to “out” you, it might be better to just tell her because then you won’t have the anxiety of keeping a secret. And then whatever she chooses to do with thta information will reflect badly on her, not you.

Post # 10
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Why don’t you just tell her it is not a diamond, but another gemstone. If she asks about  it further, explain. I would have really big ring envy too if I knew someone with a 2 carat diamond 

Post # 11
Member
4662 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Don’t engage her. It might be mean, but she’s being mean too.

Make her feel stupid for pushing it, and make her feel like she’s too ring obsessed and the whole conversation is boring. and/or play stupid.

Like say, “Omg, how can you talk about rings day in and day out!? I don’t know the specifics. My fiance did most of the work and I am just happy to be engaged to him – no matter WHAT the ring was. I didn’t play 20 questions with him.”

Or call her out on her rudeness. Shift the focus off your ring and onto how rude and stupid she’s being.

Post # 13
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

She knows it isn’t a diamond and rather than calling you out, it sounds like she’s giving you the opportunity to bring it up first. Just tell her the truth and clarify that you guys didn’t spend $$$$ on a blingy diamond, but you love your beautiful ring, etc.  – projecting or deflecting will only make the situation harder on you.

Post # 14
Member
4662 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I still really don’t think you have to tell her, even if she does bring it up again…

 

Post # 15
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I really don’t get the feeling that the friend is being mean/trying to “out” the OP at all. Let’s not make that part of the problem too, b/c the OP never said it was.

Anyway, I wouldn’t know what to do in this situation. In the first place, I wouldn’t have compounded the lie by telling her that you had the setting replicated somewhere else. I hope she isn’t a very close friend of yours, because she could be pretty hurt that you led her on about the center stone, and lied about where you got the setting, especailly since you knew she loved it so much.

My best advice is to come clean and gently explain to her all the benefits of your stone. If she’s a real friend she won’t judge you, and maybe she will be encouraged that a ring like that really is attainable. Otherwise, you’re just going to have to keep covering for yourself, and if she finds out the truth, it could get ugly. That’s just my two cents. I personally can’t deal with lies piling on top of one another, even if it’s for just an acquaintance. For a friend even more so.

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