Post # 1
Wedding Date: August 16
A List – Mail – May 21
RSVP – July 2
B List – Mail – July 7 (I figured it would be best to give a few extra days to get ahold of those who didn’t RSVP and to let those last few come in the mail)
RSVP – August 1
Do you wonderful ladies see anything wrong with these dates that I may be missing? Most everyone is in town, however, we did not send Save-The-Date Cards and there are a few families who are Out of Town on the A List that are invited, so I’d like to give them time to make arrangements.
Thank you to everyone who looks over this for me!!
Post # 3
I would suggestion caution in the A-list B-list scenario, but I’m sure you’ve already heard that. However, I would note it here because you’re talking about such a dramatic timeline difference in inviting these folks. If some are family or friends on the A-list, the B-list is highly likely to fine out.
Beyond that, I would wonder about an RSVP date on a Sunday when US mail will not pick up an RSVP, nor will you receive one.
If everyone is local, I imagine that it is likely the A-listers won’t respond so far ahead of your wedding date as you might hope. I mean the standard time to mail an invitation is 6-8 weeks in advance of the date, and you’re asking people to have a final answer in to you 7 weeks in advance for a local event. In fact, the early demands of your timeline could increase the chances that A-listers will talk to people who end up being B-listers, assuming there are connected parties on the two lists.
Post # 4
There is no connection between the lists. Almost everyone on the B list is co-workers. Thanks for pointing out about the Sunday issue though, I’ll have to fix that. And not everyone is local, out of the total 100 people between both the A and B lists, about 10-15 of them are Out of Town, thus why I needed to get them out sooner. I’ve always heard mailing invites 2-3 months prior to a wedding, and there is a major festival in our town the same week of our wedding, so I took that into account as well.
ETA – I changed the date to July 2nd instead, which is a Monday.
Post # 5
3 months ahead of time for A list is too early. Invites are supposed to go out 6-8 weeks before the event. You cannot expect people to know their schedules so far ahead. If you didn’t send STD’s it doesn’t change that. I am sure most people know via word of mouth when the wedding is.
Also I will also point out (since this is the etiquette section) that there is no polite way to handle the B list since it is not polite to even have a B list.
Post # 7
@andielovesj: I disagree. I know my schedule a year from now. I think 2-3 months is perfectly acceptable, especially with Out of Town guests. I know my venue needs my final count a month before the wedding…if she’s in the same situation, her numbers would give her 2 weeks to hunt down the no-show’s on the A list, make a seating chart, and send #s to vendors. Plus most hotel blocks open to the general public 1 month before the wedding date, so this gives guests 2 months to figure that out.
OP- I wouldn’t push it back more than 1 week, for the reasons above.