Post # 1
Okay so here’s the deal.. FI and I already live together (we rent a house) so we already have everything we need and most of what we want..our engagement party is coming up and while we didn’t expect gifts, just a family get together we keep getting ?’s about why we aren’t registered…how do i explain to people that it’s not necessary to bring a gift but we would appreciate money if anything, towards our honeymoon? I want to register for a few things for the bridal shower but for the wedding we would honestly prefer monetary gifts so we could put a down payment on a house…help! what do you bees think we should do? and is this uncommon? ..my grandparents on my step fathers side just told me that we have to register lol….
Post # 3
I would suggest setting up a small registry. Try to upgrade some things that aren’t in great shape or think out side the box of typical kitchen stuff and register for things like home decor. Some people are just not comfortale giving monetary gifts and won’t do it no matter what. If they are going to buy you a physical gift anyway you might as well make sure it’s something you’ll like.
PS. It’s never OK for the bride and groom to tell people they would prefer cash.
Post # 4
Well you cannot ask people for money instead of gifts. If you would like people to put money towards your honeymoon, I would use a site like Honeyfund or Zankyou.
Registering for a few items for your shower is a great idea and people will appreciate it.
Post # 5
I am in the same position as you. I have had my house for 5 years and have lived with my FI for 2 years, so we really do not need anything, but we went and registered for new “updated” stuff. I was told it is just plane rude to ask for money (i dont agree, but then who am i to judge), oh well, some of my friends are still giving us money.
Post # 6
I think you should register at one store. Some people aren’t comfortable with giving cash as gifts, and it will make them happy if they can buy you something off your registry. You can always return their gift after the wedding as long as they give a gift receipt!
If you’re only registered at one store then I think it sends the message that you prefer cash. Plus you could always write on your wedding website that you’d also appreciate monetary gifts as you’re saving up for a downpayment on a house.
I don’t think I’d say that you’d like the money for your honeymoon. I think guests want to contribute to your new life together, either buying you household items off the registry or contributing to a downpayment. I know honeymoon registries are really popular, but personally, I’d feel better knowing the couple was spending my money on something more long term than a honeymoon.
Post # 7
@mashka i totally agree with you lol i have seen some cute poems saying things such as “while it’s your presence, not your presents we are asking, if you would like to bring a gift, how about giving the honeymoon a lift” and some other cute ones…sigh. most of the honeymoon registries we’ve looked into take a percentage of the money! but @ moose i will look into those sites
Post # 8
Everybody just wants $, you aren’t alone. But it’s rude to tell people that. What you can do is just say you didn’t register b/c you already have everything you need and leave it at that. Hopefully people will get the message.
Our friends just got married and didn’t register, we just gave them cash. I can’t say if they got a bunch of actual gifts anyway b/c I didn’t ask, but I know a lot of people gave them $.
Post # 9
If you want money instead of gifts, obviously you can’t just ask for that outright, but you can def let your immediate family know to spread the word.
Post # 10
and i forgot to mention…i wasn’t saying we are going to ask for money i was just saying we would prefer it….i understand it’s rude to ask outright i was just asking for opinions on what to do… @emev we do not have a wedding website, who do you use?
Post # 11
Do a small registry… There are always some people who want to actually give you a gift and not a check. Unless you want something random that you probably won’t use, try to register for things that you might EVENTUALLY need (like linens that you could put away for a while and get out when you need them). I’ve also heard that it’s rude to ask for money. Personally, I’d rather get the bride and groom something they actually WANT (and if that’s money, then great!). I think a small registry will be perfect.. it will satisfy the people who must bring a tangible item, and it will give others the idea that you would appreciate money.
Post # 12
My family did that to us, too. While we were planning to register, our engagement party was a year from our wedding, so we hadn’t put that much thought into the registry at that point. But we started getting calls from close family members because they wanted to buy us stuff. We finally started a registry at BBB and C&B with a few things that we knew we wanted, and people bought off it for our e-party! It was all immediate family, though. We mostly got china because both our mom’s really wanted us to have nice china (which we love having, BTW).
I would suggest you add a few things at one store you know you want to use for your shower. Mostly just to appease family. Most people give cash for weddings in lieu of a gift, anyway, so as long as you offer a few select options, and not much more, people will assume to give cash.
Post # 13
okay so FI and I came across a site called ourwishingwell.com and we made one! so far EVERYONE loves it! it’s only 20$ for a year for a premium subscription and they only take 1%…check ours out, we’re gonna make it cuter and add a few things…PLEASE, please let us know what you bees think! thanks
and top right you can click on gift registry after you’ve lookes at the homepage…what else should we add to the homepage?
Post # 14
Just register. It will make people happy. We decided to register for nicer flatwear and some new reidel wine glasses. Or you could register for christmas china. Or something. People like buying newlyweds gifts, and we finally decided to stop fighting it.
Post # 15
Look for places like honeyfund.com or felicite.com for big ticket items you may want or a honeymoon contribution. I think people are so used to registries that they just want some guidance.
Post # 16
We didn’t register either. We told everyone we were remodelling the house and needed new windows, appliances, etc. We told them that Lowes/Home Depot don’t allow you to register for lumber and paint, so people got us gift cards. Some wise ppl also got us cards to Sears, saying Hubs would have to buy tools (many of these people had done their own home renovations). Some of those who didn’t like the gift card idea got us home decor or photo frames so we could frame the wedding pics (I’m very in to photography.) My MOH and Mom told people that I was very into collecting glass items so we got some very nice pieces of that as well. After I told my co-workers my dryer didn’t work they actually collected enough to purchase a Lowes card that allowed us to buy a new dryer :)! And my boss at the time asked what we were doing other than the house and I told her we were going to adopt a dog, so she gave us enough on a Petco giftcard to buy all the doggie supplies!
We also got a lot of cash. I think many people give that no matter what.
I also think by not registering we got a lot more wonderful creative gifts because people went to their favorite places and picked out very nice stuff. But the point was, we didn’t ask for cash.