- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I have posted before about my issues with my 13 year old daughter. Her dad FINALLY came out and admitted that he was wrong for letting her come and live with him because she is completely out of control. She doesn’t listen, she lies, she is rude, doesn’t help out or anything. She lost all internet privileges and was recently caught saying some very mean things about my nephew who is slightly autistic. Her exact words for the picture of him she posted on google+ were ” this is what I have to deal with”. My brother doesn’t want her around his son anymore. I can’t blame him. She shows no remorse when she is caught in a lie or anything. She rolls her eyes and when asked why- I don’t know is the answer. I have recently allowed to come to my house during the day to see how she can get along with her sister. That lasted a whole 3 days. During those 3 days though, she was polite, helped out and everything. Monday was a bad day. I gave them each specific chores that needed to be done while I was at work. I checked in periodically throughout the day and was told that chores were done. When I get home, nothing was done and the house was a mess. So I got to spend the rest of my night cleaning, doing laundry and everything that was supposed to have been done during the day. I asked what they did all day and said they watched tv, played games on their tablets, played games with each other. I asked why chores weren’t done- I don’t know was the answer. So I told them that they are welcome to play their tablets and watch tv but chores needed to be done. I asked what kind of game they were playing and they said it was like tag. I said that needed to be done outside. I also reminded them that the weather is beautiful and that they need to be outside doing activities and not sitting around the house all day.
So yesterday I get a call from my younger daughter saying they were playing a tag like game in the house and my older daughter knocked a hole in my kitchen wall. I was livid. I told her that I had specifically said not to be playing those types of games in the house. I asked the older one about it and why she didn’t listen- I don’t know was the answer I got. I told her that she is no longer allowed at my house during the day unless an adult is there to supervise since she and her sister cannot make good choices. My younger daughter had a softball game last night and their dad was out there. So I go to my older daughter and tell her that she and her sister are going to pay for the damage she caused to the wall and they will pay for it by working it off. I told her that she would need to do extra chores. She said very snotty like that she already does chores. Her dad said it was an accident. I said, no it wasn’t because they were told the day before not to play those types of games in the house. He looked at her and said, then that is your fault and you will pay your mom back. My daughter got all pissy and wouldn’t talk to me the rest of the game and didn’t bother to say bye when she left with her dad either. After the game I go up to her dad and talk to him and that is when he apologized for letting her stay and that he was wrong. He said that he shouldn’t have been so quick to believe her because she lies so much.
I told him that it’s a little late because the damage has been done and she is out of control. I told him that even when I try to discipline her, she runs to him and it’s a pis*ing match between us then.
I am supposed to be taking the girls on vacation next week. My younger daughter has earned the right to go because she is always helping out with her little brother, helps around the house and outside. When she is around her older sister though, all they do is fight and are so snotty. I am debating on whether or not to take my older daughter.
Part of me doesn’t think she should get to go because of how she has treated me the last 6 months and nothing has improved, in fact it has gotten worse. The only time she wants to come to my house is to play her tablet or to have me buy her something. Not once has she ever called or texted me to see how I was. If i call or text her, she is always busy. I also don’t think she should get to go because of the hole in the wall. She didn’t even bother to own up to it or apologize. My younger daughter right away called and told me and apologized.
The other part of me wants to take her still because she is my daughter. But I feel like she needs to learn consequences and maybe not getting to go places will teach her that.
I had discussed this with her dad and he is supportive of whatever decision I make. He said he was sorry for all the bad mouthing he has done about me in the past too. I reminded him that if I don’t take her, I don’t want to hear him talking crap about me or hear that his mother is doing it too. She is a big reason why we are in the mess we are in.
I am so very sorry that this is so long. I just needed to vent and get some advice from other moms. If this had been me when I was younger, I wouldn’t be able to sit for a month!