(Closed) please tell me NOT to share wedding details with my BM! (small vent)

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

 im having red rose bouquets as well! to me there is nothing more classic, i love them. and Purple shoes! go girl, i doing red…umm any color matches white. haha

im honeymooning in Jamaica! cannot wait.

when she gets married she can choose whatever she wants. this is YOUR wedding

Post # 4
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow so rude of her!  I’m sorry you are dealing with negativity from her!

Post # 5
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

There’s nothing wrong with the comments per se. If I was talking to a friend who was having an exotic destination wedding and she said she was having roses I would be interest to find out why she preferred roses over tropical flowers considering the exotic wedding. I wouldn’t mean anything bad by it but just be genuinely interested in her thinking. And your explanation that you have always wanted roses is a great reason.

I’ve had friends be surprised at me wanting coloured shoes too, but I just remind myself that not everyone spends as much time as I do on wedding websites so they may not know coloured shoes is very popular. Perhaps they think all brides have white shoes. It’s nothing to get upset about, just remember that not everyone can read your mind and explain your thinking to them.

But then I guess it all depends on the tone it was said in, if it was very snarky I’d probably get upset too.

Post # 6
Member
2809 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s been said on here many times before that no one cares about your wedding as much as you do, so I can see how an offhanded comment like that would upset you.

Also, even in the early stages of wedding planning I’ve learned that often times it’s best to keep some of the details to yourself. Everyone has an opinion (positive or negative), and a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that the entire world wants to hear what they have to say 🙂 I’d let it roll off your back and maybe reign in the amount of info you give her, that way she doesn’t have a reason to say something.

Post # 7
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Awww those comments do sound a little harsh, just try not to take it personally. I don’t think anyone but us knows how much we care about every little detail of the big day

Post # 8
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wouldn’t think anything of it, I don’t think she is being rude, she just likes different looks then you. She isn’t saying “your idea is bad/ugly” just sharing her opinion.

Everyone has different styles/tastes, so just brush it off and happy planning!

Post # 9
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Unfortunately, some people will just be negative.  I have a friend that criticizes everything.  I showed her my STD and she burst into bitching and complained that they looked like advertisements.  lol  I said, “That’s the last time I will show you my wedding things, ideas, etc”.  I would say, just stop telling her what you plan on doing and don’t ask her how she feels.  Just give her what she needs and don’t ask any questions.  I would also let her know just how much her constant criticism hurts you.  Maybe she will think twice before saying something that might upset you.  I am a firm believer in people not realizing what they are doing.  Hope this helps!  Good luck.  I think everything sounds wonderful!

Post # 12
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

When we first told my grandmother (Meme) that we are engaged. She couldn’t have been happier. Then the very next thing she said was ‘hun, throughout this whole process everyone you talk to “knows what a wedding is” and that wedding is never the wedding that you have in your head. Everyone is sure that their vision of a wedding is the only one that can be, and they are so very wrong. Stick to your guns and do it your way, no matter what they say.” Honestly that was the best advice that I have received my Meme is great. I have had to put my foot down to multiple people throughout the wedding process. One of my bridesmaids has been like yours and finally I flipped and said “This is our day, we would like it like this. When you and -said boy- get married I will do whatever you want, even if you want to make me wear pink.” And I HATE pink, so she knows that it is a big deal. We have also had to diplomatically tell him parents multiple times that we want it our way. I feel like it is just something you have to deal with when you plan a wedding. Sucks but I feel like it is sort of normal.

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