Please help us make a budget and decide guest list numbers! Thoughts/advice?

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: How many people should we have at our wedding?
    30 - the core group of people we absolutely want and know will be there for us : (15 votes)
    68 %
    50-60 - the core group plus more friends! : (7 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    935 posts
    Busy bee

    @nomnom:  all depends on your budget. if you can afford it and want the extra friends then go for it. however, if you really want to save some money then just having your family there is perfectly fine. dont feel obligated to invite extra people if it doesnt fit in line with your plans to save for putting down a deposit. i

    im sure no one is going to laugh OP. most ppl would love to be able to put on a wedding for a minimal cost (at least I would), more power to you for finding your vendors. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    922 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @nomnom:  I think it really depends on how difficult it would be to save up that extra $4000, and how soon you are looking to buy a home. If its a big stress to come up with the extra money, i would go the smaller route. But if its not a huge issue, I woould invite more friends. I think it really depends on the level of stress involved.

    For me personally, I would rather spend a little more to make sure all of the people that I’m close to can be a part of my day. I have the rest of my life to buy a home, but I’m only getting married once. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @nomnom:  

    if you’re still looking for a photographer, pm me. I know someone who will do a great job for under your budget. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1500 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think this is a completely personal decision you have to make. Think twenty years from now, would you like to have the memory of the additional people being there for you on your day and is it worth delaying your dream home by however many months it took you to save that money? If it is, then go for the larger party.

    As for cake, this is your decision as you’re paying for it so you don’t have to have to do a tiered one if you don’t want to! We had a dessert buffet, no cake, and people were happy to have something sweet to eat

    Post # 7
    Member
    9533 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Yeah, we can’t answer this one for you. Being able tin invite all the friends and family that we wanted was one of our top priorities. So this would be an easy decision for us. But you guys may have different priorities. Think about ten years from now. What will be more important to you looking back?

    Post # 8
    Member
    5199 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think you answered your own question in the first sentance. 

    “We want to have a small, intimate wedding with our closest family and friends.”

    If you actually want a small wedding AND it will save you money, have the small wedding.

    My best tip for having a small guest list?  Have a short engagement.  It shouldn’t take more than a few months to plan a wedding for 30 people.  If people are hearing about your wedding and engagement for a year and a half, it then becomes more grating to know they aren’t invited.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Frankly, I feel it depends on your budget and comfort level about “over spending”. You have to do what is right for you and your fiance. For US, we are not willing to go into debt to get married. We decided to keep our guest list small…. compared to yours, it is “micro”, LOL.

    We will have 14-15 including ourselves. However, our situation is a bit different. We already own a home and run our own business. Our families are spread out too far to have them dealing with travel and expenses on such short notice and I lost my Dad in October so that is a big whammy.

    Our priority was to set the budget AFTER we paid our personal and business taxes in March. We are marrying in MAY 2014! So the budget is tight, as is the scheduling, planning, etc. We just decided that we need to do it OUR way. We have support from those who matter most and that is all we want and need on our special day.

    We spent $1750 on the venue (including tips), a charming restaurant built in the 1700’s. We will tie the knot in the garden if weather permits. If it rains, their indoor fireplaces are stunning. For that money, we get the following:

    Four booked hours (maybe overtime) <br />Ceremony<br />Cocktail hour with hors deurves<br />Top shelf open bar<br />Sit down dinner (soup, salad, entree, dessert, coffee)(with everyone around one big table)<br />An amazingly-decorated (and landscaped) venue<br />Wedding Cake<br />Dance floor

    Officiant: $275 (on a holiday weekend with little notice!)

    Outfits: no expense for us. My dress, tiara, shoes, jewelry, garter & hanky were a surprise and generously gifted my Mum and our dear friend. His outfit is a dapper suit he already owns.

    We will be spending about $7000-$8000 including our rings and other incidentals. Long Island, New York is not cheap but we managed to pull it off and will do it the way we roll. ALl in all, I think the whole holiday weekend will be perfect, personal, memorable and meaningful. Most of all, we get to spend it with those who are closest to our hearts.

    Enjoy your planning and chat with your honey about what feels right for you now… and in the near future. Consider who is paying and plan carefully. Try not to fret about invites too much. I know it sucks to not be able to invite the universe to your big day, believe me. Plan for upset “non-invitees” and think about how you will gracefully handle them. And, remeber this is YOUR and HUBBY’s DAY! Not anyone else’s. You don’t have to please averyone else. Stick to your guns. Be prepared for kick back and dont be surprised if the ones who you thought would be asses about planning actually support doing it your way. Just gently explain why you need to do things your way. :O) 

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